1. ➟ video

[heymcfly]

[ The video starts with Marty holding the communicator really, really awkwardly. Behind him you can probably see a line of freestyle soda machines behind him. Marty has a dollar in his hand, but apparently something's not working for him. ]

Okay. So...ah, I'm Marty. I guess I'm new? I don't know if you gotta introduce yourselves or anything when you make a new one of these, but...

[ He gives the communicator a sheepish kind of shrug, unsure of whether he wants to feel stupid holding a camera like this, or feeling uncomfortable because people were looking at him weird. ] ...right. So I got a question. I guess.

So these touch vendor-things are everywhere, right? How the hell do you get your soda?

[ Marty turns the video to the machine, where he presses his finger against 'diet coke' on the main screen and then mashing it against the PUSH button. ] I press diet coke on the menu and it takes me to this thing where it shows me all kinda of flavors, but it won't give me my soda!

[ joke's on you marty, you have to select the big fat diet coke button before you can get your soda, duh. that's probably why people are looking at you weird.

Eventually he just lightly taps the toe of his shoe against the bottom of the machine. ]

This thing sucks. I don't even like coke.

Comments

[heymcfly]

I, I mean...I can drink coffee. Rather have a soda.

[ cats can't talk. but she's talking like normal!

Maybe she has had this come up to her a lot. ] I mean...y'know? Like do you like tea and stuff?

[rathercommon]

[ With mock-huffiness: ]

Well, that's a stereotype, isn't it. Just because I'm an English cat, you assume I like tea?

[heymcfly]

[ OOPS. Well.. ]

Uhhh....

[ He doesn't know what to say! ]

Aaah...I, I mean? Maybe? You don't gotta like tea, right? Tea's kinda shitty anyway, right? Can you even drink it?

Since you're a cat and everything.

[rathercommon]

[ Huffily: ]

Excuse you! I love tea, actually. Don't insult tea.

[heymcfly]

[ This is going so wrong. ]

Sorry, sorry! Guess I'm not a tea guy.

I'll try coffee, anyway. Sorry to diss on your tea, or whatever.

[rathercommon]

I hope you intend to do something to apologize to me.

[heymcfly]

Apologize? [ He's so drawing a blank. ]

Aah, yeah. An apology.

Look. I'm really sorry that I dissed your tea, or whatever. It was kinda rude of me. We're not tossing your stuff over ships anymore so I guess I really gotta...stop that, I guess. Okay?

[ He tried. ]

[rathercommon]

[ Wow. ]

That was a terrible apology.

[heymcfly]

[ In a very, very low tone: ] Jesus Christ.

Alright. I'm sorry I made fun of your tea. I'm just...a little overwhelmed, alright?

[rathercommon]

[ A pause, and then a little laugh. ]

I'm not actually angry at you. I'm just giving you crap to make you suffer. It was sort of funny. Sorry.

[heymcfly]

Tricked by a cat. Go figure.

[ He tries to smile, but he's not sure if it shows or not. Honestly, his smile is more like a grimace. ] I coulda been a real big asshole. Asked if I could make it up to you by givin' you treats, or something.

[rathercommon]

You're not saying that it would be assholish to offer treats, are you?

[heymcfly]

Wait, what? I mean, unless you don't like treats. Then I guess it would be assholeish?

I thought cats liked treats though. You do, right?

[rathercommon]

Oh, very much so. Catnip, for example. You'd really be surprised by just how lovely catnip is.

[heymcfly]

Oh, right. Catnip.

I don't really have any cats, so I don't know what you like and stuff. Other than milk. You like that too, right?

[rathercommon]

Oh, no. That's actually a bit of a myth. Our systems don't actually process dairy so well. Fish is very welcome, though.

[heymcfly]

Wait, why? Who the hell thought up the idea to give you guys milk then?

...But fish is good. What about string, you guys like string?

[rathercommon]

Oh, string is excellent. Obviously it's not prey, but it looks like prey, and that makes it fun.

[heymcfly]

Right. And is it true you guys are jerks all the time? I mean, when you wanna be, I guess.

[rathercommon]

[ She laughs, really genuine and loud. ]

Well, what do you think? I suppose I've been a bit of a jerk to you, haven't I.