maskormenace | Whoopsie Daisies

[ Joker has decided to use that fun new flower and gift delivery service to send Valentine's Day presents to a few of his nearest and dearest. Unfortunately, the orders have all gotten scrambled, and everyone on his list receives a gift meant for someone else.

All gifts include a card with a personal message, but (tragically!) no sign of the original intended recipient's name. ]

The Gift List

Meant for Loki, but sent to FINN: A vase of candy kabobs and a Whirly Pop
I'm a sucker for your style! Call me when you're ready to come play in the big leagues.
-Joker

Meant for Barbara, but sent to GEORGIA: A long, natural-looking arrangement of purple and white wildflowers
For the woman who's always known how to find the wildflowers in the weeds.
-J

Meant for Carol, but sent to KIRK: An elaborate, vibrant arrangement in electric pinks, purples, and blues
Let me take you to dinner tonight.
-J

Meant for Beck, but sent to HARLEY: A strange, moody arrangement in muted purples and greens, with a bright yellow rubber ducky tucked in the center.
You're an odd little duck, but you do have your charms. One of which, I hope you'll recall, you still owe me...
-J

Meant for Finn, but sent to CAROL: A donut bouquet
For your arsonal.
-Joker

Meant for Harley, but sent to BECK: A massive bouquet of red roses, so ridiculously over-the-top that he's certain she'll see it and assume he's asking her to come back.
Just kidding! Enjoy your day alone.

Meant for Crane, but sent to BARBARA: A surprisingly tasteful bouquet in crimson and peach
Couldn't send you an actual head this year, but hopefully the color palette's close enough to do. Fingers crossed for next time!
Regards from the Back of the House

Meant for Kirk, but sent to LOKI: A snack basket
No one's ever made me feel more delicious than you do! Hope you're ready for round two — I know I am. xoxo

Meant for Georgia, but sent to CRANE: A bouquet of paper roses made from book pages
Still more readable than your work!
-Joker

Meant for Jane, but sent to GABRIEL (who wasn't even on Joker's list): A box of pretty, playful strawberries and other treats
I've been wondering: what's under your candy coating, anyway? Is it juicy-sweet, or a little bit rotten? (Survey says Door B...)
-Joker

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Whatever. He sent something, obviously after Saturday's mess, which means he's still thinking about her. ]

Ok, first off, dickhead, I don't owe you shit.

Second, why are you bothering Quentin and Barbara?

You never could accept presents gracefully.

And since when is he "Quentin"?

That didn't answer the question.

But this reminds me.

You said someone "murdered" you.

I need a name.

I want to send them flowers.

[ Yeah... That deserves a phone call. ]

Uh... Thanks for the donuts? I don't really get the note, though.

[ Be glad she didn't see what you TRIED to send her. ]

[ He may not be answering everything, but he's damned sure listening to it, and he doesn't care for a bit of it. What's she doing talking with Barbara and Beck? ]

Why? To congratulate them on managing what you never could?

That's big of you, Harley, truly.

[ ...Donuts? She must have gotten a gift from someone else today, too. Mixed up the cards somehow. ]

No, no. I sent the flowers. And if the note was out of line, I mean...

You've just been on my mind lately, that's all. And I thought, if you didn't already have plans...

[ She had to go live somewhere until she could find somewhere else to go with her own mini zoo.

And if he doesn't like her choices, well, in her current state of mind, that's even better. ]

It'd be more of a thank you.

Maybe I'll send chocolates too. Who doesn't love chocolate?

Name?

Edited 2020-02-10 19:15 (UTC)

Hold that thought a moment.

[ Or, better yet, let it go entirely. ]

What did you mean, I'm "bothering Quentin and Barbara"?

Wrong number.

You didn't really think I'd forget you that easily, now, did you?

omfg just answer the question.

I mean why are you sending them flowers.

All this stuff started arriving at the same time. I doubt it's a coincidence.

[ She knows they got flowers? Well, fuck. That means she's talking with them on a regular basis! That's no good, that's no good at all... ]

It's not really any of your business, is it?

Oh, but that's right:

You don't HAVE any business of your own, do you? So here you are, sticking your nose about in mine.

Typical.

Do you honestly think you ever knew 100% of what I was doing or who I was spending time with?

You're a grade A narcissist, but holy shit.

You don't even HAVE a name, do you? Because you were making the whole thing up for sympathy.

I'm pretty sure these aren't from Jonathan, just on the basis that he would have actually signed his name on these.

But, the candy does look quite good. And colorful.

[ Xoxo.

Who is Xoxo and why is this being sending him snacks?

At least he has some use for snacks. He can munch on them while following the network.

Then again. Who is Xoxo and what in Odin's name is the meaning of that card? Should he be worried? Is this related to those sausage deliveries he still gets every month?

There sure is gathering a lot of food at his place by now...

Xoxo. Right. He will have to keep an eye out for that name. At least he has some snacks now. ]

I mean, I'm not an arsonist, so it's out of line in that respect... And just because something is arranged in a bouquet doesn't make it flowers.

[ What the hey? ]

Is there something you're not telling me, Joker?

Oh, of course not!

You think I give a damn if you're getting a pedicure or eating Sugar Pops or crying your way through a reality tv binge?

I said "business," Harley, and everyone knows you don't have THAT.

How you fritter away your time is your concern, not mine.

Now go fritter it elsewhere.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner.

But they're called "donuts," kiddo. Keep up with the class.

Just remember: you sent me flowers. I’m still waiting for a damn answer. I have a giant clown made of balloons all ready to hit the order button for. I just need a name.

So donuts come in jelly candy and lollipops now?

[ There's a brief pause. Then, carefully: ] I think you may have received a package intended for someone else. A, ah. Donut-torching buddy of mine, as improbable as I'm sure that must sound.

[ He did tap through the app rather quickly, now that he thinks about it. He must have added Finn's gift to the cart twice or something; that seems entirely possible. A flicker of annoyance flashes through him, because this is exactly the sort of detail work he despises. Harley should have been around to handle this for him, but oh, no. She's off talking with Quentin.

Thank Barnum it was Finn's gift that got duplicated! He'd have really been up the creek without a paddle if he'd accidentally sent Carol the one he lobbed at Harley. ]

Look, I don't suppose you'd let me start over with all this? Take it once more from the top?

For crying out loud

Look

If I tell you, will you go crawl back to whatever sinkhole of despair it is you're sleeping in these days?

[ Not Beck's place. Anywhere but Beck's place. ]

[Because he doesn't want others pouring all over this conversation.]

Thank you for your gift. Unfortunately, paper doesn't mesh with water. The stems have gotten rather soggy, I'm afraid.

[No they haven't. It's actually in his office before it goes in the trash, because it is pretty to look at. Not that he's saying that.]

Well, they might be jelly FILLED, but

No. Not typically, no.

[ All right. So Carol got Finn's gift, and Finn got... Christ, who did he even send jelly candies to? Joker's hastily rifling through the post-its on his desk between texts, trying to remember what was what.

Was the jelly candies the one for Jane, or the one for Loki?

He's going to kill Tina Belcher. Stupid, worthless app...

There's the post-it! Okay, jelly candy + lollipop, that's Loki. Which, okay. That could have been worse.

In fact, maybe this is a good thing... ]

But look, never mind all that!

Since you're texting me and all

Dare I hope that that means you've considered my offer?

Define 'big leagues'

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