video

[knaval]

[hello, america! there is a very large autobot on-screen-- looks like in his brief time away he hasn't forgotten how to balance the camera right! if riptide is good at anything, it's getting attention for himself! he's sitting on heropa beach and the angle shows that even without standing he's a good 20ft tall.]

Heyooo! I'm back, apparently. This planet hasn't changed much. Is the world still ending? I remember that being a thing. We should have an end of the world party if it is! Or one celebrating that it's not the end of the world if it isn't anymore! I've been in a void for a long time, a guy wants to get inebriated, y'know?

[a beat, then:] Oh, can someone show me how to drive? I can turn into a car now as well as a boat. Pretty cool. I won't do it drunk, promise. Maybe.

Comments

video;

[fireandhoney]

Look at that, you're back.

Re: video;

[knaval]

Sure am, Sweetroll guy! [he doesn't remember your name finn, sorry. he's still kind of an asshole.] You been here this entire time? My condolences.

[fireandhoney]

Oh, it hasn't been so bad. Obviously we saved the world.

[knaval]

You gonna tell me how or do I have to play the usual guessing game?

[fireandhoney]

We raided the OTO headquarters and took them out, then Jeopardy was engulfed in fog and monsters were all over, which we fought, and then we made memory sacrifices the goddesses. And then we crashed our own funerals which turned into a huge party.

[knaval]

Not the first time I've heard of someone crashing their own funeral, but how? You're organic! You die easily! That's, like, your thing.

[fireandhoney]

Funny story. Those of us who went into Jeopardy lost contact with the outside and we were gone for long enough that everybody just assumed we were all dead.

[knaval]

Lost contact with the outside, what does that even mean?

[fireandhoney]

It means whatever magic was affecting Jeopardy made it so we were unable to contact anyone on the outside.

[knaval]

Okay. I think I get it.

[...........he doesn't.]

What's happened since then? And please, be clear.

[fireandhoney]

Since then, things have more or less gone back to normal. Shithead clown poisoned everyone, monsters that stole hearts invaded, and I turned into a dragon/dunmer hybrid for a short while.

[knaval]

I don't know what a dunmer is.

[the rest of it he gets, though.]

We're not on a timer anymore then? That's pretty neat. Though I hope that doesn't mean you guys are getting lazy about your space travel. Gotta get off this rock! Sooner the better.

[fireandhoney]

You're looking at a dunmer.

Not a fan of Earth, huh?

[knaval]

Oh. Well, it's not bad but it's a little boring. Don't you think?

[fireandhoney]

Oh, I don't know. Earth does have ice cream and the internet.

[knaval]

You... you know like... almost every planet has those things, right?

[fireandhoney]

Not mine. The closest thing to ice cream on Thedas is milk and honey that got left outside in the snow. And internet? Maybe not for another hundred years.

[knaval]

So... just wait the hundred years? That's not very long.

[fireandhoney]

Maybe not for you. But I'd rather enjoy the internet before I'm an old man.

[knaval]

You have it here.

I'm confused. I forgot what we were talking about.

[fireandhoney]

Were you always this flaky or did I miss something?

[knaval]

[ohhhh OHHHH THAT VERY LEGITIMATE COMMENT GETS HIM RILED]

Hey! It's not me, it's you! You're just really confusing to talk to!!

[fireandhoney]

Whatever you say.