two. video. id: the Outsider, cw talk of death

[crypdick]

[ The Outsider is out back behind a restaurant in Jeopardy, sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall. And there are flies. Lots of flies. Flies buzz around the area and around his head, and he doesn't twitch or blink his deep, pitch black eyes. ]

If this world ends, will you regret what you have done here? If it doesn't, will you have to live with what you've done? Or perhaps, you will live with what you didn't do. Do you sit on the sidelines, assuming this world has nothing to do with you since it's not your own? Or do you use this as an opportunity to build a new life while you can?

You could be sent away at any moment, but then again - how's that so different from having to live as if you could die at any moment? If that never stopped you - and won't now - then why care?

[ A fly lands on his cheek.]

I'm surprised at how few deaths there have been among you, but perhaps it's pointless if the one you're killing just comes back. But if death doesn't matter, why bother to mourn? Some of you will get mourned, at least. There's always the ones whose deaths are met with relief and a wish they'd stay gone, aren't there?

Comments

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[monster_san]

I try not to assume the apocalypse is happening until I see credible indications of it.

As for myself, I am here now, and I have friends who are very important to me. This world is not my home, but I must live my life here as best I can. It's only sensible to care about what's around me. We're in this situation together.

[and now, an important question.]

You seem to have an infestation. Has that restaurant had health inspectors there recently?

Text;

[crypdick]

Everyone is always quick to claim doomsday aren't they?

[ He knows it's being rumoured and hence the comment but he isn't going to bother defending it either. A possibility, only a possibility. ]

So would you say you're satisfied with your life here?

Garbage attracts flies, it's the way of things, Fuu.

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[golisolation]

[All that introspective thought and philosophical bullshit's all well and good, but it's definitely not Guzma's jam. Not that he doesn't have his regrets, and other such deeper negative emotions fueling him. Nah, he's got tons!

But the thing that catches him, the one thing that really sticks out and is something that he didn't know is—]

—wait, what's that about death not being permanent? How the fuck?

[Eloquent as ever, Guzma.]

[crypdick]

I've spoken to at least two after they died very publicly. I hear it's common.

video;

[the_horror]

[Seeing as four of his siblings have ported out recently, this grabs his attention so easy. He's in his room in their apartment, head tilted and watching for a moment.]

Mourning is part of the process. It helps, in a way. People each have different reasons to feel sad or upset for losing someone. Even if they come back, though they might not. It's tough, so having moments to mourn helps.

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[crypdick]

[ If the Outsider were home he'd just pop over to Ben and talk there but as is, he's spending time with the flies. Probably for the best. ]

Assume the worst, and react for that? That, at least, would make some sort of sense.

[ He considers this a moment. And, because he has no tact, asks a different question. ]

Did they mourn you?

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[nightmarist]

Kind of weird to assume death doesn't matter just because it's not permanent.

[crypdick]

If it does still matter, you would know, wouldn't you?

I wonder, what makes death death?

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[melodramagic]

Death does matter. It can change a person.

[crypdick]

That, at least, is something I know very well. But don't you think it depends on the death?

voice;

[plentystrong]

Well, that got depressing fast. What's the occasion?

Voice;

[crypdick]

If there was one, what do you guess it would be?

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[dragony]

[ ... ]

Not all death is announced. Not all the dead return.

But, even if the ones who die revive, or the ones who exPort come back, return doesn't erase the pain of loss. A healed wound usually leaves a scar, after all.

Then again, sometimes it takes more than death for a being to truly perish. Is that the case for you?

[ Between the eyes and the flies, he could well be a talking corpse. ]

Re: text

[crypdick]

Then it's a gamble. The baited anticipation in the days following, waiting to see if this time it will stick.

There is a knife that killed me once and could have been used to kill me again, before. But if you're planning to slit my throat in this world, you can use any blade.

[ He'll keep the surprise that would result to himself, though. ]

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[psychophilia]

Ya need some bug spray over there?

[crypdick]

Now why would I need that?

text; forward dated to when he gets back

[craftpunk]

Heh.

Personally? I find it's important to live like your life depends on it. There's nothing worse than barely living. If you've done that, you know there's no other choice than to live selfishly.

[crypdick]

Hello, Woden. I hear that many will be disappointed to see you.

Living selfishly makes enemies.

[stlg13bomber]

Are you feeling okay, Mr. Outsider?

[That's kinda dark and he's worried about you.]

[crypdick]

I'm as well as I ever am, Carter. Have you been adjusting?

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[am_i_a_monster]

There's something on your face. Right about here.

[Abigail points to her own cheek and then becomes more serious.]

You build a new life while you can and you find ways to live with what you've done.

Living as if you could die changes you. It makes you do everything you can to stay alive, even if it's just for a little while. Here, it's different. Because there's nothing specific that we can do to stay here longer.

People mourn the loss of the person they knew. Even if they come back from the dead, they'll be changed.

Why are you surprised? Are you planning on killing?

[crypdick]

[ The Outsider lazily brushes the fly off his cheek. ]

True, there are ways to escape some deaths or extend your life. Evidently the Porter is unknowable - or so they say.

[ He folds his arms, frowning ever so slightly. ]

But no, I don't plan on taking lives. People make choices, people take action - the dead do nothing. What people do when they are alive is far more fascinating to gamble with.

[ At least by his own hands. ]

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[obediences]

[ The response, when it comes, is brief. But it's disproportionate to how long Luther's been chewing over this post, and what the words might mean for his family. Some of their reluctance to settle in here. ]

Good points.

Voice;

[crypdick]

Are they?

[ If agreement had been what he was going for, he might have said thank you and left it at that. ]

What points do you think I was making?

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[knaval]

You're talking from the perspective of the person doing the killing. Right?

[when riptide did his own murder, getaway didn't stay dead, but he sure did port out not long after it. he doesn't mention this, though. he's at least aware enough to know his own perspective on it all is a little... warped after 3 million years at war.]

[crypdick]

A man chooses to kill another because he was in his way. A woman chooses to kill as a profession. A man chooses not to kill despite every reason in the world to. A man kills his lover to retake reality.

All perspectives, none of them mine. But I do know what it's like to be the one killed.

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[deadlycurves]

[Diego's sat at his desk in his room, having only shortly appeared here again and learned he lost an entire freaking day, somehow. He isn't thrilled about it, but whatever. He's never thrilled about anything in this place. He doesn't even usually pay much mind to this network, he doesn't care for making friends or pretending he has any will to be here, but... some of the messages that get broadcast through it touch topics he can't quite ignore.] I'd like my life to stop being defined by Apocalypses, I know that. [There's a soft scoff at that.] Never been a 'sit on the sidelines' kinda guy, though. Can't say I'd do that no matter where I am, even if where I am is the last place I wanna be. I'll do what I always do and save the lives I can, regardless. [After all, he's had his entire life to be told that's what he was meant for, why wouldn't he do that? Even now. Even here.] But I don't really plan on getting too comfortable here. Because nothing about this place is permanent. [A beat.] I guess nothing is, not really, but you know what I mean. Death always matters. I don't give a shit that it doesn't stick here for us, it always matters. Who knows, maybe there's a limit to it, maybe you hit death number seven and they just keep you dead. And even if there isn't, how many deaths do you think a person can survive before they crack? No way it's good for you, physically or mentally, to withstand something like that. To remember the moment of it. To know you died and still stand here alive in the same fucking breath, that's bound to fuck with people's heads, don't you think? And if people want to mourn their non-sticking-deaths or that of the people in their lives, let 'em. Don't we already have enough of our agency stolen from us just by being here?

voice;

[crypdick]

I do remember the moment of it, actually. But I wasn't revived by little machines in my blood.

[ The Outsider drops that little nugget before smoothly shifting gears to address that last point, which he finds intriguing.]

You are suggesting the act of mourning becomes a choice. Perhaps it always was, but in a place like this that choice is given weight.

I wonder, what would the ones mourned feel, when they return? Would you choose to stop, as the deceased is no longer, or continue until the emotion is drained from you?