His temper's already ebbed, that near-shout quietened in favour of a steady look as he just stares at her across his bedroom. Both their body languages tight and closed off, retreating in on each other. Vanity.Noncosmetic?
"It's not just vanity, Allison. I don't— feel— right. In this. I don't move the way I used to." He'd used to be quick, light on his feet. How was it he'd described it to Rikki again, during that one loose sleep-deprived night over tea, when everyone was swapping bodies?
Do you just not feel like you in there, or something? It's not... me. It just isn't me. Nothing feels like me. The balance is off. My center of gravity. The spaces I can fit into. Everything.
(I used to be handsome.)
Luther shakes his head. Tries to pick through and find the right words to explain it, even when talking about it, out loud, in person, where she can see every last flicker of emotion on his face, is damn near the last thing he wants to be doing. Let alone with her. Especially not with her.
(When that chandelier had ripped him open, bared him to the world, Allison and Diego and Vanya had all seen— but Luther had only had eyes for one. Had stared and stared and stared at Allison across the foyer, frozen like a deer in the headlights, waiting for that gut-punch of her expression shifting, waiting for the horror and pity and disgust and revulsion, before he'd finally just turned tail and run away.)
"Think about it this way. What if it was someone from Aegis? A registered hero. Like Finn, helping Vanya and suppressing her powers. They were trained to do that. Experienced. If there's someone else out there with experience, who knows how to do this sort of thing..."
He exhales, half-frustration, half-bleak laugh. "I don't even know if the right person exists who can do it. Maybe they don't. It's probably all a lost cause anyway. But I— it's been a year. It felt... worth asking. Just once. Why not."
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"It's not just vanity, Allison. I don't— feel— right. In this. I don't move the way I used to." He'd used to be quick, light on his feet. How was it he'd described it to Rikki again, during that one loose sleep-deprived night over tea, when everyone was swapping bodies?
Luther shakes his head. Tries to pick through and find the right words to explain it, even when talking about it, out loud, in person, where she can see every last flicker of emotion on his face, is damn near the last thing he wants to be doing. Let alone with her. Especially not with her.
(When that chandelier had ripped him open, bared him to the world, Allison and Diego and Vanya had all seen— but Luther had only had eyes for one. Had stared and stared and stared at Allison across the foyer, frozen like a deer in the headlights, waiting for that gut-punch of her expression shifting, waiting for the horror and pity and disgust and revulsion, before he'd finally just turned tail and run away.)
"Think about it this way. What if it was someone from Aegis? A registered hero. Like Finn, helping Vanya and suppressing her powers. They were trained to do that. Experienced. If there's someone else out there with experience, who knows how to do this sort of thing..."
He exhales, half-frustration, half-bleak laugh. "I don't even know if the right person exists who can do it. Maybe they don't. It's probably all a lost cause anyway. But I— it's been a year. It felt... worth asking. Just once. Why not."