15. No Raisin, Really

[continuousgroaning]

WHY WOULD YOU PUT RAISINS??? ON A BURGER??????

and why am i thinking of puns involving raisins because i want to try this and see if even my powers can make it taste okay?

Comments

[quickfingers]

i

i...

this isn't right

[continuousgroaning]

i guess you could say

there's no raisin for it to exist

[quickfingers]

this makes my heart shrivel up
and my stomach

wouldn't it be chewy? burgers shouldn't be that kinda chewy

[continuousgroaning]

the raisin burger and raisin beans are just. a whole combination of unappetizing. raisins are supposed to be good on pork though

see, that's a good point. the taste might be fine thanks to my powers but there's no way to make the texture more appealing

[quickfingers]

ugh now it just looks like ants in the food
I can't, I'm out, I' m done

there isn't even any distribution logic? that burger's a mess.

[huetrooper]

that looks awful but I'd probs still eat it. because I take risks and live life on the edge.

[continuousgroaning]

my superpower is that I can make anything taste good as long as I follow a recipe

but i feel like this is a bit much even for that

[am_i_a_monster]

To sell California raisins to burger lovers?
To get drunk without anyone knowing - maybe the raisins have been soaked in booze?

I don't really know. I've been staring at that picture and thinking of all the raisin recipes I know. None of them are for burgers.

Maybe you could call it 'a raisin the bun' burger.

[continuousgroaning]

Any reason I can think of for this to exist just... doesn't add up. It's flawed raisin-ing.

Or Raisin Hell. That name seems the most appropriate.

[am_i_a_monster]

I guess there's no raisin for the raisins.

People might expect that to be spicy.

[continuousgroaning]

And if I went that route I'm not sure even my powers could make spicy raisins taste good. I don't think the sweetness of raisins would be enough to cut spiciness unless it was, like, bell peppers. And those aren't even spicy.

[am_i_a_monster]

You call it Raisin A Little Hell, and make it not very spicy.

video

[burlyboy]

I'd try it!

video

[continuousgroaning]

A willing test subject? I have a raisin to make it now.

[burlyboy]

Hah! You sure do, kid. Don't you have that special power? You can make anything taste good. We should make a game out of it.

[continuousgroaning]

I do, but I'm not sure if I'm going to like it nonetheless. It's just going to seem off to me, no matter what. But I could be surprised, too. I need to have more adventure in my life. ... not that eating a raisin burger is much of an adventure, but still.

[burlyboy]

I bet you'll surprise yourself! That sort of, uh, culinary innovation is important, that's what I've always said.

[ A beat. ]

I mean, you've seen my sandwiches.

[ If it can fit between two slices of bread, Magnus will make it into a sandwich. It's not a good thing. ]

text; un: k-2so

[reexamined]

I like this. I think I would like to make this.

[continuousgroaning]

are you going to smash it for your bluetube channel afterward?

[reexamined]

The channels is on a hiatus at the moment. But I could, I suppose. I was thinking more of trying to eat it.

[continuousgroaning]

Oh! well you're welcome to try. i won't touch it myself but i'll gladly cook it for anyone who's feeling adventrous

[ Video ]

[pidgewidgeon]

[ Pidge just... stares a moment at the picture for a minute in abject horror. The sight just isn't one she can process, until finally she just says: ]

That's disgusting.

[ Video ]

[continuousgroaning]

And yet I have two volunteers who are still willing to try it. I guess someone out there will try anything. And the fact that this ad was made in the first place thought that a raisin burger sounded good enough to try and sell.

[pidgewidgeon]

I'd probably eat it too if you put it in front of me to be honest. Your power would probably make it tolerable even though the idea itself is just revolting.

[ Pidge pauses for a moment ]

Although I think the raisins in the baked beans is the one that's grossing me out the most.

[continuousgroaning]

Uh-huh. I wouldn't touch it myself, but I guess my powers would be a boon. It almost seems unfair for me to make it in that case, though- I'd never know if it really WAS good or if it was my abilities.

The texture of that is what would get me, I think. Beans are good, raisins are good, but not in the same pot.