maskormenace

[ Kitty's voice is a little strained. ]

Right, so...Hullo, Kitty here. And we've already had a bit of input on glorious-war and glorious-war-but-do-be-careful-about-it-because-the-Russians-are-a-bit-scary, and at this point everyone's probably like shut it won't you. But for anyone who's still out there and still listening, just...

This is hard for us. We've lost our friends. That's scary. But remember that no real harm has been done yet. They've been kidnapped, but no one's been killed. The situation right now is not that bad. But it has the potential to get so much worse if we let loose our anger. Remember, the weapons in the Russians' possession - and in the Americans' - can scorch the earth. Kill everyone. Everyone. It won't just be us who go if we escalate this war: it'll also be the little kids in the school down the street from you, and the girl who always remembers your order at the malt shop, and the bloody...puppies in the animal shelter.

So those of you who are thinking that it's time to go burn down Russian cities, or join up with the army as they march to destroy our enemies - close your eyes and think of the entire baskets of puppies and kittens that'll get scorched into nothing but atoms when this war gets stepped up and the bombing starts. Okay? So instead, maybe let's give thought to negotiation. Forgiveness. Stepping down the violence. Some of the kidnapped have gotten word out - I bet you anything they'll agree.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Whoa, holy shit. ]

Good lord. Sorry, I do want to...Does that mean - You've lived this long because you were turned into a vampire, I assume?

You got it. [more or less. it's right as far as she knows.] Things got better eventually, though - I mean, you've talked to Bubblegum, right?

[ A nod. ]

Yeah. What about her?

[Oh. She'd hoped that would be indicative all on its own.]

New kinds of peeps started showing up after the war. Built things up again. [Mutation, uplifted animals, weird magic shit... the Mushroom Bomb left a mark.] Bonnie's been working on the Candy Kingdom for centuries, redeveloping old tech, it's...

[... anyway.]

But it's not gonna work like that here, is it? [she's gotten the distinct impression from how people talk about nuclear war here that there's not gonna be any bouncing back, no impact like the fallout had at home. nothing to come up and build a new civilization.]

Well, we can't know, can we. [ She takes a breath, and says, firmly: ] And hopefully we won't find out. No nuclear warheads going off at all. No magic or any of it. Just a sheepish 'right, we were a lot of idiots, weren't we' from both sides.

[Marceline nods, a little vacantly.]

Yeah. We can do this. Get everyone back, get these idiots to back down...

Right. 'Cause we're smart and persuasive. No one can stand up against us when we put our minds to it, yeah?

I'm not so great with persuasion, but I've got some tricks up my sleeve. [She drags a hand through her hair, before looking back at the camera.]

You, though? Yeah, you'll out-argue the whole room. [or just baffle them with bullshit. either way.]

[ A self-conscious laugh. ]

God, let's hope. I've never actually done proper public speaking before, truth be told.

What, for real?

Yeah. Just stuff on the network. And I don't think that really counts.

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