video 💀

[glowsferatu]

[ Since Ken Kaneki ported out and left his holdings with Aegis Force, it's become a part of their regular duties to see to upkeep. And so, the Psychopomp appears on video, in the yard outside the chicken coop, amidst an accompaniment of clucks and squawks. There's chicken feed filling their free hand, which seems to have excited the chickens a lot. ]

It hath been curious, mine existence among the living these past months. The things one may not even have considered in the Beyond, but are crucial on this land. Like the nourishment of thy bellies, and how thy existence demandeth such requirements for the continuance of life itself.

[ They move to scatter the feed, but think better of it at the last second, thoroughly distracted by making this video. The chickens are definitely agitated, one even jumping into frame to snap at their glove. ]

I have been given opportunity to try a great many things since Fate bound me here, animal husbandry being only the soonest of these. In that is a curious symbiosis, to feed now that in the future, thou also may be fed. It is a particularly vicious one at that, giving life only to later take it for thine own sake. And yet, it is a part of the natural order. The taken and begetting of life, all in one fell swoop.

[ They move to scatter the feed again, but another thought comes to mind. The chickens are fucking livid, their bawks nearly drowning out the Psychopomp's incessant droning on. ]

And yet-- [ Another chicken leaps up at their hand, this time latching onto it with her beak. ] Hey! [ Another leaps up after it, and another, until they've weighed down the one arm. And then, five more come after the Psychopomp from the front. ] Hey! Fuck! [ They tumble over backward, dropping their comm on the ground. ]

Stop it! Get off of me, you undisciplined cluckbeasts! HEY!

[ One of the hens wanders on screen, looking down at the communicator. After a few inquisitive clucks, they peck at the screen a couple times, and the feed cuts. ]

Comments

[VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

...You know, people don't believe me when I say chickens are jerks. I'm just gonna show them this as proof going forward.

[VIDEO]

[glowsferatu]

[ Psychopomp's mask looks a little crooked, and stray feathers are all over. They can't decide whether what just happened is worse than getting a response to it or not. ]

This was not meant to be posted.

Re: [VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oh no, it's cool, I totally get you. A month ago I broadcasted myself rocking out to some choice music and then I got glued to the floor. I don't plan on submitting this to the Majority Report or something.

This just validates "Chickens are Dicks" stance.

I had to change it from "Chickens are Cocks" because.

I mean.

Obviously.

audio;

[dragony]

Mind your language, little bird.

audio;

[glowsferatu]

Fuck off.

[ Especially because Ruka's right. That whole outburst was entirely too telling, but it might be too late to delete the video. ]

[dragony]

It seems the hens aren't the only ones with their feathers ruffled. [ oh she is LIVING. this is great. she is trying SO HARD not to laugh. SORRY NOT SORRY KANAYA. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. ] But then, they're not the only ones fit to roast, are they? I suppose it's only natural.

[permavideo]

[iliveidie]

I've heard tale of chickens being vicious beasts but thought it was just someone overembellishing their stories.

[glowsferatu]

It would seem we now have video proof of such unbridled incivility among their species, as I have been informed.

[ Sounds like Kasia's been talking to Darin. Well guess who's getting this job next time! ]

[iliveidie]

[Nope, Cayde's stories about the Colonel.]

I've certainly never witnessed it myself before now. I always just thought them cute and fluffy.

private video

[queenofseers]

[ Cassandra is not a person who is amused often. That said, she's got a bit of a look resembling amusement on her face now. ]

You're going to have a hard time keeping the mask up if you keep getting attacked by chickens, you know.

private video

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya has too many other conversations going on to take her mask off, but she at least lets Psychopomp's voice slip through the filter. ]

No shit, I mightn't have noticed without the warning! I don't even know how this was posted, I never let anything go to the Network on the first take.

private video

[queenofseers]

The first take? You practice? Even I don't do that, and I used to have to edit my own shit.

[ She pauses. Hell. ]

Fuck, like I'd even remember how to do that now.

Video

[lootsnshoots]

Wait, we got chickens?!?!?!? When????

Video

[glowsferatu]

With the release of Ken Kaneki from his Theft. Hast thou not consulted the latest duty roster? Mayhaps it would be preferable if this task fell to thee.

Video

[lootsnshoots]

Uhhh nope can't say that I have. ... Do you always? Talk like that?

video.

[goldtoxicity]

Oof. Death by chicken'd.

video.

[glowsferatu]

A chickening unto Death, even.

[video]

[viciousmaukery]

[After a fit of cackling, Molly manages to get enough breath to ask:] Gotten those chickens under control just yet?

[video]

[glowsferatu]

[ They gesture to the background, and behind them Molly will see that the entire bag of feed has been poured out on the ground. The hens have set upon the pile in a voracious swarm, it's a terrible sight. ]

[viciousmaukery]

[Propping his chin up on his hand with a little smirk:] And how long do you think that bag is going to last them?

voice;

[plentystrong]

Uhhhh... what did I just watch?

voice;

[glowsferatu]

A swarm most fowl. [ They consider leaving it at that, but as tribute to the farm's former owner, they could probably fit another pun in there. ] They are dangerous creatures, and it is best to not draw their ire from the start. Otherwise, any attempt to appease them will be found too poultry.

voice;

[plentystrong]

Okay, you're obviously fine.

text; all the better to be laughing as she types

[cannotrest]

You can't just tease them like that!

text; so she can pout all she likes even with the mask on

[glowsferatu]

To tease was not in my intention. This merely was...a misstep.