text | posted just after midnight on 12/5

[wonk]

so i ran the numbers and i turned 17 back in like september but my birthdays still today so fuck it

the baddest bitch yall know turned SEVENTEEN FOREVER AGO BUT WERE CELEBRATING IT

wait

fuck

its past midnight goddamn it

i turned 17 yesterday


























































folks its come 2 my attention that theres been some serious errors and id like 2 apologize and ask 4 ur patience while i get to the bottom of this nonsense


(jokes aside give me kittens + kitten themed objects if ur into gift giving

if not do something nice for a cat pls)

Comments

text.

[glowsferatu]

see at least acknowledging that the date isnt chronologically accurate yet still keeping the old one as the time of observance i could understand
at least you arent tossing time out with the bathwater
but im not actually going to say congratulations on being more mature than dave because thats not really a compliment

instead ill say happy birthday

[wonk]

fucking wow kanaya do i shittalk YOUR child in front of ur very eyes on your own birthday

i mean i probly couldnt even if i wanted 2 because thats also technically my handiwork BUT STILL


actually when is ur birthday

[glowsferatu]

chronal proximity i think made the comparison inevitable
im merely stating the facts as ive observed them

but my birthday
which is kind if a moot point and only noted out of convenience to a world with a very small sun
is may 15
for now
it was in september at some point
but when you have to rethink your standard measurements for time you learn to improvise after youve desynchronized again

[wonk]

consider: ur babygrub is in some way related 2 dave

half siblings maybe? cousins?

1/2

[glowsferatu]

only if he delivery is really contingent on the familial relation
which as i understand it isnt quite true in humans
isnt there some sort of large bird associated with the practice

[glowsferatu]

[ After a quick google search. ]

roxy does this mean youre a stork

[dormition]

Happy Birthday.

Where should I direct gifts to?

[No, they've never met before. Yes, Minato is giving her a birthday present.]

[wonk]

heropa 001

who are u?

[Roxy's always down to meet new people though.]

[dormition]

I'll leave it in your mailbox.

I'm Minato.

[Minato works at a mall, so it's not any difficulty for him to pick out a present for her based on three simple facts: she likes pink, she likes cats, and Christmas is approaching. The next day he stops by on the way home (he lives and works in Heropa, so it's convenient) and leaves a neatly wrapped present in said mailbox. The wrapping paper is a royal, iridescent blue, because it's what he'd had left over from Riku's birthday just recently.]

[wonk]

[Roxy sends this as fast as possible, followed by a selfie of her wearing it and grinning wildly.]U HSVE EXCELELNT TASTE THANK U SO MUCH MINATO

[dormition]

[That right there, typos and all, makes him smile down at his phone. Minato is really simple at heart-- he just wants to see other people happy.]

You're welcome. It looks good on you. Are you planning on doing anything for Christmas?

[wonk]

probs just gonna stay in w the fam

make a pie or smth idk

i havent had pumpkin pie in forever bc i used to eat it all the time and i got sick of it

itd be cool 2 go back

[dormition]

I've never had pumpkin pie. Is it a seasonal food?

[wonk]

more fall than winter but yeah u get ur pumpkin pies for christmas sometimes

i grew up around a lot of pumpkins

like

infinite pumpkins

so 4 a while i was kinda not touching pumpkins

but its been a while so im comin back

[dormition]

Why were there infinite pumpkins?

If they sell it at the grocery store, I'll pick one up and try it.

text;

[oathkeeping]

I always wondered about that. Like, if your birthday is the week before you get ported in, but then the calendar here makes it your birthday again, does it count or not?

[wonk]

yes in the sense that its the anniversary of the day u were born but u only actually age by however long its been since ur last one

thats why i turned 17 in september even though my actual anniversary of being born was yesterday

[oathkeeping]

If you wanted, you could use it as an excuse to have cake twice, though.

[wonk]

u can do that anyway if ur not a weenie

[oathkeeping]

What's being a weenie got to do with it?

[A moment later]

I'm not a weenie.

[wonk]

well then u obvs dont need 2 wait for the ritual of birthdays to have cake whenever tf you want

[oathkeeping]

I'm just saying. Sometimes people like to be nosy and tell you you're having too much if you don't have a good reason.

[wonk]

sounds like something a weenie would say

[oathkeeping]

Maybe you know that because you're a weenie.

[nitidus]

Happy birthday! I would be celebrating also, but I have to adhere to Kanaya's math skills and therefore cannot.

[wonk]

this is a false assertion that u believe rose

u are the seer of light

u can do what you want and nobody can stop you

[nitidus]

This is all very true, but also: would you argue with Kanaya?

[wonk]

rose do u know a single person who i WOULDNT argue with???

bc if so i have given u completely the wrong impression of me and i need to start it the fuck over