A thrill would be secondary at most, in terms of motivational catalysts.
[Which was something of a lie -- while his ache of thrill wasn't the pure adrenaline rush, Chilton enjoyed a sense of hollow godhood when he could control the variables. Especially if those variables were people more influential, more formidable than he was. That uprising of the natural hierarchy suited his ego and his specified identity.
When reality complied, he was a pleased man.]
It would come as no surprise to you for me to confess that I have an agenda.
[Chilton doesn't see those hot coals, he won't feel the rising temperature until it's much too late; he savors his savior, and the implied brotherhood between them, he wanted recognition far too much. He wanted it badly, continues to crave it, and doesn't know where the heat begins to fracture him.]
But we are not discussing me now, not in depth. Are we?
no subject
[Which was something of a lie -- while his ache of thrill wasn't the pure adrenaline rush, Chilton enjoyed a sense of hollow godhood when he could control the variables. Especially if those variables were people more influential, more formidable than he was. That uprising of the natural hierarchy suited his ego and his specified identity.
When reality complied, he was a pleased man.]
It would come as no surprise to you for me to confess that I have an agenda.
[Chilton doesn't see those hot coals, he won't feel the rising temperature until it's much too late; he savors his savior, and the implied brotherhood between them, he wanted recognition far too much. He wanted it badly, continues to crave it, and doesn't know where the heat begins to fracture him.]
But we are not discussing me now, not in depth. Are we?