video;

[dogsled]

[ The face that comes on screen is handsome, warm and charming, if a little knotted with some kind of concern. There's a point to all this, but right now he's just going to get on and talk, after kneading his eyebrow for a moment. ]

I was wondering if... I realize things have been quite terrible, recently, and therefore this question is perhaps not in the current mood of things, but I want to ask an, I suppose, unrelated question. No, I mean, I don't suppose. It is unrelated. [ He's waffling, and obviously nervous. ]

Traditions are important to all of us. I don't have many of my own. I suppose in my case it would be kinder to call them neuroses. Everything must be in its place, and if there are rules then they are there for a reason, and ought to be followed. In the case of tradition there is a certain degree of choice. You can abandon the traditions of home, or those of your parents, if you so choose, or perhaps adopt those of other cultures...

[ He's not really off topic. This is, surprisingly, what he's trying to talk about. ]

The Inuit don't really have a traditional marriage celebration, for example. Some absorbed the traditions of Christianity, over the years, but certainly there wasn't much. I suppose the kidnap of the bride could be considered a tradition but it's hardly appropriate, nor so widespread as...never mind.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is...so long as two people love each other, the traditions shouldn't matter, should they? Love doesn't come from gold rings, after all, it's only resembled by them. Although I do agree that the exchange is a beautiful tradition, it's no more correct than--an exchange of furs, for example, or the exchange of bird of paradise feathers by the tribes of Papua New Guinea.

Perhaps--perhaps it would be more comforting to know a little more about your own traditions, whatever they may be. Not necessarily in terms of the act of matrimony but...anything that would qualify, I suppose, as a relic of home. Are there things you simply have to do? Even such simple a thing as a bedtime ritual would count, I suppose.

Comments

video;

[newwaver]

My god.

[What is this? This is a mess.]

Just tell them you love them. Please don't kidnap anyone.

video;

[dogsled]

Well I... Kidnapping them would rather be something of a moot point, I think.

[ He is a huge mess though. It's not on purpose. ]

video;

[newwaver]

Good. I hear most people find that rather off putting.

video;

[dogsled]

Well, perhaps to our modern way of thinking it would seem abhorrent. It's not an altogether unromantic notion, after all didn't Hades steal away Persephone in just such a fashion?

[ He's not really helping. ]

video;

[textualhealing]

[Oh my God, so many wooooords. It's amazing he's still here by the end of it.]

Marriage is a lie.

video;

[dogsled]

[ How do you ever get out of bed with such negativity, Jeff? ]

It's a lie?

video;

[textualhealing]

[He feeds off it, duh.]

It never lasts. It's a promise between two people that neither of them can keep.

video;

[dogsled]

[ He squints, hesitantly. ]

What is it about monogamy that frightens you?

[video]

[hands4healing]

[Howdy stranger. It's been a long time.]

I don't think I have any rituals. I take the dogs out before I go to bed and brush my teeth and hair before I get into bed but that's important.

[Who wants to go to bed with messy hair, gross teeth, and be woken up by a pair of dogs to go out in the middle of the night?]

But we don't really have a tradition or ritual when it comes to getting married. Generally, the couple goes and signs their names together at the registrar and they're married. Sometimes there's a dance or a feast afterward. Sometimes not. It depends on the couple and the time of year.

[video]

[dogsled]

[ It has, but he's always delighted to see her, and he smiles immediately. ]

That's what I've been trying to explain. There's no one way that these things are done, it's up to the couple in question.

[video]

[hands4healing]

And sometimes their culture. I have a friend, when he marries, it will be so his whole country can see - but he's son to an emperor and wants to take over the country.

[Ah, Ling.]

So if you were going to marry, how would you want to do it?

[video]

[dogsled]

In that case, then the son is really marrying the country. It's a kind of peace-offering; a statement. [ His tone is musing, thoughtful. She has a friend like that--it's fascinating to him.

But then he blushes, and coughs. ] That is, rather the problem. I don't know how I'd do it. It's not as though I have any traditions that I'm...wed to.

video

[quaerit]

[ Well, this is convoluted. It's possible that's what draws Gansey's interest in the first place, particularly given that it's also quite intricate. You, sir, are a nerd.

He likes nerds. ]

Traditions vary greatly between cultures, never mind between worlds. You'll inherit certain beliefs and prejudices from your parents, or from your upbringing in general. There's not a lot that you can do to prevent that, even when you want to.

[ He understands, certainly. He's been trying to escape his parent programming for years. ]

Beyond that, it's fair to say everyone has their rituals. Mine mostly involve finding ways to wait out insomnia. That has very little to do with marriage, though. Is that what really concerns you? You want to be married, here?

video

[dogsled]

[ He's a huge nerd, or whatever the appropriate alternative is to a person who knows a lot about everything but is also incredibly athletic... ]

I've observed traditions from a variety of cultures, but I don't think I'd call any of them mine. But...yes, you absorb things, I suppose, from all the influences in your life. I suppose I often wonder about how the different influences in other peoples lives effect how they look at things, too. Curiosity about that is a flaw of mine.

[ That's why he reads. Because he can't travel. ]

But yes, marriage does concern me. It is what comes after engagement, as I understand it.

video

[quaerit]

[ These two are going to have a lot in common. ]

I wouldn't call it a flaw. Not everyone has the interest to examine the world around them like that, but it's worth doing. Cultural appreciation doesn't mean cultural appropriation. Knowledge for its own sake is a good thing.

[ Then he smiles, and lifts his shoulders. ]

But that doesn't help you now. Marriage is typically the next step. The vow made typically lasts a lifetime, however. I'm not sure that's something you can promise, here.

video

[dogsled]

Learning has few limits. Sleeping, I've discovered, is the greatest limitation--and running out of books in the library.

[ Every. Single. Book. ]

Some would say that the vow lasts beyond a lifetime. For the Inuit, a marriage might only last a few seasons, before circumstances part them. I suppose much of any vow could be considered to be symbolic, more than wholly honest, and in our case I rather hope that it's...symbolic of our hope to recognize our affection for each other in our own lifetimes, too. Does that make any sense?

video;

[givetheslip]

Where I come from, love rarely has anything to do with marriage. It didn't for me.

video;

[dogsled]

[ He'd expected responses like this, and certainly she wouldn't be the only one. Given where he'd grown up, arranged marriages weren't that unusual. There's no pity in his voice, per se. It would be insincere of him to pity. ]

What did you marry for?

video;

[givetheslip]

I married the man my father chose for me. There was no other option but the nunnery, at the time.

[And Maria would have made a worse nun than she did a wife.]

voice

[bonely]

[ That was a really roundabout way to ask a question.

So what does Skullman say? ]

Why did you need so many words to ask one question?

[ Nailed your usage of social skill, buddy. ]

As for traditions. [ Does he have any? He reviews his memories each day, but is that really a tradition? It's something he does for upkeep. From what this person has said, it seems to be something that implies connectivity with something else. ]

When it rains, I'll walk around. [ Nailed it. ]

voice

[dogsled]

I suppose I just felt like I needed to provide more context to my...question.

[ Being accused of using too many words? Wouldn't be the first time. ]

You walk around in the rain? So the tradition you're discussing is...getting wet?

[bonely]

You revealed personal information about yourself. This is desired? [ He sounds faintly curious. ]

The rain is similar to the rain I saw at home. It is a reminder.

I do not have a connection to 'culture' the same way a human would, so my 'rituals' do not match a human's. [ He has very little experience of the world, after all, and is further separated by being what he is. ]

[cuff]

[ Ohhh buddy, hitting up the network when he's walking the dogs for their evening romp (aka the last call for potty breaks) is an entirely unfair thing to do. Especially when he isn't entirely clueless to the ways of the world; namely, to Fraser's rambling antics. It's not like he's incapable of having a conversation about this sort of thing, and really, consulting everyone else possible before him is an excellent way to make him pout.

It just takes him a little while after he gets home, mulling about with settling down before he makes the discovery. He has access to the network too, did you possibly forget that. Excuse him while he looms closer, hanging about with arms folded while he waits for the prime opportunity to interrupt Fraser's silence. ]

Fraser. Somethin you wanna talk about?

[dogsled]

[ He's mulling over some of what he discussed earlier, and he hasn't realized yet that Ray has reflected on the network at all, so, blissfully ignorant, he's settled down with Diefenbaker half across his lap, and his empty journal in front of him--not that he can actually write. It's difficult to write when someone is looming.

He looks up, at last, when Ray breaks the ominous silence. ]

Such as, Ray? [ Playing innocent? ]

[cuff]

[ Nope, not gonna work this time. Innocent his ass. Ray cocks his head to the side, narrowing his gaze as he stares at Fraser, as if peering at him is somehow going to make him cough it up. Unlikely, but a man can dream. He's far too impatient, though and halfway inclined to stomp a foot irritably. ]

You're seriously gonna give me that? Like you don't know.