Considering I really don't want to imagine him doing any of those things--

[ Of course, just saying one doesn't want to imagine something typically does cause one to imagine that exact something. It's awful, truly, and she's immediately torn between making a disgusted noise or laughter.

Laughter, naturally, wins out. ]

Oh Maker, no, he would curl up in terror at the sight of Hilda, I'm sure. It would be terrible!