maskormenace | 28. Kohlrabid Fandom (served with roasted kohlrabi)

[When the camera turns on, Tina's got it propped up to display various bits of merchandise on the kitchen table; she's currently squinting at a candle.]

Okay, I've seen some ridiculous pieces of merchandise in my time here, but I did a Bletsy dive since everyone seems to be paying extra close attention to us lately, and... how do people come up with this stuff?

[She pulls her phone closer; the candle is labeled "Smells Like Tina Spirit".]

Like this. It's a candle that's supposed to be scented like my favorite things- except how can you really encapsulate "boy smell"? And burger scent on top of that? And why would you want something that smells like butts? I like to look at them, but...

[She trails off, wrinkles her nose, then pokes at a pile of dice.]

And these dice are supposed to be Tina-themed, but they have little clay fish in them. Wouldn't horses or dogs make more sense? [A pause, before she finally gets it.] Oh, uh, unless that was a typo... and I put in Tuna instead of Tina, heh... heh heh...

I won't even go into the tea.

Has anyone else found anything really bizarre?

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You have tea themed after you, too? I thought it was just me.

[ And then... ]

What does a butt scented candle even smell like?

Yeah. It's onion and tomato-flavored tea. I'm not sure that sounds good...

I've tried smelling it, but it's hard to figure out. It blends in with the other scents and ends up just smelling like beef with a hint of body odor.

dude, you gotta demand licensing fees
or at least free samples

you know, i've never thought of that!!

i've been here 3 years and have seen some fanmade merchandise of me but never thought to ask for something in return

thats what i did
you dont have to be a jerk about it either. say youll advertise for em and that works out pretty well
plus a lot of them are just psyched that sempai noticed them

honestly, that sounds about right

i just wish I could use this to help get a boyfriend

but a little extra cash will do too

[ Well this is a conversation he never thought he'd be having. ]

... use the cash on boyfriend dates??

disclaimer: i really dont know anything about getting boyfriends

that's okay!! marketing yourself for merchandise and boyfriends are two different things anyway

I'd be happy if people didn't just toss random stuff together when making merchandise of me

yes. very. different.

anyway yeah okay THAT i get. like. youve got a BRAND right
i mean its a brand that apparently involves burgers and butts but
still, they can at least get with it

my family owned a burger restaurant back home, so that's kind of my thing

I like to cook in general but burgers are my go-to, and i try to give them all punny names

as far as butts go, that's my favorite part on a boy, but they don't pair well with burgers