maskormenace

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Happy almost Halloween. I'm not going to reuse my superhero look. I don't feel very heroic these days.

I think I've come up with a costume, or my stylist came up with a costume, that the fans won't recognize me in. The only issue is I'm not sure what to call it. Here's a photo. Goth girl maybe? Halloween girl? I could add some fake blood and call it a zombie costume. It's a little creepy to be an undead creature though, considering that I was dead. Maybe it doesn't need a name.

What are the rest of you imports going to be for Halloween?

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[There's a delay in her response. Images are flooding her mind at the sound of that voice. Hunting, an unconscious deer being carried away to another room with someone. Something about dreams, a feeling of both pride and guilt. It's as much as her mind will let her remember right now, though more memories will probably come back to her later in her dreams. That's how her mind tends to cope with suppressed memories.]

Yeah, I'm okay. Are you?

[ There's some relief to that answer. She doesn't let it show through though and keeps up a casual attitude. ]

Yeah, not too bad. I just saw that you said you weren't feeling very heroic and wondered.

[ There's a small pause as she tries to think of something to say, and then Yuki nudges up against her in search of pets. ]

Hey, I have a dog now!

I'm not the kind of person that's meant to be a hero. [Abigail has that lingering feeling that she's done bad things again. She forces a smile.] The music thing pays better anyway. Better hours too.

[Her smile's less forced at the mention of a dog.] Hey, that's great! Dogs make your life better in so many ways.

Kinda funny for me to say this, as I am doing hero work here, but I kinda feel like that too sometimes. [ Truth is she doesn't feel like a hero. She just feels like a little soldier in a nice costume, but at least she can say she's doing good things with her experience as a breathing weapon. ] Your music can heal people, right? I think that's more important anyway. So many people want to be out there fighting, but they don't think about healing, which is the hard part.

[ Oh and now she grins, and it's easily heard in her voice. ]

I agree! I've been taking in and cleaning up strays, getting them their shots, that sort of thing, before getting them situated with a no-kill shelter, but I ran into one that just sorta... Stuck. He's mine now. His name is Yuki. Depending on how you write it, it can bean a bunch of things, like happiness, and courage, and snow.

Do you want to being doing hero work here? [She still feels strongly that imports shouldn't be forced into the role of hero.] Yeah, it can heal people. It can do other things too. I think I'm helping people with it. It's not so hard really, I just play the harpsichord and I enjoy that. [It's simple when she can zone out and focus only on the music and the specific goal she wants to reach with it. No worrying about who she might end up hurting then.]

He adopted you! That's a cool name. Did you pick it? Mine came with their names and they've grown on me. [Though she doesn't know the meanings. It didn't occur to her to ask before her friends disappeared.] Is he a happy, brave pup with snow-colored fur?

I do. It's just... [ She lets out a hrmmm, sound before finally speaking again. ] It's the least I could do, considering that I contribute so little value to society otherwise. I'm not content with society the way it is, but I lack the education and the connections to go most other routes. Also, sometimes I need to fight. I get wired and feel like I'm going to explode if I go for too long without getting roughed up and roughing others up. Sparring can totally deal with it, but it's much more productive to use it to stop crime. [ She says, somehow failing to realise that more of her time is spent de-escalating situations than actually beating people up. Too much time spent de-escalating situations back in the cult for it to register as valuable, probably. ] You came here with music skills, right? Well, I came here with fighting skills. Also evacuation skills which are really useful at swear-ins! Or... Whatever they're called now.

As for Yuki... He absolutely adopted me! I picked his name, though he's probably not going to be living up to it any time soon. He's a brown dog, really fluffy! He's a little shy, and he's only brave when he has me to hide behind... But I think he'll grow into the name. And he's already showing that he's brave in his own way. When I have moments where I'm scared, the ones that just come out of nowhere, he comes over to me and... Grounds me I guess? Even though he can feel that I'm feeling like I gotta run or fight or whatever. He's really clever.

A lot of people aren't happy with society. Not that many try to make it better. That says something about you. [Abigail is quiet for a moment. She has violent urges too, she's always seen them as a sign that something's wrong with her. There's a fear that she has some sickness inherited from her father that's growing inside her. That'll she snap one day.] I came here with other skills here. I don't have to use them.

My pets have those smarts too. It's like they can sense when I'm going to have a...bad moment and they try to pull me out of it. It's amazing how animals can do that, isn't it? Even when they're not trained for it. It's like they know us.

Maybe they can see or smell little indicators of emotion. I've heard of some being able to sniff out cancer.

Or maybe animals just care more then people.

[ That earns a smile. ] I hope that in some time I'll be able to make some positive change. [ There's then a pause. ] Can I ask what those other skills are? Or should I not. If you're not using them they may be skills you don't like.

It really is amazing. I think that with some animals it's because we sorta domesticated them? Well. Not just sorta. But our species have a long history together and we adapted to each other, but animals did a better job of it than we did. I think animals also have a kinda advantage. They don't have all the trappings of intricate social interactions that we do, so they're not constantly rethinking things. They're just... Honest? They're not afraid to care, and don't even seem to be able to conceptualise why they ever would be.

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