video.

[goldtoxicity]

Hey, so I've got a night off coming and I was thinking it might be cool to get a group of people to do like, I dunno, lasertag or something?

[ It's pretty clear Josh was doing - something when he turned a post on, this was a whim more than anything. He's leaning his head heavily in one hand while he skims a test result in front of him. Which is kind of a pointless thing for a biokinetic, but he can't be everywhere and sometimes people want second opinions. And no amount of "okay but I don't need this" ever gets through to anybody. The first verse is mostly mumbled into his hand as he shifts focus, the music starting faint and raising slowly. ]

Well, I don't mind being alone
No, no
I'm not afraid of what enters my mind
When I'm solo
I'm fully capable of
Taking advantage of this time
No, I don't mind
Being alone with my thoughts
Oh, oh, I'm totally fine!
Alone with my thoughts

Check it! [ He tosses them in the air, folding his arms behind his head. His feet come up and drop onto the desk with a thump and he rocks back, balancing the chair on it's hind legs. ]

Life is so sweet when you take it light
Nothing can go wrong when the sun is bright
That reminds me that I barely passed bio in school
That's why I couldn't save Hydro when he drowned in the pool

[ There's a sharp record scratch. Josh leans a little too far back, arms windmilling wildly as the chairlegs slips and he goes down hard, disappearing out of frame. rocks back too far. The music slowly returns, Josh pulls himself back up by the ledge of his desk, a hand to his head.]

That's a bad thought
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I don't like that thought
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Seriously, chill out!

[ He sits up, slapping his hands to his cheeks and shoving a smile onto his face. Fresh air, that's what he needs. This room is way too stuffy, and he's been in here way too long, so instead of doing that he'll just go ahead and open the window. He grabs the device - but then thinks better of it, setting it down instead. The window now open, the curtains fluttering in the breeze, he takes in a deep breath and steps back. ]

Much better.

The breeze in my hair, everything is free!
Nothing wrong with you, [ a gesture towards the camera, a beaming smile. everything is fine! fine. seriously it's fine, he turns to start to head back to his desk. ] nothing wrong with me!
[ except his expression falls a few steps away. Josh scrubs a hand down his face. ]
Honestly I probably deserve to go to hell.
Am I always going to be this unwell?
Damnit - [ his expression twists, both hands dropping and hanging at his sides. he drops into his chair. ] that's another bad thought!
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Thought bubbles in my mind
Popping thought bubbles from time to time.

I used to like guacamole, now I don't like guacamole
What if I stop liking other things I like?
Like, what if I stopped liking my friends?
If it worked on guacamole, it could work on my friends!

[ The rest of the folders hit the ground as he sweeps an arm across the table to clear it, sitting heavily down on his chair with his head in his hands. Something sounds like it breaks as it hits the floor. The lights in the room flicker, but a spotlight flicks on in the darkness. ]

And now these thoughts are tapping me on the shoulder
I'm like "One second bro, I'll be right over"

[ he swings an arm out. It's - not gold and shiny, the entire hand is obsidian black. bubbles of it slowly spreading up through the gold. He glances at it with disgust and drops his hand, only for it to seemingly come up as if it has a life of his own and sock him in the face. Once again knocking him off of chair.

He pops back into frame, his golden hand gripping the other one. Out he goes again. ]

And now the thought and I are fighting in a bar
And I can't beat the thought because he's super swole!
Cause the thought hits the gym more than I do!
If I can't even hit the gym, how will I ever be a good person?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

[ As if thrown he lands back in his (suddenly upright again) chair, holding his hand away from his body as if it's diseased. ]

Gotta dial back these dark thoughts!

[ no good. the band breaks free and slams into his face. His whole form changes, gold shifting to a metallic lead. ]

Dark like Edgar Allen Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe, Poe!
Oh, these thoughts
Making me feel so low low low low low low
It'd be better if I just just pack a bag and
go, go, go, go, go, go, go
But I can't be alone... with my thoughts

[ the music dies out. josh scrubs a hand across his face again, glancing down at his hands, and blows out a long sigh. There's a long, long, awkward pause.

When he pulls his face out of his hands, he's smiling again. Though its significantly more strained than before. His gaze drops to his hands, he pulls his sleeves up to see how far it's gone and - yeah, cool, all the way - then sighs and sags back in his hair. ]

Uh...

You know what? Nevermind. Happy hour in ten? It's five o'clock somewhere, right. Somebody pick the bar and drinks are on me.

Comments

Video

[helpdesk_hero]

Still not legal to drink for another [checks watch] three-ish weeks. But I'll pay for some of the drinks for you.

And seriously? We both know I'm dogged enough that even if you tried to push me away, I'd be right back. Like the most annoying boomerang.

video -> audio

[goldtoxicity]

I dunno, dude.

[ he cards his fingers through his hair. he's stuck in the wrong mode and he doesn't feel like anyone looking at him, so he flips to audio while he tries to sort it out. ]

I'm pretty good at pissing people off.

[helpdesk_hero]

And I'm not?

[He does switch to audio as well, best to meet his friend on an equal level.]

You know you can talk to me if you want, right?

[goldtoxicity]

[ he's about to say 'i'm fine' but 'i'm fine' sounds petty bullshit after he just did a song about how he cant sit alone with his thoughts. ]

I've just done a lot of stuff that's hard to think about sometimes. Pretty sure that's the baggage of being a highschool dropout.

[helpdesk_hero]

['I'm fine' ALWAYS sounds like bullshit.]

No, Josh. I'm pretty sure your baggage isn't part of the standard high school dropout experience.

[goldtoxicity]

You sure? An existential crisis every other week sounds standard to me.

[helpdesk_hero]

Just in modern US society. Which is really sad and a statement upon the culture. Also, most high school dropouts don't regrow organs for other people.

[goldtoxicity]

Hey, maybe they're into helping out the school nurse at some freaky super science school.

[gigue]

[Well this is a song Vanya could have written herself. Not as well, obviously, but hey maybe that's a product of her own bad thoughts. She watches silently, cringing through most of it - not in sympathy, but because everything he says feels agonizingly familiar.]

You okay?

[Well that sounds dumb out loud, doesn't it? She grimaces.] I mean you were just - falling, a lot.

[goldtoxicity]

Oh, cool, hi Vanya.

[ he scubs a hand down his face. ]

I'm good. Nothing like a good punch in the face to shake off that paperwork boredom.

[gigue]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to - I can't imagine you wanted anyone to see that. [She'd probably be mortified. Probably.]

...I can buy you a drink? [That feels like a suitable apology, sort of, for listening to a song that she resonates way too much with.]

[goldtoxicity]

No, no, seriously it's cool.

[ it's sort of not, there's a lot of stuff that he'd prefer never to think or talk about ever again bubbling around in his head now. ]

A drink sounds awesome.

[gigue]

[He is much more charismatic about brushing things off than she is, so she almost believes him.]

I still don't really...know a whole lot of places, so if you've got somewhere you like, I can. Meet you there?

[goldtoxicity]

Sure.

[ his usual scene is the club scene. loud, pulse pounding music that doesn't let you think... but he really doesn't think that's her scene. ]

There's a nice little pub not too far from here. I'll send you the address.

[gigue]

[That is incredibly not her scene, and if she knew he was making an effort to avoid it, she'd be ridiculously grateful.]

Cool. Um - I'll head over, it might take a minute. [How much does she hate the porters? A lot.]

[fridgeflower]

Wow. That was a lot.

You pick a bar yet?

[goldtoxicity]

Yeah, I can't remember the name but I'll send you the address.

[ Scrubbing a hand down his face, annnd switching to audio. ]

[fridgeflower]

Cool.

Have you... Uh. Has it worn off?

[goldtoxicity]

[ He blows out a breath. ]

Kind of. Not fully. Um...

[ He's really got to get that control back. ]

Distract me?

[fridgeflower]

Sounds dangerous.

[ So, y'know... ]

Okay.

Are you at work right now?

[goldtoxicity]

Yeah. Just filing some paperwork.

[ so, yes, but. ]

[fridgeflower]

Did anybody notice your performance? Or is it, like... Are people just magically ignoring you?

[ Anyway... ] Are you gonna leave?

Audio

[by_candlelight]

Hey, so I'm actually planning an event for young imPorts for next month, so if you want I can put a vote in for laser tag? Or if you aren't interested in a whole event, just know I love to shoot things and am always down for laser tag. Always.

Audio

[goldtoxicity]

That sounds great, actually! Both the group thing and the, like, just a lasertag buddy. I haven't played in forever.

Re: Audio

[by_candlelight]

Awesome! Hit me up whenever! I can work things into my schedule pretty easily as long as it's not during school hours.

I'll be posting a notice about it when I have the youth imports group thing set up, so keep an eye out for that!