003. Video

[willinglychanged]

[An incredibly haggard looking Drew appears on the screen, broadcasting to the entire world. His eyes are rimmed with dark circles marking sleeplessness, where there isn't black there's the puffy pink of a man who might've been crying recently.

He'd taken a few days to process what'd happened and somehow, in the midst of the mind-numbing insomnia and guilt he decided a public confession needed to be made. When he speaks his voice is raw and raspy and the only light in the room is from the crack left in his curtains, allowing daylight to filter through.]

So I uh, I guess I lied about some things. [He hears his voice and realizes how shitty it was, coughing slightly to clear his throat.] When I talked to any of you, I told y'all werewolves weren't dangerous, that we were regular members of society and we could control ourselves. I guess that ain't exactly true.

[His voice cracks again.] See the thing is, we feel things a little different, everythin' just comes on a little strong. An' hell, I can be weak... an' I was weak last week. I let the wolf take over an' drowned the human part of me in poison. An' I uh- [A deep breath.] I killed someone, a guy called Toby. Now I know it ain't permanent or anythin' but I guess I had to tell everyone that 'm not just the nice guy I wanted to be, I can understand if there're people out there who won't wanna talk to me anymore. Hell I don't even wanna know me right now. Shit hit the fan and I didn't leave myself in a position to control it.

[His voice goes quieter.] To anyone out there who I was really friendly with, I get it if y'wanna keep your distance- I fucked up, maybe stayin' away from me is the best thing y'can do. I'm gonna try fix things... its just gonna be hard, but I want y'all to know that this ain't what every werewolf does... I don't wanna hurt the cause 'cause of my own emotions... it ain't the species, its just one bad person.

[Now that his confession is done the wind is visibly gone from his sails, he seems almost haunted as the feed stays on for a couple seconds before clicking off.]

Comments

private;

[hisheartsdesire]

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, I know you hate me.
And that's perfectly fine, all right?
But I need to know, I have a right to know what you did to me.

private, text;

[willinglychanged]

Look... I don't exactly hate you. I can't exactly hate you right now.
You should hate me.
What I did... it wasn't meant to happen.
Even back home this doesn't happen.
What I did to you? That's gonna be a lot harder to explain.
Short story: I don't know.

private, text;

[hisheartsdesire]

You hunted me, Drew. You KILLED me.
I said sorry how many times, I said I didn't mean to hurt you.
And that part, I truly meant.
Apparently, it was bad enough that I should've DIED.
Well, don't worry. You've made yourself and your feelings perfectly clear.
You really don't know what this is, what you've done to me?
That can't possibly be.

private;

[instars]

Rage is a terrible thing to waste, little doggy.

private;

[willinglychanged]

[He doesn't know this person, but she gets his imaginary hackles up already.]

The wolf doesn't exactly think it was wasted. An' I ain't a dog.

private;

[instars]

The wolf.

You are the wolf. Don't pretend otherwise.

text

[kinesia]

[ Grey hasn't talked to Drew in a long time. Not since the day with the fight, not since Drew had seemed so uncomfortable with him.

Given all of that, this is the last kind of message Grey would have expected to see from him. He isn't sure what to think, but there's a strong part of him that just feels sad to hear Drew upset. ]

what happened ?

[ That's all. And he stays on text, because it's easier anyway, and he's not sure Drew wants to see him - either because he's still angry about the fight, or because he feels ashamed. Either or both is possible. ]

text;

[willinglychanged]

[Drew replies as a text message mostly because he can't bear to have Grey look at him right now. He understood that the other man's tendency towards violence came a little easier than Drew's own, but this was different... this was murder. He hadn't even been thinking of Grey's fight, after all, because he'd been dealing with this bullshit of his own rather than talking to anyone about it.]

remember those times I told you I was dangerous? That I could lose control.
Well it finally happened and a guy I know wound up dead.

text;

[kinesia]

[ Anyone can lose control, Grey thinks. Anyone. Not just werewolves. ]

i know
but what happened ?
why did you lose control ?

text.

[increscents]

you sound like you've had a rough week.

text;

[willinglychanged]

tell me about it.
Guess I'm letting the team down.

text;

[increscents]

wouldn't be the first time a werewolf murdered someone.

we just usually don't announce it either.

voice;

[brushoff]

[ whaaaat the fuck.

what the fuck.

Of course he fucked up, he fucked up so badly and man alive does Dorian want to just throttle Drew right here and now. He's not on video because he doesn't want Drew to see just how angry he is, but the ferocity and sheer anger and vitriol is PRETTY DAMN APPARENT from his voice alone. ]

If you come anywhere near where we live, I'll kill you.

voice;

[willinglychanged]

[He should've expected a message from Dorian, really. Because he had fucked up and the other man wouldn't be happy about it. It was ridiculous really, how he'd wound up hurting the first man to have shown him kindness in this place. It'd been a tangled web from the beginning, yet Drew was only starting to see that now.]

I get it, an' I'll be keepin' my distance, believe me.
But- and I have to warn you here man, there's gonna be a time that he's gonna wanna come to me, to try an' figure this shit out. He's not gonna be the same any more, I can feel it.

voice;

[brushoff]

You can "feel" it. [ and you can just HEAR the airquotes in Dorian's voice. ] What sort of bullshit is that?

audio

[huntergames]

Tobias?

[ Tobias, stop dying. ]

audio;

[willinglychanged]

Yeah, Tobias. He mean somethin' to you, too? [A sigh.] I'm sorry. Least out here it ain't permanent.

text;

[cupio]

[ Jesus Christ, what a mess. ]

where are you?
i'll come find you.

text;

[willinglychanged]

no clary... you probably shouldn't be round me right now.
I might hurt you.

[ text ]

[enucleation]

Quite the confession to make publicly like that.
People do a lot of bad things, you aren't the only one.

The question is, if it will happen again. And again. And again?

text;

[willinglychanged]

I guess I felt like people had to know.
Probably regret it a little already.

It won't. I won't let it.

Voice;

[takethestairs]

You drugged yourself willingly, despite knowing the consequences. You lost control - no, you didn't just lose control. You threw it away, without a care to anyone around you. You killed a man, and this... this is all you have to say for yourself?!

[At first, he speaks slowly, his voice ice cold, until his outrage finally breaks through. By the time he's done, he's practically screaming into the receptor]

Voice;

[willinglychanged]

[That's a complete strangers voice that he doesn't recognize. An angry stranger's voice. An incredibly angry stranger's voice. He would've expected this if it was Dorian, but it wasn't.

Either way, it got his hackles up.]

I didn't come here tryin'a excuse myself, man. I was just lettin' everyone know what happened. [There's a slow reverberation to his voice.] An' I'm not tryin'a sound like a dick or anythin'... but I killed a dead man. A dead man who came back in a matter of hours. Ain't like it had any long lastin' consequences. [It was a bullshit response, but he'd been talking to Toby and well, Toby had done nothing more than make him want to repeat the gesture in some sick way. The wolf was somewhat sated, Drew's anger wasn't.]

No point cryin' 'bout it now it happened. Guess I'm just livin' up to the legends.

video

[rathercommon]

[ Her voice is quiet. She is furious - she cares for Toby, after all - but...he's being screamed at a lot, she suspects. So instead: ]

Why did you kill him? You didn't have control?

[willinglychanged]

I didn't. [Very point blank.] I poisoned myself, lost control, he was there.