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[katastrophe]

[ Ever noticed how bleach, antifreeze and methylated spirits all look a lot like clear, drinkable water? Nishi sure has, and he's got bottles of each lined up on a table, along with a bottle of actual water and about two dozen plastic cups. In the background appears to be a dozen completely checked-out elderly citizens, none of them paying much attention to him.

If the uniform is anything to go by, he works there, and it's probably a retirement home. You know, because of the large volume of... well, old people. ]

You'd think with this kind of technology, these people would be able to perform more adequate background checks before they went accepting whoever shows up cross-universe with open arms.

[ A reference to the leaks recently, and how bad everyone before him seemed to fuck up. He doesn't really get the big deal, only having been here a few weeks, but a chance to rip on a hundred people he doesn't know? Never pass it up.

He pours a glass of bleach, one of antifreeze, and one of methylated spirits. The rest he fills with water. ]

They say they wanted heroes? I haven't seen a single one, only people who can't tell their feet from their face. Easy to blame when things fall to shit. The rest of you poor excuses for heroes are giving us upstanding citizens a bad name.

[ "Upstanding citizens" he says as he puts the chemical-filled cups onto a tray, mixed up with real water. He's clearly intending to hand them out, and he waits, gives some time for the penny to drop before he turns off the feed. ]

Comments

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[goldenlegacy]

[ARE YOU KIDDING.]

No upstanding citizen would do what you seem to be doing.

Please put that tray down!

[katastrophe]

No way. I'm just trying to do my job.

[goldenlegacy]

[Really, spare him. Giorno presses his lips together a little.]

I assume you were assigned the position of torturer, then? If not, then this is hardly in the job description, I'm sure.

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[runout]

You gotta be kidding me...

[ Considering his first meeting involved this guy wanting to watch small children run over by a car? Probably not.

Shit... where the hell would a bunch of old people just be hanging out together? A hospital? There aren't exactly any nursing homes in the Glade, Minho's a little out of his depths identifying the location here. ]

You're one seriously messed up kid.

[katastrophe]

[ He gets that a lot. After a while it loses its zing and leaves you sitting there nodding your head. Yeah, uh-huh, okay. ]

Hey. Long time no see. Came to cash in on my offer?

[runout]

[ He's not even responding to that. He's not much of a hero most of the time himself, and he's pretty damn sure this is really obvious bait on Nishi's part...

But the other option is letting a bunch of innocent geriatrics die when they don't have to, and he's not exactly a fan of that idea. So raising to the bait it is. ]

Where are you?

AUDIO.

[selfimage]

[ his head quirks to the side as he um, watches this video. ]

I suppose that's one way to get a rise.

[katastrophe]

Well it worked, right? Pretty funny.

[selfimage]

Much less the ha ha sort of funny, and much more the running and screaming type of funny.

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[earnedmystripes]

[Kotetsu holds off being completely outraged for like ten seconds to yell into his communicator as loudly as he can, hoping the elderly people behind Nishi will be able to hear him through it.]

Don't drink those!!!!!

[katastrophe]

Tch, what are you doing?

[ Stop trying to ruin his fun? He leans forward to turn the communicator down, just in case. If anyone heard the yelling, they don't show it, and everyone is just kind of looking around, puzzled. ]

lmk if this isn't cool!!

[earnedmystripes]

Warning the people you're about to fucking poison, you crazy asshole!

[And with that question answered, he's back to ignoring you to speak to the network at large--or whoever looks at this post anyway.]

Anyone know what retirement home that is?? We gotta get some ambulances over there quick.

[Maybe he can talk to Emma. She can long distance track minds and stuff right?]

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[lyingheart]

Is caretaking the elderly that boring?

[katastrophe]

What kind of a weak question is that? Of course it is.

[ Video ]

[anthropophagite]

[ what the FUCK

kid

kid you stop that kid ]

W-wa-!

What are you doing?!

[katastrophe]

I'm working.

[ Most casual answer in the world. ]

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[andaway]

And what do you exactly intent to do with all the chemicals you just poured into the cups, upstanding citizen?

[katastrophe]

Who knows? If you wait long enough, you'll probably find out.

Tell me if this isn't okay!

[rathercommon]

[ Kitty doesn't respond to this post - not directly. Instead, she spends a few minutes (too long) using what she can see on the screen to track down exactly which old people's home this is. Then she calls emergency services. She doesn't waste time telling them that someone's trying to poison people - too many explanations would be needed - but instead just tells them that she smells gas, that there's a leak in the building.

They'll organize an immediate evacuation, if they're worth anything, and the other heroes will make sure that this kid pays for what he's done - and her interference will, hopefully, never be traced back to her. ]

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[infomodder]

You realize that the quantities you have of those substances are more likely to cause these people to vomit on you than anything else, right? Denatured alcohol tastes as foul as it smells and bleach burns. Ethylene glycol is the only one you have that could even pass for a drinkable substance.

[Well no one else was saying it. There is no point for any "hero" to step in when this kid is just going to get puked on. Jesus Christ.]

not here

[hostage]

[Was thinking it. Couldn't say it. Glad you stepped in, buddy.]

[katastrophe]

[ It's almost like he had no intentions of killing anyone. ]

Giving me advice for how to do a better job next time? Pretty generous of you.

action...ish. If this isn't cool, drop me a line

[takethestairs]

[Edgeworth doesn't bother replying directly; instead, he jots down all the physical details he can about Nishi he can, and calls the Heropa police immediately afterwards. If he had more time, he would do more research, try and pinpoint the location of the retirement home from any clues on the feed, but he can't take that risk. All he can do is to contact the authorities and hope he has the right city - and, if not, they can communicate more effectively than he can. Unlike Kitty, though, he plans on giving a full explanation.]

[darwinatrix]

Interesting. You'll get quite the response.

[katastrophe]

You should hear it. It's great. Totally worth it.