💣 015 | text

[gangsterbaby]

piss shit fucking bloddy basterd

[It's like high-tech graffiti! How exciting. That stays up on its own for a while, but it's eventually joined by another message.]

Wood plancks and rope needed. Money is no objeckt as I am a rich pirate with lodes of cash. Must be delivered here to morsha falls independint housing with delivery fee negotible.

Comments

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[h2no]

YOU BETTER NOT BE ABOUT TO MAKE A POOR NAME FOR US ACTUAL PIRATES WITH LOADS OF CASH, ALF.

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[gangsterbaby]

[rude

also is capslocking happening now okay]

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME

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[h2no]

[SURE IS]

IT'S ON YOUR COMM.

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[gangsterbaby]

WHAT IS A COMM?

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[h2no]

THE THING YOU'RE USING.
WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING WITH THAT EQUIPMENT?

[archie has no idea about normal alfie's criminal proclivities, he's just assuming this is some dumb kid thing. rip.]

Text;

[pocketfulof]

[Well uh, that's some impressive language. How old was this kid?]

What do you need planks and rope for? Because uh, you probably don't have to offer up much for that kind of stuff.

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[gangsterbaby]

I am making a raft, have you got it?

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[pocketfulof]

Might have some rope, definitely not the planks though.

You have experience building rafts?

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[gangsterbaby]

Yes.

[Barely any.]

Are you a builder?

[pocketfulof]

Definitely not a builder.

Did help patch up some canoes back at camp, though. And I can follow plans, if you have any and want a helping hand.

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[stabsthebacks]

You know, I've worked for many a rich person (though not usually pirates) with loads of cash, and they generally had less creative spelling and didn't lead with profanities. Even the ones that didn't have English as a first language.

[Not that she objects; she's more amused than anything.]

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[gangsterbaby]

I speek English just fine.

Are you going to sell me rope or are you going to complane?

[stabsthebacks]

Not complain. Observe.

[gangsterbaby]

Are you going to sell me rope or observe?

[stabsthebacks]

Depends what your offer is. A girl's got to eat.

[maevelous]

[ Good lord. Don't tell her he's affected by this nonsense going on, too. ]

Now what would you need these ropes and planks for?

[gangsterbaby]

[Sorry for your lots, Maeve.]

Making a sailing raft like Huck Finns.

[maevelous]

[ But oh no. It's oddly adorable. ]

Of course. Here, I thought you might try to make someone "walk the plank." Glad to hear you only want to take to the seas.

Something of an adventurer then?

[gangsterbaby]

I am an explorer of other worlds and distent lands.

[Says the kid who, up to now, had barely left London, but listen.]

[maevelous]

Are you? And what do you make of this distant land? You are quite far from home, aren't you?

[versusseeker]

bad words

[gangsterbaby]

Fucker.

[He's a charmer.]

[versusseeker]

[W O W.]

stop
not nice

[gangsterbaby]

[Alfie's just delighted that someone is responding to the swearing, honestly. He'd been disappointed that it had gone largely ignored.]

Are you going to make me?

[versusseeker]

[Listen. No? He's not? But that doesn't mean that this is cool, okay?]

ur going 2 upset some1

[Like Red, for example.]