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[privatepurchases]

[Joining the plethora of return posts is Gabriel who - saw Adam's post and spent several days curled up in a fetal position because the little shit-

No.

Because he has traversed worlds but that was too much. It was the closest he'd ever come to falling. Inches away. One push, one nudge, and he would have a new name and a new job and he'd clean out his nice office and he did things and he knew things now and-

And he should say something right? He should apologize. That would be the angelic thing to do even if it wasn't really him. Who was living like some sort of tick at the top of the food chain and torturing people and familiar with guns and weaponry and terrible terrible things and

When he turns on the video feed it's Gabriel but he's not in a suit. He's in a flannel shirt and a white undershirt and his normally perfectly manicured hair is out of place and he looks human despite the violet eyes and he...

stares.

Because he should apologize.

He should.

He should apologize for what he did. He almost fell, and Lilith and that boy and Lilith-]

I-

[ He tortured people. Shot them killed them locked them away and laughed about it and lived the seven deadly sins and-

Fuck.]

I'm sor-

[Nope. He can't do it. Instead he reaches offscreen for a shot of liquor and with the air of an expert downs it before glaring at the camera, angry, and switching it off.]

Comments

[voice]

[heartstings]

Where are you?

Perma Text

[privatepurchases]

[Why. What difference does it make. he names a Maurita bar that's out of the way before texting.]

I need to get very drunk.

[because he knows what that is now.]

[heartstings]

Don't we all. But y'know you could do it for free at my place.

[privatepurchases]

I'd love directions.

[Cause. You know.]

Also careful. Angels have unlimited tolerance I can just keep drinking if I want.

[heartstings]

[ Insert directions to the Red Branch here. ]

Well, I don't have unlimited booze but you're welcome to what I have.

text

[anathemic]

[ Why are ALL OF THESE MESSAGES so DIFFICULT. Anathema stares at this video even longer, stunned by the sight of the archangel so disheveled, and drinking. And yet— She's also still remembering what it felt like to be terrified of him. To hate him, so much more than she ever did back home. To spend all her days trying to bring him and his system down.

And now. They're back. It wasn't her and it wasn't him, and yet it was. ]


Might want to take it easy on that liquor, buddy.

Or share.

Re: text

[privatepurchases]

It'd be the benevolent angelic thing to do. Probably why I don't want to since I'm less then an angel at this point.

[And he...he doesn't remember her at all. Know about her in that world.]

...Did you hear? about what happened?

[anathemic]

Mmhm. Do you remember all of it? I've heard that some people only remember-- snatches, little bits and pieces.

[privatepurchases]

[Oh god.]

...I remember all of it.

I learned how to plan a mean dinner party and fire a gun even with bodyguards

[anathemic]

Was that all?


[ It's maybe a little cruel, playing with him like this. Trying to make him say it out loud. Maybe she wants the confirmation, that he understands. That he knows what's worth apologising for.

Maybe the taste in her mouth is still just a bit too bitter, with those memories sloshing around in her skull. ]

video;

[cantgetanyworse]

Tell me where you are this instant.

[Does she really want to speak to Gabriel right now? No, not really, but she needs to know if the person she saw in that other place is someone that he would truly be capable of becoming.

She needs to know.]

Re: video;

[privatepurchases]

[no. No no no no. No.

Why does this feel like someone is going to get hurt? And it will be him? The minute he sees this his chest hurts. Jane would never hurt him.

She wouldn't. She was his friend. She gave him-

He wished he had his scarf now. But-

Hair askew he puts the feed back on video. Sweaty and panicked and drunk he gives her directions to the bar he's in before he swallows.]

...Are you okay?

[cantgetanyworse]

We'll talk when I get there.

[And she hangs up on him. Something she had never done to anyone - even Guzma, when he was being himself - but those added years of experience have changed her and worn away some of the softness around the edges of her nature. She's still getting used to it all, but right at this moment...

There's no patience in her for softness.

She arrives at the bar within the next twenty minutes and finds him easily. In silence, she sits down and arranges her skirt across her knees. When she looks at him it isn't an unkind expression, but it's a harder one than it used to be.]

I understand you must be upset right now, but I think we need to talk about some things. Do you want to stay drunk while we do that?

[privatepurchases]

[Gabriel for his part is a mess. He's a bit softer physically but he carries himself with an air of command in the set of his shoulders. He's not dressed for it however; choosing a strange pastel flannel shirt and white undershirt and jeans of all things His gaze hollow, normally perfect hair out of place and wild in front of his eyes, he drains his glass in a practiced motion before setting it down and snapping his fingers. The glass is full again, a niological process but he's been drinking for awhile and.]

I won't be drunk.

[unspoken. 'I'm staying buzzed.' She's a face he knows and remembers from his time before but seeing her here, like this...]

...I wanted to help people Jane. That was why I did it.

[cantgetanyworse]

[She takes in a deep breath, holds it for a moment, then lets it out slowly. Her hands clasp in her lap, still and steady, and when she looks up at him it's like she's searching for something in his eyes.]

... I'm sure that's how it started.

[Jane shakes her head slightly. This is difficult, and she wishes Aziraphale was still here to tell her how she could best deal with it...]

Gabriel, I need you to tell me that you understood what you did wrong. Because why you did something doesn't matter if you hurt people while you did it.

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[am_i_a_monster]

You weren't yourself.
You were messed with - that makes you a victim too.
Are you okay?

Re: text

[privatepurchases]

[What is a victim]

No. I almost fell. I probably did fall I just don't know what it is.

That's not an excuse. I should have known better. I'm an angel.

[He is...here's the thing. He's weirdly doing the right thing by only caring about himself.]

text

[am_i_a_monster]

Is falling bad?

How could any of us have known better when that place messed with our heads?  Lots of people had their memories altered or they were brainwashed. Doesn't make it their fault.

Re: text

[privatepurchases]

Yes. It means I almost became a demon.

[He stares at the phone for a few moments.]

...It may have been an alternate version of me, but it was still...the base of me. Her creation is absolute and I would not be surprised if she made copies of me. Or brought me to other dimensions.

Re: text

[am_i_a_monster]

Are demons bad?  There might be some here that you could talk to.  I've spoken to the devil/a devil here.

Then all of this is her fault and she should feel the guilt.  You, or your copy, did not choose that other world.  You did not choose to be used as a tool for a bad government, etc.

ID: Selina Kyle | VOICE ▸

[catlady]

I'm sure a lot of people are sorry, and yet...

[ She's not interested in sorry. ]

Re: ID: Selina Kyle | VOICE ▸

[privatepurchases]

[Gabriel blinks - surprised.]

What more can people do?

[Confused Frown is go.]

[catlady]

I've always favored action to words, myself.

You hurt a lot of people, Ambassador. Many of them whom have likely returned here just like you and I. You couldn't even finish your sentence, let alone really apologize to those you've harmed and that was the absolute least you could do. We all went through it, Gabriel. We can all sympathize with getting yourself caught in a bad situation and doing what you have to do to survive. Do better than this sloppy, drunk shit.

[privatepurchases]

Excuse me?

[He glares at the camera before snapping his fingers - his glass instantly refills and he focuses wholly on the camera and totally sober.]

I will apologize as soon as I can make a suitable apology that addresses all the wrongs I performed -

[He's not apologizing for that. He feels terrible for himself and that's led to a surprising feeling of guilt.]

How dare you speak to me like that. You have absolutely no idea what I went through. You can't conceive of it.

[catlady]

[ She probably should back down, but Selina's really not the kind. All the glaring and indignation just makes her double down. ]

How dare I not coddle you?

You're right, I don't know what you went through, but none of us had it easy. You're not special. You're not the only person who suffered.