video; roomba revolution plot. un: Ash Starmer | Green Newman

[subroutined]

[ The video starts with a concerned looking Green. ] Has anyone else noticed their vacuum robots acting strangely?

[ He then turns the camera onto the roomba of De Chima #004, which is bleeping angrily and rolling around in circles. ]

I tried to turn it off, but it ran into my ankles and wouldn't let me. I can't communicate with it... Does anyone have any ideas?

Comments

voice;

[crassidy]

Might just want a day off. I'd say leave the lad to it.

permavoice

[subroutined]

When I try leaving it alone, it follows me. When I go upstairs, it's sat at the bottom of the stairs, beeping for hours.

[crassidy]

Tried opening the door for it? I gave ours a knife and let it out into the world. Better than the little bastard spitting dust everywhere.

[subroutined]

What if something happens to it out there? I wouldn't want it to get damaged...

[pacifisticuffs]

[ Simon is holding Nonah 007's very angry roomba in midair, its front pointed away from him. It's letting out a very loud, high-pitched tone and doesn't seem inclined to stop any time soon.

He is covered in dust and peeved about it. ]

'Strangely' would be a word for it, I suppose.

[subroutined]

Shite, you look awful.

[ Tact, Green. ]

Have you been able to turn yours off?

[pacifisticuffs]

If only. [ He has to shout over the sudden leap in volume from the roomba as it suddenly starts spewing dust and dirt everywhere again in a dramatic cloud. ] It greeted me with a carefully crafted dust message of expletives this morning and got testy when I swept it up.

[subroutined]

Oh well now. Sweeping up its message is just rude, I suppose.

[ From... a certain point of view. ]

I really do wish I could talk to them. But I don't think our codes are compatible.

[Video]

[generalgrievous]

Smash it.

[subroutined]

What--? No...?

[generalgrievous]

Is it not replaceable?

[subroutined]

It's obviously more advanced than normal, now. I can't just replace it with another vacuum.

action;

[loyal_soldier]

[He's still recovering from near-fatal radiation sickness, but thanks to nanites and Archie's healing abilities, most of the symptoms have been dealt with. Now he's just resting a lot. Which means he slept through the first couple hours of the roomba revolution.

But he sees the post when he wakes up, and calls downstairs.] Do you need assistance?

action;

[subroutined]

[ Rather than shout across the house, Green abandons the blaring roomba downstairs and pads up to 622's room. ]

I'm sorry, did it wake you? You should be resting. You're still not well.

video

[girlybruiser]

[ Haru looks more alarmed than anything else. She also seems to be seated unusually high in the video.

... which she is. She's on top of her kitchen counter, with something whirring and beeping somewhere off screen. ]

I tried to take the battery out, but it ran over my fingers... so this is happening to others?

Re: video

[subroutined]

Apparently so.

[ She's got the right idea. Green moves to stand halfway up the stairs, where the roomba can't get to him. ]

Though I suppose I can understand why. If I was upset about something, I wouldn't want to be silenced or shut down.

[ In fact, that literal thing just happened to him not long ago, and it wasn't a pleasant experience. ]

[girlybruiser]

[ Having no idea Green means that literally, Haru nods in agreement. ]

I wouldn't either, but... there is no need for them to get violent!

[subroutined]

I'm sure if they could communicate with us other ways, they would.

...Or at least, I'd hope so.

[video]

[couldbebeautiful]

Uh, yeah, mine went and disappeared—god, I don't know, lock it in a room and don't let it out?

[subroutined]

I just wish I could understand what it wants. But you're probably right. I'll try to shut it in a closet or something.

[couldbebeautiful]

The way they’re going, I don’t know if that’s safe for your clothes. [Somewhere, there’s a loud whirring, and Veronica whips around.] Neko! Neko, hey, where the hell are you?

[Turning to the video feed:] That’s mine. I knew something was wrong, but I thought it was just him—you mean it’s spreading?

[subroutined]

Maybe the pantry would be safer?

Apparently it is. You're not the first person who's responded.

video.

[larped]

I tried the same thing, but I think that just offended it. Which I can't believe I'm saying about my vacuum cleaner.

[subroutined]

It's a bit smarter than a regular vacuum cleaner. Though, to be honest, it seems a little too smart to me.

[larped]

You mean suspiciously smart, or "in the wrong line of work" smart?