maskormenace

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[ Kitty's voice is a little strained. ]

Right, so...Hullo, Kitty here. And we've already had a bit of input on glorious-war and glorious-war-but-do-be-careful-about-it-because-the-Russians-are-a-bit-scary, and at this point everyone's probably like shut it won't you. But for anyone who's still out there and still listening, just...

This is hard for us. We've lost our friends. That's scary. But remember that no real harm has been done yet. They've been kidnapped, but no one's been killed. The situation right now is not that bad. But it has the potential to get so much worse if we let loose our anger. Remember, the weapons in the Russians' possession - and in the Americans' - can scorch the earth. Kill everyone. Everyone. It won't just be us who go if we escalate this war: it'll also be the little kids in the school down the street from you, and the girl who always remembers your order at the malt shop, and the bloody...puppies in the animal shelter.

So those of you who are thinking that it's time to go burn down Russian cities, or join up with the army as they march to destroy our enemies - close your eyes and think of the entire baskets of puppies and kittens that'll get scorched into nothing but atoms when this war gets stepped up and the bombing starts. Okay? So instead, maybe let's give thought to negotiation. Forgiveness. Stepping down the violence. Some of the kidnapped have gotten word out - I bet you anything they'll agree.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mostly boredom, let's be honest here. [ shruuuuugs ] And also, might I point out, Russia's big! And Russia's far away. This isn't like forming a lynch mob to go hang up the Muslims or the gay kid or whoever America's prejudiced against today, you don't have to worry about 'stop the violence' or whatever, you have to worry about ennui.

What's that supposed to mean? What's ennui got to do with it?

[ also, what does the word 'ennui' mean take pity on this poor girl with her poor middle-school education ]

[ enjoy his use of big words ]

We're going to rescue them eventually. That's a given, considering that there are people here who have laser eyes and who can teleport across the world or what have you. But how long will it take? That's the problem. This isn't some terrible spy movie, a bunch of ragtag imPorts aren't going to liberate our captive fellows by themselves. They're going to need help and who knows how long that will take. So, status quo. If every day for two months, you hear a report about how nothing's changed in the hostage situation, you'll get bored. It simply becomes part of the daily grind. And when it becomes part of the daily grind, people are going to be slower to action.

So I say, yes Russia's big and yes it'll take a while, especially because the army seems unwilling to take actual action, but sooner rather than later? Bomb the hell out of the Russians. It'll get your friends back sooner, it'll squash the potential for inaction, and at least it'll be entertaining.

[ Kitty's voice, when she responds, is brittle. ]

Dorian. That is exactly what I don't want. I'd sooner they stay in captivity longer and millions of people not die than they're rescued quickly and people die.

[ this.....is 50% Dorian being a shit to Kitty and 50% Dorian actually thinking 'hey, at least nuclear war will spice things up a bit' ]

Well that's not going to happen. Once the war machine starts up, it's hard for it to stop. Hopefully Russia realizes that they're outgunned and outmanned soon enough—that's the only way it'll be thousands instead of millions dying.

[ God he gets under her skin. ]

That's shit. That's complete shit. The only way to go about things is by not killing anyone at all. I know that's sort of hard for you to grasp but that's how things are.

And I know it's hard for you to grasp, but the Western world runs on war. Hell, war's what built America in the first place! People are going to die. The sooner you accept it, the easier it will be.

Oh, it runs on war, does it. Well, that explains how nothing ever gets done when we're not at war, huh? Only, hold on, things do.

And then a war happens soon after. Peacetime is simply what happens between wars.

No. Wars are explosions of insanity.

An explosion of insanity! How pulpy and exceedingly overdramatic of you. War's business.

Oh, really? Then how come it bankrupts countries and leaves economies crippled for decades after? That doesn't seem like a sound business model.

Which countries? Because it certainly doesn't bankrupt the UK and certainly won't bankrupt the US.

Oh, yeah. 'Cause definitely down here in the Southern parts of the U.S., they're definitely not still feeling the economic effects of the Civil War some hundred-fifty-odd years later, right. And immediately afterwards, they were in such a brilliant position.

Who cares about that part?

Even if you don't care, that completely kills your proposition that it's good business.

For the loser it's not. But the winners?

[ She shakes her head. ]

Unemployment gets reduced because of the boom in jobs caused by war. But all those jobs get eliminated after the war ends - either that, or the country gets drawn into a cycle of unnecessary military spending to prop up the jobs, leading to a subsequent channeling of public funds into military enterprises, which in turn leads to depressed spending in education and other programs which leads to a poor long-term outlook.

[ he.....totally stops paying attention halfway through because wooooords ] You must be reading this straight from wikipedia. No actual human being talks like that.

[ She clucks in annoyance. ]

I am not! I'm reading off a rumblr post I wrote.

Same thing! [ said with a little laugh ] Friday night with Kitty Jones, looking up fun wikipedia facts about unnecessary military spending and putting it up on the internet so she'll seem smart.

No. To start conversations.

While seeming smart in the process.

I don't care about seeming smart!

[ She intensely, intensely cares about seeming smart. ]

I bet that's how you chat up people at bars. 'Hey there babe, want to talk about income inequalities in the workplace and the lack of proper sun shielding in developing countries?'

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