[Video] An accidental, personal rant

[mysterioisthetruth]

[warning: threads could potentially contain manipulation, emotional abuse, violence]

[In complete rejection of the vulnerability within himself - the sadness and weakness that he felt his unwanted shadow version had projected - Beck has become more unstable, spurred on by the feeling of lacking control. He's been working with his tech and while frantically pushing buttons, he's accidentally switched on to broadcast.]

Okay, let's do this one more time...

[He's speaking to the side, at something not seen by the camera. His voice is tense.]

It isn't enough that you made me feel like I was this small.

[His fingers close down to nothingness.]

No, not even that small. That I didn't exist.

Or that it felt like I was dead and gone and still should only be spoken about as a waste of space.

No. No, no no...

[He shakes his head, grimacing and the tension is starting to boil up and over.]

No, now you have to bring that into it--

[He points at something again out of camera range.]

Something that really, really shouldn't exist. I'm past that. I'm better than that. Despite your best efforts to keep me invisible, I'm not. People see me. People know who I am, for better or... for worse.

[He clenches his jaw at those words, fists forming at his sides.]

I'm noticed. That's what's important here.

Right? Right?

[His voice is rising, passionately angry.]

I am a known entity. I am Mysterio!

[He makes a grand sweeping gesture and his formerly regular clothing instantly transforms and reveals he's actually wearing his flashy hero suit.]

This is who I am now. It's who I'm meant to be - and you are not going to stop me. Not by your words. Not by your memory. Nothing you can do can stop me.

[He's glaring angrily past the camera then he raises his hands, green energy forming around them. His voice is quieter but now deadly.]

I should have killed you in more than just a story.

[And he lets the energy flash across the room in a bright, destructive blast. The shock of it is enough to jar the device and cut off the feed.]

Comments

Private forever

[mysterioisthetruth]

[There's a long moment of silence before there's any reply. Why is Peter calling him? He doesn't realise at first that he'd accidentally sent live video to the entire network. Then it hits him... Shit. And he grabs up the device to reply. While he's attempting to keep his composure, it's obviously he's rattled and the wall behind him is smoking with rubble.]

What did you see?

[made_up_names]

[ Yeah, congrats on that one, Beck. Peter, in turn, hasn't quite pieced together that this was an accidental video. He's just seeing a frankly unhinged rant and trying to figure out what the hell he should do about it. (Does Spider-Man step in here? God, he hopes not.) ]

All of it? You were talking to someone. I don't know who.

[ But he can guess. ]

[mysterioisthetruth]

It's just....

[His jaw sets; think fast.]

Just a little show I'm putting on, Nothing to worry about.

[That's totally unconvincing. In his current distraught state he can't gather up his most convincing performance. Or even a good lie.]

[made_up_names]

[ There's not even a hint that Peter is convinced here. Even if Beck weren't doing a terrible job at lying - and he is - Peter has additional context. ]

That wasn't a show. I might not know how I feel about you right now, but I definitely know you by now.

[mysterioisthetruth]

...

Fine.

But it wasn't mean for anyone to see.

My own... personal therapy, you could say.

[Which... seems to have gotten out of control with real damage.]

[made_up_names]

[ No kidding. Peter's gaze flicks to the smoking remains of the wall. ]

I think you need a real therapist.

[ He tries to say that as gently and kindly as he can. ]

[mysterioisthetruth]

I have David.

[made_up_names]

And he's probably doing a great job. I think David's amazing.

But I think you need more help than just him, if that's any indication.

[mysterioisthetruth]

No. It's enough I've told you and him some things about my past.

[Enough that both Peter and David will likely realise this is mostly about Beck's father and his own shadow.]

cw: discussion of abuse

[made_up_names]

[ Oh yeah. There's ... not so much a moment of realization here as much as he just kind of lets his acceptance of it fall into place. ]

And that's what this is about. What he did to you.

Same warning, likely to continue on in the conversation

[mysterioisthetruth]

There was an ... incident recently.

... You talked to him didn't you? The kid.

[His shadow had mentioned it, even if Peter had avoided direct contact with Beck. Ice-cream and talking movies with a nice older boy...]

The one pretending to be me.

[So much denial.]

[made_up_names]

The one who was you in some way. Yeah. He told me a lot.

[ Look, if he'd only met one shadow? That would be one thing. But he'd met Marco's too. ]

[mysterioisthetruth]

... Great.

[He makes a face and shakes his head.]

But fine... This was about my father, who didn't even have the good sense to get lost in the Blip. You know, if the Avengers were real heroes, they'd have taken away all the people who deserve it.

[made_up_names]

[ Peter bows his head a little. ]

They can't get to everyone. That's part of why I got started in the first place. And why I keep going.

[mysterioisthetruth]

I'm not blaming you, Peter. This wasn't your responsibility.

[made_up_names]

Right. I've got limits. You can't reasonably expect that from me.

So why do you expect it from them?

[mysterioisthetruth]

I... I just...

[He makes a frustrated sound and clenches his fist, starting to ramble.]

People just expect heroes to make everything better, don't they? And I know that's not plausible but expectations are there to either be met and exceeded or you get disappointment - and haven't we all had enough disappointments?

[made_up_names]

[ He just sort of gestures, helplessly. Not disagreeing. ]

If you're saying you're different, you're wrong.

[mysterioisthetruth]

I tried very hard to give the people what they wanted. A hero to look up to and believe in. I put on the greatest show and it would have gone perfectly - if Spider-Man hadn't interfered.

You need to keep that ridiculous arachnid under control, Peter.

[made_up_names]

[ That distinction isn't new, necessarily, but the way Beck says it now makes Peter's hair stand on end. Something's changed, hasn't it? He instinctively doesn't like it. ]

I'm saying you'd have failed there too. I - look, nobody could do it exactly right. The only way Tony got there was by dying.

[mysterioisthetruth]

But isn't that also the way I did it?

You did kill me, didn't you? I seem to recall... that being the endgame.

[Even if he didn't quite live through it himself, being brought here just as the end, contingencies already in place.]

[made_up_names]

I didn't -

[ He cuts himself off, unable to fully deny it. ]

That can't have been what you intended to do.

[mysterioisthetruth]

What? Die the hero?

[Or fake it, at least. Even he's not sure right now with how muddy and confused his mind currently is.]

Just like Tony Stark.

And look how beloved he became in death.

It would be a fitting conclusion, wouldn't it?

Even my father would have had to admit I became somebody worthy of notice.

cw: discussion of abuse, suicide

[made_up_names]

[ He's in over his head.

That's something he should have realized much earlier - had sort of realized when everything had come to a boil a month and a half ago. He'd understood then that he couldn't help Beck, and that taking that responsibility was actively hurting him. But this is the first time he's realized how deep this problem goes for Beck. He wants to help; he can't possibly provide Beck with the help he needs. Deep breaths, for now. ]

That's - Are you listening to yourself? What that sounds like? You don't want that.

[mysterioisthetruth]

What don't I want? Acclaim? My name and my picture everywhere, all around the globe?

If I have to die to achieve all that.... Well, that's what you said Tony did, right?

And who wouldn't want to be exactly like Tony Stark?

[The last part is heavily laced with burning sarcasm.]