003, video.

[areou]

Listen up, eyes forward. ( which may or may not be easy to do, considering the sheer amount of guns in the background. they range all sizes, all shapes. whatever kind of gun you can think of, it's definitely there. she's even leaning against a glass case that is also full of guns. )

Carl's gone, so I'm stuck running his stupid store. ( she says like it's an inconvenience, even though she does enjoy it most of the time. ) Stock isn't a problem, obviously, and I'm the most qualified to solicit weapons advice, but now it's just me and I occasionally have better shit to do.

( not necessarily true. she just hates to admit why she's bothering to appear on the network again. she hesitates a bit, because she's a stubborn asshole. )

If anyone's willing to enlist their services around here, let me know — doesn't matter whether you like guns or more medieval armaments. I just need someone to crunch the numbers and all that shit, be here when I'm not. I pay cash or I can conjure you as many custom weapons as you want.

( speaking of, she turns the camera to the other side of the store, which now sports a plethora of medieval weaponry: spears, swords, daggers, the occasional mace and ax. it's whatever clarisse has felt like conjuring and then didn't want to keep. )

This is just a small selection of the shit I can make. ( the camera turns back to clarisse. ) Hell, I'll fight your fucking battles for you as long as you agree to watch the store. Any takers, you know how to reach me.

Comments

[shotgunsolutions]

[Oh my god look at all those guns just sitting there for the taking.

Oswald puts on his best smile.]

I'm very good with numbers.

video

[metaphorbia]

[ Oh. David might be in love. With the guns, that is, not Clarisse. He looks past her at the stock with unbridled awe, simultaneously jealous and amazed. ]

You could pay me in weapons. Hell, I think I might pay you just to be around that many weapons. Is that a Gottschalk rifle?

1/2

[fehus]

Mark your videos next time for excessive weaponry. Jack just went apeshit for like twenty minutes about how he's gotta get back out there. Swordshit?

[fehus]

[slightly more somber;]

I was kind of hoping he was just laying low for doing hoodrat crimes.

[areou]

Just for the record, Jack is henceforth banned from my store. I will not have him harassing my product. Or serenading them.

[fehus]

He's your roommate. You can't ban him?

[areou]

( i got my eye on you, oswald!!! )

Good. Keep up that enthusiasm and you might have yourself a job. You have any interest in guns or just numbers?

[shotgunsolutions]

I have some experience with handguns and shotguns. The sort you'd deter thieves with. I think I could learn the rest.

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[areou]

( oh, she knows that look. she knows that look very well. they're going to get along swimmingly. )

It is a Gottschalk. ( she smirks. ) You can have it in exchange for 40 hours and standard benefits.

[areou]

It's my store. I can ban whoever I want.

( she'll ban you!! don't put it past her. )

[metaphorbia]

[ His brain knows he probably shouldn't agree to that when he still has no idea what anything is worth in this world. But his heart really wants that gun. ]

-- Benefits? There's more benefits?

[fehus]

[oh nooo not thaaaat]

I mean you can, it's your right, but don't you think that'll make the chore wheel thing even more tense? Come on, consider the long game, here. So what if he flirts with your halberds a little bit...?

[areou]

You know, health and dental and all that shit. I'm not HR, I don't know how all that works.

( spoiler: they don't have hr but she'll figure that shit out later. )

[metaphorbia]

[ David looks a bit mystified honestly. ]

... I dunno either, but I'm guessing it's a good thing. So - yeah, I'm sold.

[areou]

Fine, but he's only allowed to show up when I'm not there. If I have to listen to him have a one-sided conversation that inevitably ends in rejection and moping, I'll fight him myself.

[fehus]

Y'know, he'd write really good endorsements for your products. With some tasteful editing.

[areou]

From the best. ( you'll never have a better weapons expert than the daughter of ares himself. ) You have a name?

[shotgunsolutions]

[He's very familiar with a lot more than he's said, but no reason to let on to that right now.]

Oswald Cobblepot. Yourself?

[areou]

It's supposed to be. ( she shrugs. ) Anyway, what's your name so I can put you down?

[metaphorbia]

David. David Charleston. [ A beat. ] Uh - I don't promise to be super smart, but I am really organized.

[areou]

Please don't give him any ideas. I'm not posting Jack's love letters around the store.

[fehus]

He does know how to describe weapons really well, though!

[areou]

Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares.

( habit. but for once she holds her tongue and doesn't ask what kind of ridiculous name is oswald cobblepot. you know, because professionalism. or something. )

I'll put you down. You go by any nicknames? Oz? Ozzie? ( she barely stops herself from saying waldo. )

[shotgunsolutions]

No. None of those. Oswald is fine.

[Or Penguin. But that was his business name and he'd yet to make it for himself here. Better to keep it quiet for now.]

[areou]

But can he do it in a form that doesn't resemble a Shakespearean sonnet?