maskormenace | 001

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hello im new here
my name is jason

and i think i have superpowers. its not the first time i thought ive had superpowers but the last time i didnt actually have them i was just really tripped out and floating in a public swimming pool.

i wasnt actually flying

but i dont think i am this time.

i think this is a prank. or im on a reality show, like the greatest show ever made, celebrity big brother. only cooler.

either way theyre my powers now and you cant have them back!

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Well met, Jason
It is my pleasure to inform thee that both of thy guesses are correct
This is both an elaborate reality television show, and thou hast been granted powers to continue whatever role thou takest within it
But take heart, friend, everything within this show is also real, and they come with real consequences

hello mysterious person
yes, i knew it! i knew this was a reality show. im gonna be on tv! again!

that sucks. man why does everything have rules, why cant we just do whatever we want without any consequences?

Because the show we appeareth on is called "Society"
It is for an audience of only one, or perhaps four, by a certain reckoning
We are stolen by Fate's children only for their own entertainment

Do thy best, Jason, not to make a bigger mess than we already have

Hey man!

[look there's a rock guy waving at you]

Nah, it's a real thing. Although I understand that the porter sometimes changes the powers down the road, but not to worry, you'll probably end up with something even cooler!

[ wow, guy made of rocks!? ]

so if youre a part of the fantastic four i have an important question for you.
do you know the invisible woman and does she really look like jessica alba when shes not invisible?

Er, I don't reckon I am though bro? So that might be too hard a question to answer, given I don't know any invisible women. You wouldn't have an easier one, would you?

but arent you the thing? you know, regular guy who had an accident with radiation in space and grew a bunch of rocks all over his skin and there was another guy who could set himself on fire

and the invisible woman is played by jessica alba whos like the hottest woman alive

but not as hot as ariana grande

Nah, bro. I'm Korg and I'm a Kronan. We're a stone species from the planet Ria.

Hottest woman alive, really? So does she set herself on fire as well?

lol omg one time i thought i had magical water bending powrs and actually i'd just falen asleep on a lawn sprinkler

no way!

that happened to me too once
only the lawn was actually a lake and the sprinkler was a boat with a bunch of holes leaking water inside of it

haha m8 i hope one of ur powers included bein able to swim

only way to be sure is to test them out. be brave

Edited (html) 2018-11-14 00:38 (UTC)

i

i think i already did. either that or someone really did not want to talk to me.

niiiice what can you do

How marvelous! What sorts of powers do you have?
I'm afraid I wasn't given any, but I'm always excited to hear about what other people receive!

you werent? i thought everyone got them. i thought that was part of the game

i can make people get into dance offs, and make molotov cocktails. oh and i can send people to florida. which i already did.

So did I but... when they gave me the sheet, it didn't look like anything to me. I suppose there has to be a fluke every once in a while.

But...you can send people to Florida? So can the porters! Perhaps they gave you some of their power!

[Oh, she's missed you buddy.]

I knew you would make it here.. Chidi is here too- haven't seen Tahani, Michael, or Janet yet though.

So what kind of powers do you have?

hey, you know all the names of my friends. we must have really close friends.

[ ooooooooh wait ]

wait, eleanor? you and chidi are here?? no way, this is great!

i can turn bottles into molotovs. i didnt need a super power to do that before but now i only need to think about it and BOOM.

and start flash mob dance offs

and i think i mightve just sent someone to a swamp in florida? either that or they knew how to teleport on their own and went to the exact place i was telling them about

There you go.

Why does everyone else have better powers than I do? I still can't say fork here, it's such motherforking bullshirt.

But I CAN summon all the shrimp I can eat so there's that.

I'm sure they'll be fine in Florida. I mean...yeah, I'm sure they'll be fine, don't worry about it.

that sucks man! its okay, i have powers cool enough for the both of us.

can you summon a giant shrimp??

yeah its totally safe! as long as they watch where they step and dont touch any alligators they find in the toilets its not a big deal!

I summoned a bunch of little shrimp so a big one shouldn't be too hard. I don't really get a lot of control over it- one time I made it rain tiny live shrimp on someone but in my defense, he was setting the curtains on fire.

[Cause that makes it ok and honestly, it's a lot less petty than she used to be. Normally, she would have stuffed shrimp into someone's underwear drawer to let it go bad.]

That's the spirit! Where are you living? Chidi and I are in Florida. Reminds me a lot of Arizona, in so many ways.

why were they setting the curtains on fire?

oh right i'm in this one place
called maurtia falls

ive had like two people try and mug me already
its like im back home in jacksonville

the second one is the one i sent away
it was pretty crazy

It's a long story. The guy was a real ash-hole though.

I'll meet you there and show you around and fill you in. Chidi is writing but I let him know you're here so maybe he'll join us later.

Maybe we can find a Buffalo Wild Wings, somewhere with beer at least.

Pretty sure no one here is going to try taking them back.

[His poor little medic heart worries about that "trip" you mentioned, though.]

But uh...good luck with them?

hey thanks man

a wise old man said a long time ago
with great power comes great responsibility

i may not possess the abilities of a spider
but i know a thing or two about responsibility. i was the leader of a dance crew for three years running and we almost placed third in of the twelve competitions we were a part of in that time! and nobody even got arrested that night.

it was a good night.

Or with great responsibility comes a great need to take a nap...[Nico. He'd have to thank Nico for that one.]

That...[A dance crew was not the same thing, he wanted to argue.] is a good point. You have to be responsible to be a leader.

But uh, why would you have to even worry about being arrested with a competition?

careful
you get too attached to them, and they might be.

taken away, i mean. nothing's permanent.

well then i would just use them on them
and they wouldnt be able to catch me

Do you see any cameras around that don't belong to the paparazzi? This is all real.

Also, you missed the boat on reality shows. My Nonah Nightmare just wrapped up.

No one is coming for your powers, sweetie.

...Unless their power is the ability to steal other powers. I haven't heard of that before.

ive been on a reality show since i was ported in several actually reality show on a reality show??? thats a little wild i think this might be real whats ur powers?

What if you could trade powers and someone had way better powers than you though

I'm not trying to show my hand or anything but my powers are P R ETT Y impressive

u dont think ur flying or dont think ur tripping
cuz if u can rly fly now dude then u gotta try both at least once

nah man i cant fly
b pretty dope if i could though

im also not tripping
at least i dont think i am

maybe i am?
maybe none of this is real

r u real?

then what can u do
& of course im real
look

[ He turns the video on, validating his existence. ]

See?

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