maskormenace | (no subject)

[Newt is wearing the type of rubber gloves used for household cleaning, which is clearly what he's been up to, seeing as he's covered in a layer of dust and has a wet sponge in hand. If you've been to the nerd's house back when they had a house, you'll recognize the room behind Newt as their kitchen.]

You know, moving BACK into a house is way more work than I anticipated. Almost as bad as moving IN in the first place.

But it's kinda of therapeutic, I guess. In a weird way. It's, uh...It's comfortable, like coming home, but then you're also clearing out cobwebs and dusting off shelves and finding things you thought were lost...

[He's not just talking about material possessions, either. His thoughts seem to wander far away or inward and then Newt heaves a sigh and refocuses on the camera with a smile.]

But damn do I feel like I've been living under a rock!

Ah, anyway. The house! Right! Lots of cleanup and yard work ahead. [See how thrilled he is? So thrilled.] Which means...

We happen to be in the market for a pool boy to clean up and upkeep our pool and look hot in a small pair of shorts. In lieu of a resume, send a pic!

[He gives a cute wink at the camera which is utterly ruined by the fact that he is not as cute as he seems to think he is and looks like a disaster right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uhhhh, depends on your type, I guess! What are you thinking for uniform? Gold booty shorts are traditional, but cliche.

Oh, damn. I hadn't thought that far ahead.

Sadly, muscled bros are not really MY type, they're more Hermann's, so I think the type is broad shoulders, nice chest, well-shaped legs, and a good, toned ass.

I was thinking something less flashy for uniform because Hermann tends to like to keep things classy.

Ooh! Say you want someone really into swimming! It's not too out there to ask someone working on pools to know how to swim, and you'll get the right body type.

Classy pool boy uniform. So like ... tweed booty shorts?

This is true. Pretty sure a lot of the water polo players in high school fit that body type category.

[He laughs] Oh god, if you know of any, YES. I NEED THOSE.

I ... do not know of any. But! I will find them. This is suddenly extremely important to me, the very tippy top of my to-do list.

Awesome. Thanks! I don't think Hermann could resist a guy in tweed booty shorts.

Oh my god! And a little matching vest? Don't bother answering, obviously it's a yes on little matching vests.