003. Video

[willinglychanged]

[An incredibly haggard looking Drew appears on the screen, broadcasting to the entire world. His eyes are rimmed with dark circles marking sleeplessness, where there isn't black there's the puffy pink of a man who might've been crying recently.

He'd taken a few days to process what'd happened and somehow, in the midst of the mind-numbing insomnia and guilt he decided a public confession needed to be made. When he speaks his voice is raw and raspy and the only light in the room is from the crack left in his curtains, allowing daylight to filter through.]

So I uh, I guess I lied about some things. [He hears his voice and realizes how shitty it was, coughing slightly to clear his throat.] When I talked to any of you, I told y'all werewolves weren't dangerous, that we were regular members of society and we could control ourselves. I guess that ain't exactly true.

[His voice cracks again.] See the thing is, we feel things a little different, everythin' just comes on a little strong. An' hell, I can be weak... an' I was weak last week. I let the wolf take over an' drowned the human part of me in poison. An' I uh- [A deep breath.] I killed someone, a guy called Toby. Now I know it ain't permanent or anythin' but I guess I had to tell everyone that 'm not just the nice guy I wanted to be, I can understand if there're people out there who won't wanna talk to me anymore. Hell I don't even wanna know me right now. Shit hit the fan and I didn't leave myself in a position to control it.

[His voice goes quieter.] To anyone out there who I was really friendly with, I get it if y'wanna keep your distance- I fucked up, maybe stayin' away from me is the best thing y'can do. I'm gonna try fix things... its just gonna be hard, but I want y'all to know that this ain't what every werewolf does... I don't wanna hurt the cause 'cause of my own emotions... it ain't the species, its just one bad person.

[Now that his confession is done the wind is visibly gone from his sails, he seems almost haunted as the feed stays on for a couple seconds before clicking off.]

Comments

[brushoff]

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, don't add in that damn specific substance in the first place!

[willinglychanged]

[Another not-chuckle.] I'll totally remember that next time I decide that poisonin' myself sounds like a hell of a good time.

[brushoff]

Hey, I'm not the one who willingly poisoned himself, I think it needs to be stated!

[willinglychanged]

So you're tryin'a tell me you never got blind drunk 'cause someone put you in a shitty mood?

[brushoff]

When I get blind drunk, I don't murder people.

[willinglychanged]

And when y'get blind drunk y'don't suddenly become a werewolf either, dude. We're talkin' two very different ball games.

[brushoff]

Right, because I'd be sensible enough not to get fucked up enough that I blindly kill people in the first place.

[ he.....probably would not be sensible enough, Dorian is kind of a hypocrite. ]

[willinglychanged]

Then you've got a lot less control issues than I do, Dorian. Guess I should be ashamed.

[Even though he totally imagined Dorian capable of horrible things.]

[brushoff]

[ he blindly kills people when he's sober, thank you very much. ]

Damn right you should be ashamed. Or, at least, embarrassed.

[willinglychanged]

Embarrassed ain't exactly the right word Dorian. Ashamed, sure as hell. Embarrassed is gettin' 'caught with your pants down, not blood on your hands.

[brushoff]

I couldn't think of a better word. Mortified, perhaps?

[willinglychanged]

If I was the kinda guy to use words like mortified then maybe I'd use it.

[brushoff]

You are the kind of guy who knows what mortified means, right?

[ it's a valid question..... ]

[willinglychanged]

[He narrows his eyes.] Dude I'm not completely stupid. [He totally knew what it means, right?]

[brushoff]

I talk like I ate a thesaurus, it's a valid question.

[willinglychanged]

Yeah well... at least y'can recognize that the way y'talk ain't normal.

[brushoff]

Whether I choose to acknowledge them or not, at least I'm aware of my faults.

[willinglychanged]

[He clucks his tongue.] Believe me if I wasn't aware of any faults before now I sure as shit do after all this.

private

[brushoff]

Good. It's just...

[ and here Dorian just swaps it to private ]
I'm going to be honest with you—which is a rarity for me so appreciate it. I've had experience with your kind before, a werewolf in Iceland. Decent man, we got along splendidly and yet he tried to rip my throat out with his teeth once he had changed. I know more about the changes than you could possibly imagine. If you had the decency to try and kill me, it'd be water under the bridge. [ after all, Dorian's always been a bit blasé with regards to his own deaths. ]

But you had to go and murder Toby. And wolf or not, I don't know if I'll be able to truly forgive you for that.

private

[willinglychanged]

[Drew only switches to private because it seemed to be what Dorian wanted.] Listen Dorian, I've been a wolf for eight years... an' this? This is the first damn time I ever felt like one. Not in the comfortable sense. But this is the first damn time I've been the savage monster all the legends said I should be. [A sad sigh.] I never wanted any of this. Never wanted to kill anyone. Damn I never wanted to spiral outta control so damn hard. I just wanted to make myself some kinda normal life out here.

private

[brushoff]

If you truly don't want the wolf anymore, there are options. I don't know how effective they would be, but you could be normal if you wished.

[ something that...Dorian isn't sure how he feels about. ]

private

[willinglychanged]

[A growl comes out of him. He can't help it.] No. I didn't say for a second I didn't want the wolf. I just didn't wanna fuckin' ruin everythin' because of the wolf. Like hell would I ever wanna get away from it. [The wolf really had changed his life for the better.]

private

[brushoff]

Really? Because saying you 'never wanted any of this' sounds damn close to you saying you don't want the wolf. And a normal life? The only way you could have anything close to a normal life is to get rid of that thing entirely.

private

[willinglychanged]

[His voice takes on the cadence of a growl.] Ain't never had a problem with the wolf 'til your damn boyfriend came along. [They were pushing a difficult subject here, Dorian.]

private

[brushoff]

It's hardly Toby's fault that you decided to kill him.