Chapter 6 [Video]

[thebestseller]

[Someone's bored at work again- or at least acting bored.]

I just had this ad come across my desk for approval.

[Castle holds up a printed page:]



I wonder what sort of flavors it comes in? Scotch, perhaps? Beef? Venison? GUNPOWDER?

[[OOC: Thanks to Your Kickstarter Sucks and my Plurklist for the inspiration.]]

Comments

[thebestseller]

Dude Stick- for when you need a sticky substance on your lips.

[cuff]

Slap that on the label and you'll be good to go. Whole horde's of guys shellin out the big bucks.

[thebestseller]

All for a stick to put in their mouths. Or on them, anyway. I wonder how many guys are going to buy this and not catch the innuendo?

[cuff]

If they don't get it, someone'll make sure to point it out to em sooner or later. Might as well call it a dick stick and be done with it.

[thebestseller]

[Castle snorts.] And make the bulge at one end of the packaging a bit more obvious. You know, really drive it home.

[cuff]

[ Oh my god he's trying to be serious here but... failing. And grinning. ] Then you're asking for a whole different kinda marketing scheme.

[thebestseller]

And yet, even so, I'm sure someone wouldn't get it. Which is why such products exist.

[cuff]

Cause people are fifty different kinds of stupid on any given day. Even though we all know some tactical black makes the man.

[thebestseller]

See, the tactical black is why they wouldn't get it. They'd be more likely to think of, like, a gun barrel or something.

[cuff]

Cause we all know how the first thing we think of after chapstick is countin off rounds.

[thebestseller]

Yeeehaw. Go to the range, shoot a few rounds, then put some Dude Stick on for that baby-soft feel.

[cuff]

What's that, before or after you polish your boots? Cowboy if you're extra fancy.

[thebestseller]

After the boot-polishing. It really finishes off the rough and tumble look when you put on your gunpowder-flavored Dude Stick.

[cuff]

[ Oh my dear god you've actually made him laugh. ]

Nothing beats a day at the ranch like ending it with a dude stick. [ Oh no, that is so much worse, he's so immature. ] Says the guy dating a dude. It's like those old cigarette commercials. But less deadly.

[thebestseller]

[Castle gives a thumbs-up.]

The innuendo possibilities are indeed endless. I think I will stop there, though- I don't want to go too far.

[cuff]

Go too far and the whole thing just gets lame. Innuendo's one'a those walking the careful bridge things. Too much and you stop being funny and start being that weirdo. Still- you gonna let the thing go through?

[thebestseller]

Most likely- I figure there's got to be a market for it SOMEWHERE. Especially here, since people know my magazine's imPort-run. They'll scoop it right up.

[cuff]

Wanna say they'll be doing it for the whole humorous value, since it's got it in, y'know, spades and clubs and the whole deck. But i'm guessing they'll be getting it to get it.

[thebestseller]

Pretty much. I don't quite have Oprah-levels of influence, but imPorts who love heroes have a tendency to snap up anything my magazine advertises or endorses.

[cuff]

Ahh, good ol' advertising. Selling people shit since the beginning of time just cause'a naked ladies and superheroes. Gets 'em every time.