maskormenace | 1

[ Ever noticed how bleach, antifreeze and methylated spirits all look a lot like clear, drinkable water? Nishi sure has, and he's got bottles of each lined up on a table, along with a bottle of actual water and about two dozen plastic cups. In the background appears to be a dozen completely checked-out elderly citizens, none of them paying much attention to him.

If the uniform is anything to go by, he works there, and it's probably a retirement home. You know, because of the large volume of... well, old people. ]

You'd think with this kind of technology, these people would be able to perform more adequate background checks before they went accepting whoever shows up cross-universe with open arms.

[ A reference to the leaks recently, and how bad everyone before him seemed to fuck up. He doesn't really get the big deal, only having been here a few weeks, but a chance to rip on a hundred people he doesn't know? Never pass it up.

He pours a glass of bleach, one of antifreeze, and one of methylated spirits. The rest he fills with water. ]

They say they wanted heroes? I haven't seen a single one, only people who can't tell their feet from their face. Easy to blame when things fall to shit. The rest of you poor excuses for heroes are giving us upstanding citizens a bad name.

[ "Upstanding citizens" he says as he puts the chemical-filled cups onto a tray, mixed up with real water. He's clearly intending to hand them out, and he waits, gives some time for the penny to drop before he turns off the feed. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ARE YOU KIDDING.]

No upstanding citizen would do what you seem to be doing.

Please put that tray down!

You gotta be kidding me...

[ Considering his first meeting involved this guy wanting to watch small children run over by a car? Probably not.

Shit... where the hell would a bunch of old people just be hanging out together? A hospital? There aren't exactly any nursing homes in the Glade, Minho's a little out of his depths identifying the location here. ]

You're one seriously messed up kid.

No way. I'm just trying to do my job.

[ He gets that a lot. After a while it loses its zing and leaves you sitting there nodding your head. Yeah, uh-huh, okay. ]

Hey. Long time no see. Came to cash in on my offer?

[ He's not even responding to that. He's not much of a hero most of the time himself, and he's pretty damn sure this is really obvious bait on Nishi's part...

But the other option is letting a bunch of innocent geriatrics die when they don't have to, and he's not exactly a fan of that idea. So raising to the bait it is. ]

Where are you?

[ his head quirks to the side as he um, watches this video. ]

I suppose that's one way to get a rise.

[Really, spare him. Giorno presses his lips together a little.]

I assume you were assigned the position of torturer, then? If not, then this is hardly in the job description, I'm sure.

[ He wishes. ]

I like the sound of that better. It's got a good ring to it.

[ What use do they have anyway? Just a bunch of old meat sacks sitting around thinking about things that have already happened.

There's no way he's telling Minho where he is though. He's right in that it's bait; of course Nishi isn't about to kill 20 crotchety old fucks. Who would pay him for that? He's still got to make a living. ]

Find me yourself.

Well it worked, right? Pretty funny.

[Kotetsu holds off being completely outraged for like ten seconds to yell into his communicator as loudly as he can, hoping the elderly people behind Nishi will be able to hear him through it.]

Don't drink those!!!!!

Much less the ha ha sort of funny, and much more the running and screaming type of funny.

[ He stares at the screen for a minute before he cuts off the feed. He's got super speed and all, but he's still got a lot of city to search through to find the right place. ]

[ He's dismissively waving his hand, even though it can't be seen. ]

Same thing. It's still funny.

That's not a real job.

[so much deadpan.]

It will only end in tears!

[Preferably yours, jfc.]

Besides, you'll probably find better employment opportunities if you refrain from threatening the health of your charges.

Tch, what are you doing?

[ Stop trying to ruin his fun? He leans forward to turn the communicator down, just in case. If anyone heard the yelling, they don't show it, and everyone is just kind of looking around, puzzled. ]

[ Bye, shithead. Good luck with that. Nishi seems pretty annoyed that Minho hung up on him and stopped playing his game, but too bad Minho isn't around to see it. ]

[ Here we go. ]

When did I threaten their health?

Warning the people you're about to fucking poison, you crazy asshole!

[And with that question answered, he's back to ignoring you to speak to the network at large--or whoever looks at this post anyway.]

Anyone know what retirement home that is?? We gotta get some ambulances over there quick.

[Maybe he can talk to Emma. She can long distance track minds and stuff right?]

[ Let's just give people a little more time to scream at Nishi before Minho shows up, huh? Don't worry though, he will be arriving eventually, and then Nishi can resume his shitty little game. It's just gonna take him several minutes to find him. ]

It's either an implicit threat or an elaborate joke played on the other imPorts.

Either one is pretty unreasonable.

[ He waves a hand, dismissing the concern. It's hard to maintain a straight face here, and he's struggling a little, but he doesn't try to pull the plug on his own fun yet.

Someone is definitely going to get fined for wasting ambulance time when they find out that he tipped the cups straight down the drain. ]

Tick tock, better hurry. They don't have much time left.

[ Which isn't even a lie. ]

Then that makes the real question: which one is it?

[ He's honestly just been having too much fun since he posted the video, and hasn't moved from the spot he was sitting in since handing out the cups. The ones filled with chemicals are already long gone down the drain, and the rest half drank. Surprisingly, nobody seems to have died yet. ]

[Well, now that this conversation has gone on for a little while, and the initial screaming impulse to interject has died down in him, Giorno watches the screen for a long time... and then gives a short laugh.]

The latter seems more likely than the former. If you were truly intending to kill or injure them, it would be absurd to film and broadcast your preparations.

Also, you're still talking to us. That speaks for itself.

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AUDIO.

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lmk if this isn't cool!!

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it's all good!

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