maskormenace | 01. video

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[The sound of the sea and gulls can just about be heard in the background, as well as the chugging of a boat's motor in the background but beyond that, there's an awful lot of noise going on from what sounds like an agitated crowd.

"Murderers! Scum! Evil murderers!"

And now you are treated to the shot of a very perplexed looking man with a scarred, tanned face looking at the communicator as though he still doesn't quite trust what he's been told about it (and he doesn't really).]

I don't know why this Peter bloke's getting his breeches in a bunch about fishing, there ain't nothin' wrong with going out to fish and it ain't enough to-

[A particularly shrill woman with bright purple hair shrieks 'Bastard!' at him and he chuckles.]

Steady on love! My mam and da had me on the right side of the sheets thanks.

[Shaking his head, he turns his attention back to the communicator.]

Friendly lot round these parts, aren't they? Is this the normal welcome us new folk can expect or is it just fishermen they ta- oh Jaysus hang on.

[It seems that one of the PETA protestors with a can of red paint has broken through and is rushing at an older looking sailor with an aim to throw it at him. The communicator is dropped, and there's a brief flash of bright blue sky before it lands and picks up on the sight of our broadcaster, shirtless and tattooed, tackling the protestor, sitting astride him and punching him square in the jaw.]

Piss. Off!

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Well, picketing at you sure ain't nice. People gotta eat, don't they?

[...well that's odd. Sure sounds like the little box thing is actually talking back to him.

So while he leaves the protestor rolling around clutching their bloodied nose, he's going to have another little look-see here.]

I'm only doin' what them folks told me I'd been hired to do, if this Peter git don't like it then he can come and tell it to my face.

[Kaylee has to smile at the man's actions- it reminds her a little of Mal. Or Jayne, actually.]

Exactly. You're just doin' your job, and fish is pretty tasty, too!

Taste's got nothin' to do with it love; it's what it pays like that really counts. Besides, I'm more of a mutton or lamb kind of man myself.

[So speaketh the sheep farmer's son.]

[Kaylee stifles a giggle.]

Well, pay's a good reason to keep at it too, sir. I ain't never had mutton myself.

[ Nods solemnly. ]

I know what you mean. I nearly got arrested when all Naga did was eat a seal.

[Right, this looks like another one. Perhaps they weren't telling tall tales when it comes to these little communicator things.]

Strange sort of people round these parts, getting all fired up over a few marlin.

[He scratches the back of his neck.]

Your mate must've been pretty hungry to eat a whole seal.

Right? They're all pretty wound up and when they're not - they're stuck up.

[ Korra has the kindest and only the most objective opinion of cityfolk. ]

Yeah, well my friend is a polar- [ Wait. Shit, she's not supposed to advertise what Naga is if that one sheriff character was serious about her keeping Naga being illegal. ] A dog. A really big dog.

So did you land a good hit on that protester guy?

Well unless them seals belonged to someone then I don't know why anyone'd get all het up about a dog going after a wild animal. It's what they do, innit? And I ain't heard about many folk keeping seals as livestock.

[Sheep farmer's son turned pirate; he's not exactly a soft touch on these things. But at the enquiry about the protestor, he angles the communicator over his shoulder at the protestor who's still lying on the ground clutching his nose.]

I reckon I got 'im in the sweet spot, aye. If he comes at my captain again I might be persuaded to break a few of his teeth.

Finally. Someone in this crazy place talking some actual sense.

[ Living in the South Pole the only real food source was what you hunted yourself with trade and agriculture limited by the harsh environment. She feels you, man. ]

Yeah, seriously. [ Roughing up protesters and Korra go way back. ] So you're a sailor?

Was. I'm a lowly fisherman now, it seems, until I can find something better to do. Still, 's'not like I ain't had experience spear fishing before I got here, me and my crew hauled in a hammerhead who must've been close to fifteen feet the other day. That one gave us a good run for our money.

[He shrugs. It's probably best to keep the exact details of his seafaring under wraps; piracy's not exactly a noble profession.]

How's about you, lass?

I'm a group counselor at the local youth center which is...a lot different than what I'm used to.

[ Being the thousand times reincarnation of the embodiment of light and balance she can do; stopping wars she can do - wrangle a herd of troubled and nervous teenagers not so much. ]

I lived by the ocean most of my life, though. Sailed around by myself for awhile, too. Saw an elephant koi once - now those are pretty big.

Elephant koi? What waters would you find them then? I been at sea almost ten years and I don't think I've ever seen or heard of one of them.

[And then he scratches his chin because this is a man who's always looking out for a profit.]

You reckon they'd be worth a bob or two?

What's a bob?

You know, a shilling. Although if they're as big as you say we might be talking doubloons.

No, but I'm just going to take a shot in the dark and assume you mean money.

I'm not good with money but if I had to guess what a fish the size of blimp would go for then probably a lot.

What's a blimp?

It's like a plane.

[ Korra that is not how to explain things. ]

Don't you use one of them for woodworking?

[Korra, you've lost him.]

Why would you do woodworking in the air?

[ This conversation has self-destructed. ]

...I think you've lost me, love. Are we talking about the same thing?

[Sailing over the top of his head like the aforementioned plane.]

I'm guessing not airplanes?

Air... planes?

I'm talking about the things you'd find a carpenter using to shape wood. How'd you use air for that?

Biplanes. They're flying contraptions, specifically.

[Have a low whistle, Edward.]

Somebody's popular.

[Right-oh. So this communicator thing isn't all stuff and nonsense. Edward's finding his groove here.]

Well if this is how they treat the popular ones, I'd love to see how they welcome them they don't like.

Guns. Big ones. That's my guess, anyway.

Wouldn't be the first time someone pulled 'em on me. I might even go far enough to call it nostalgic.

Yeah? What's a fisherman doin' gettin' guns pointed at him? You a fish thief or somethin'?

Ain't no profit in pilfering fish as far as I can tell, mate. I used to be a naval man, the risk of coming under Spanish fire was part of the package.

[...it's not the entire truth but never mind.]

Oh, Navy guy. Cool. I knew a couple old Army guys back home. What was up with Spain? Were they pickin' fights? Like Russia here? Where you from, anyway? Don't recognize your accent.

I'm Welsh by birth. Swansea. But my father's an Englishman, we all wound up in Bristol before I went to sea. Might have diluted the old accent a little.

[Here's a grin.]

And we were at war with Spain and her mates for about fifteen years, give or take.

Swansea. [Said like he knows the place. He so doesn't know the place. The Welsh, though... Aren't they those sheep guys? Probably shouldn't ask.]

Did you beat 'em? Spain and their... mates?

[Probably best not to get into Welsh jokes. It leads to head-butting.]

Aye, and that put an end to my commission [ahem]. We thumped 'em and sent 'em scampering back to Spain.

Right, right. Your government permission slip to screw with the enemy. [He's seen a couple naval warfare movies over the years. But only a couple.]

Well, uh... congrats on the victory, dude. And sorry you went from kickin' ass to dealin' with people who are... super worried about fish feelings?

It's a load of bollocks if you ask me. Man's got to eat and there's no shortage of fish in the sea.

[But as for the asskicking side of things... well. Never say never.]

You wouldn't happen to know if there's anything else I need to mind my manners about? Treading on ants, swatting flies, snapping twigs?

Probably all of the above. Lot of people with too much time on their hands and instead of fillin' that time with fun stuff, they go around complainin' 'bout anything that doesn't sit just right with 'em. People catchin' fish, dogs on leashes, folks enjoyin' a nice burger. Best bet is to learn to smile and nod at 'em. Or... I guess the punchin' thing works, too.

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