maskormenace | 02 | video (backdated to the 27th)

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02 | video (backdated to the 27th)

[the video opens to the sound of the Thanksgiving dog show in the background and Jonathan settled contentedly on the couch, clad inexplicably in a turtleneck featuring the four Pac-Man ghosts. he smiles cheerfully.]

This isn't my holiday, but I hope that everyone who celebrates has been having a good time. I'm not entirely certain what purebred dogs have to do with being thankful, but I'm certainly grateful for the opportunity to watch them.

I never realized that dogs would be among the things that had changed in the future, but I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise. People are always looking to improve their breed however they can.

Perhaps it's a bit childish, but owning a dog again is one of the things I'm looking forward to most when I finally feel able to leave the government housing. It's been a while since I've had a pet.

[he scratches his cheek, the smile becoming a tad nostalgic for a moment of two. the television announces the start of judging for the hound group and he shakes himself out of it easily with a roll of the shoulders.]

Ah, but I hadn't meant to simply chatter away about inanities! I've been thinking about this for a bit, and I wanted to ask someone who was more experienced in the matter - how does finishing one's education work here?

There's no way I could prove my qualifications, after all, but I'd like to finally graduate if at all possible. It's the principle of the thing.

[finally completing his degree feels kind of like a symbolic closing of the worst chapter of his life, even if in Heropa that wasn't technically true. and it would give him a little more confidence in perhaps looking for a job actually related to his field of interest.]

Thank you for your time.

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Isn't it wonderful?

[problem? nope, Jonathan doesn't see one here. not with being polite to his family or the cacophony inside. he moves towards the cages with the sort of confidence that makes it clear this isn't the first time he's been here. the shelter's open later than most pet shops, after all.]

As long as it's not wet dog.

[See, Joseph never had a dog. Never had the chance to get used to Wet Dog Smell and grow to love it.]

You seem like you've been here a lot, though. Found a dog here you like enough?

[it's a scent only slightly less lovable than a face full of dog breath. Jonathan chuckles, crouching in front of a cage to give its occupant an affectionate ear tousling.]

I like to come visit when I have the time; even if I can't have one of my own yet, there's no reason for me not to give a little love. There are a few I particularly enjoy seeing, but...

[well, it seems a little unfair to be choosing favorites when he shouldn't be adopting one. also they're all ugly dogs. they are so ugly, Joseph.]

A few? Well, there's a few that I like too when I visit, but c'mon, you've been here more than I have! You've got to have a favorite by now. They aren't gonna be offended.

[Show him your favoritest ugliest dog, jonathan.]

You'd be surprised at the dirty looks I've gotten before.

[he's joking, probably. buuuut it can't hurt to show Joseph the one guy he always makes sure to swing by and foist love on, can it?

he stands up and leads the way significantly further into the back, something which will probably make a lot more sense when the dog comes into view. he is gigantic, he is black, and he is probably at least part Neopolitan mastiff. he is also losing his shit in excitement as he sees the pair of them coming over.]

[That sure is a big slobbery mess of a dog there. But as they get closer, and as that beast of a canine gets more excited, Joseph can tell. This is definitely Jonathan's favorite, and it seems he's visited him quite a bit if he remembered him. Even if it's ugly as all get out, but whatever, it's not for him anyway. Good enough for Joseph and his plans.]

Wow, he's big!

[And a hot mess, goddamn.]

So why haven't you picked him up yet?

He still has some growing left to do, actually. He's a little on the young side.

[which (probably) explains the raw amounts of untainted energy being displayed here. Jonathan strides right up to the cage and leans in to plant a kiss on the dog's head between the bars without hesitation, laughing as it tries desperately to return the favor.]

It wouldn't be fair of me to take him home. I'm living with other people in a house that isn't technically my own. Besides, someone else might want to take him home.

[as if there wasn't literally everything working against this dog finding a forever home somewhere. love really is blind.]

Well, it's not like there's officially a rule against having pets in the government housing. I wouldn't worry about that too much. But really, that's him not even at his biggest? You sure he's not part wolf or something too?

[At least, he doesn't think there's a rule. Jonathan really seems to like that dog though, huh... Maybe on the way out, he'll grab some adoption information. It can't be that expensive.]

Well, they're not entirely certain of all the breeds he's descended from, so I suppose it's possible. But I think a horse would be a better guess!

[whump whump whump goes the dog's tail against the bars as he leans in close to luxuriate in all the loving attention being poured on him. the shelter will probably be very excited to get rid of this guy, so maybe Joseph can even get a discount on everything.]

[Good, because your grandson isn't exactly filthy rich here.

Meanwhile, as Jonathan has been showering this dog with attention, Joseph disappears for a bit. Goes to the front desk and asks if Jonathan can spend some time with the dog besides through the bars. Some sweet-talking later, Joseph returns with a key.]

Hey, Gramps, move aside from the bars for a sec.

[Jonathan notices when Joseph wanders off, but simply chalks it up to him wanting to look at some of the other animals while his grandpa is a humungous loser over here. he looks mildly perplexed at the key, but obligingly steps back all the same.]

Where did you get that?

Her name's Jenny.

[Look, Jotaro might get girls without even trying, and Jonathan might have only attracted one girl in his entire life, but Joseph can woo when he needs to okay?]

She works front desk. I told her we wanted to see this dog in person instead of just through the cage.

[And Joseph unlocks the cage door. Knowingly stepping out of the way though, like hell he's going to try and stop this linebacker of a dog when it very clearly is going to try and jump Jonathan.]

[a very wise decision. Jonathan is starting in on a response when the door opens and the dog flies forward, leaping up like a goddamn bear to finally bestow all those sloppy kisses it's been denied for so long. he laughs, catching the animal with a practiced ease that makes it clear Danny used to do the same thing quite often in the past. he could probably have trained it out of him, but why would he want to?

Joseph's going to have to be a little patient, because right now he's not going to be getting any answers out of his grandfather. instead Jonathan lets the dog get all his slobbery love out of his system for a few minutes before gently spinning them both to a sitting position on the ground, where the dog almost immediately rolls over onto his belly as if he truly believes that he's the perfect size for a lap dog. the whole time Jonathan is laughing uproariously, probably the most relaxed and unbridled his family has seen him here.]

[There's one more thing Joseph's learned since coming to this weirdo future world. And that's how to record something with his phone. ~~David actually helped him with this one, honestly...~~ Either way, this whole scene is being recorded on Joseph's phone and he's grinning as he watches. He's never seen Jonathan so happy... and it's worth the lies to see this. He knows that if Jonathan knew, he'd look at Joseph with such guilt, even if everything that happens isn't even remotely his fault.

Ever since Joseph was old enough to realize what grief and loss felt like, he knew that sometimes, Erina looked at him in a way that he could tell... she wasn't seeing Joseph, she was seeing Jonathan. A person's eyes give away a lot about what they're thinking about, and if there's anything Joseph can do to keep that look out of Jonathan's eyes, he will. ~~Protect Jonathan at all costs.~~]

Hey, Jojo, smile for the camera!

Hm?

[there's no way for Jonathan to know what's going on in Joseph's head, of course. he looks up in confusion, expression made all the more comical by the way the dog has thrown his hair into even more of a mess and is continuing to slobber over any part of him he can reach.]

Are - are you recording this?

[Joseph sticks out his tongue in response. So yeah, the answer is yes, he totally is.]

[oh my god Joseph. Jonathan's ears get a healthy dusting of red for a moment before a mischievous expression settles in. somehow he manages to lean over the dog and make a grab at his grandson's leg with the intention of pulling him down to the ground with everyone else.

YOU RECORD THE MOMENT YOU BECOME PART OF THE MOMENT PREPARE TO EXPERIENCE DOG SLOBBER KID]

Ahhh-!

[Okay, he wasn't expecting that. If only because he doesn't expect anything even remotely sneaky from Jonathan, which is a vast underestimation of character on Joseph's part. He should have known that the childish streak he has didn't just come from nowhere. Down he falls on his ass, fumbling for his phone as he goes and ending the recording mid-air. This does not, however, prevent the dog from coming over and forcing Joseph to join in the slobber party.

Drool is one of Joseph's like... least favorite things. But if it's from a dog... he'll tolerate it better. And how can he keep a straight face when there's this giant mastiff-something on him, licking at his face.]

Pffffftthhh- J- Jonathan! Get him off me!

[He's laughing while saying this though so he can't be that mad.]

Why are you asking me that? I haven't trained him!

[but this is also said between laughs, so it's kind of hard to take the protestation very seriously. he lets the dog bestow its drooly love on this new member of the family for a few minutes before proving that even if he hasn't trained him, Jonathan may have taught him a couple tricks during his visit. with a pat on the ground and a soft 'come' the monster gives Joseph one last lick before trotting happily back to jump inelegantly into Jonathan's lap.]

[Of course. Of course he taught him a few tricks. Jonathan loves this big stupid mutt, and Joseph (while judging his taste) can't blame him. He heard from Erina that Jonathan had a dog, although she never did tell Joseph what happened.

He can only guess.

Joseph wipes the spit off his face with the back of his arm, and sighs.]

What's his name?

Harvey, I believe. But since the shelter doesn't do any obedience training with their dogs, whoever adopts them are free to rename.

[ok, so maybe he's looked into things a little bit because Jonathan loves torturing himself at every possible opportunity. all of his responses are now coming with his head gently resting on the dog's back, because while the animal seems to have calmed down considerably, it certainly shows no signs of wanting to move anytime soon.]

It's fortunate. I'm not certain it fits him very well, to be perfectly honest.

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02 | video (backdated to the 27th)

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TOO CUTE JONATHAN, NOT ALLOWED

HE DOES WHAT HE WANTS

NO THAT ICON IS TOO CUTE TOO FUCK

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET EXTRA ICON SPACE

fuck your extra icon space its not fair

just wait until i find a song to keyword the rest of them to

i couldnt find a song better than the one im using for these keywords so i stopped looking

i wish i wasn't so picky about dumb shit haha (also why don't you kill me with this god)

im killing myself with this too i dont even know why

we hate ourselves i guess

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