maskormenace | 02. voice.

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02. voice.

This is kind of embarrassing, but anymore I feel like I don't have any shame.

So...my girlfriend is living away from our place for now, participating in a reality show taping, and I want to do something really special for her when she gets back. I just came here last month and I've been spending all my time writing a thesis to get a university fellowship—I'm afraid I've really been neglecting her.

The problem is that nothing I think of sounds like the right thing. I don't want it to just be a cliche, you know? I want it to be really different. I don't want to just buy her a bouquet, or chocolates, or something typical like that.

Anyways, if anyone has a suggestion, I'm all ears.

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Does she have a favorite food or anything?

I have never met another person who loves one food item so much. It's shrimp. The only thing is that she can summon shrimp—it's one of the powers she was given when she arrived here. Seems a little silly to prepare a meal of them when she can just make them appear whenever she wants.

Oh. Yeah, okay, I guess that wouldn't be anything special for her.

... What about activities? Like ... movies and stuff.

She loves reality shows and celebrity gossip.

[ Not Chidi's favorite things, admittedly. ]

I feel like doing a reality show here was sort of a dream come true for her.

So that's already covered too.

[ He would be like, negative help on that topic too admittedly, so he's a little relieved. ]

Well - okay, so what does she like about dating you?

We...

[ Chidi pauses; he almost said they complete each other, but that's too much of a cliche. ]

Well, I help make her better, and she helps make me better. We sort of...complement the parts of each other that have strengths.

[ That sounds like a metaphor for sex, but okay. ]

So why don't you do some of that? Extra that.

Honestly, you can never go wrong with flowers. But if you are trying to avoid being cliche, pick out flowers that are her favorites, or something that reminds you of her.

Second, what is her favorite food? Try to cook it for her. Have a nice dinner together.

That's what I usually recommend.

That's true, the classic way of doing things is classic for a reason. Hm.

Her favorite food is shrimp, for sure, but one of the powers she has here is that she can summon shrimp whenever she wants. Might be overkill to prepare some. Maybe something that goes well with shrimp?

You know what'd be really different? Not getting her anything. No one expects nothing as an apology gift!

I'm afraid that thinking it through and deciding on nothing will look a lot less thoughtful than it is.

I'm also afraid that your suggestion seems rather self-serving.

Self-serving how? I'm not getting anything out of it! Literally.

If you've been neglecting her, you need something that shows you're going to make more time for her. You said she could make shrimp appear, right? You could get her ingredients that go well with shrimp and make dinner together. Or get tickets to something, but not a play or a movie. Something where you could interact. Like admission to laser tag or paintball. Or dancing, whatever she likes.

...You're very good at this, you know that?

I feel as though laser tag is the sort of thing she'd absolutely love. Just as an activity in general. I also like the idea of getting a kit together for preparing the shrimp...maybe I could make kits for 3 different kinds. So she can choose.

Maybe? I just went with things I'd like to be honest.

Yeah, you could do risotto with shrimp, ginger and lemongrass grilled shrimp, shrimp stir-fry, butterflied baked shrimp, shrimp and goat cheese pizza, pasta with shrimp, shrimp and lemon wedges on rosemary skewers, so many things. It'd be easy to pick three.

Try a weekend getaway. Somewhere private, secluded. Just the two of you.

I like that idea. It can't be anywhere too far off or too expensive, but yes. Very good idea.

I wonder...do you know much about the world here to have any suggestions on where?

My partner and I spent a really nice weekend in a place called... the Catskills? It's in New York. Last winter, we rented a cabin from some website, it wasn't very expensive. I mean, I don't think it was, I'm not the greatest at knowing how the currency works here.

First off, this is incredibly sweet. I think no matter what you end up doing, you'll make her happy.

[ It's the thought that counts, etc. ]

I've always been a fan of small, personal gifts, though. Some of my favorite presents have more meaning behind them, like... is there anything she's really wanted lately? Or any particular activity she hasn't had time to do?

Hm...

I think Eleanor is more social than I am. She would probably enjoy a party of some sort. I don't really know details beyond that though. Maybe...something where the party helps other people. Like a fundraiser. Yes...

[ He's thinking it through while he's talking, and this is definitely giving him ideas. ]

Oh, sure. If you don't think that would be too big of a celebration.

[ Iris is more of a small, initimate gathering kind of girl, but she can appreciate someone who enjoys the grander things in life. ]

Fundraisers can be their own big beast - trust me, I've done my fair share - so maybe all the gifts can be donated to charity? Or the party itself can involve a volunteer activity, like making backpacks with food or packaging meals for refugees, that kind of thing?

Oh, cool, then I'm on TV with her!

I could do something for her while we're both here, if you want. Like, from you. Lovey dovey shit from afar! It'd be romantic as hell.

[ Chidi chuckles. ]

That's very thoughtful of you...but I think I'd like to do this myself. Do you often volunteer to do romantic things for others, though?

What can I say? I'm a thoughtful guy.

But, I mean, yeah? You've never helped a pal set up some grand gesture? It's more, uh, invisible facilitator than anything else. You know, a guy takes his special someone out on a walk, gets his buddy to gussy up his place, leave a note or a present behind, and get the hell outta dodge before they come back. Easy peasy.

Which one's she?

Oh...

[ He hadn't considered that someone might ask that. ]

Eleanor Shellstrop.

Do you know her?

Shared a few shots, yeah. Ya know this goes to everybody.

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