maskormenace | O2 👶 VIDEO;

[technically, baba marta was a month ago and in another country. but it’s april fool in the united states which is close enough. according to his companion, this is better than shooting homeless people with paintball guns. when the video shudders into view, 10-year-old richard gansey iii stands on a heropa beach lit by mitsubishi headlights. the little boy is festooned in birds, a hilariously tall stork standing on his left shoulder, half a dozen tiny swallowtails running down his right arm. he looks very solemn and alarmingly adorable. from behind the cellphone camera, a voice (kavinsky’s) (drunk) (not more than usual) calls out:] Okay mini-Dick, telling your loving public what gives.

[ Dick is, in fact, more interested in the swallows than the camera. He seems relatively at peace with the stork, even when it starts to climb from his shoulder to the top of his head, but the swallows are running along his arms, and he has to keep moving to give them somewhere to go. ]

Are you sure the birds won't be scared of the fireworks? I don't want to make them -

[ Then he does look up, and sees the red light on Kavinsky's phone. His eyes widen. ]

We're already live?!

[ Concern is instantly replaced with the kind of smile that hints this is not his first photoshoot. ]

Hi, everyone! Joseph wants to tell all of you about the Baby Martha.

[ He pauses, looking expectantly at the boy offscreen. ]

Motherfucker I said no name-- fine. Fine, [kavinsky's disembodied voice is annoyed, but cussing at a smol child is just regular kavinsky. he never got pr lessons.] Baba Marta is a celebration of Spring. Life and renewal, bitches! March is a grandma who spends all winter fucking, shakes out her broke-ass mattress to make the last big snow, and the sun comes out when she smiles. [this is not the version you’re going to find in an encyclopedia. It’s also not child-safe. but everything is still mostly ok.] Me and homey here are bringing the Goddamn season.

[ Dick is wearing an expression of strong disapproval every time Kavinsky curses. It’s the kind of look you might see from your dad, which roughly translates as We’ve talked about this, son. But if they have, Kavinsky was clearly not listening, and Dick is not about to be put off by words alone. There are, after all, going to be fireworks. He was promised. ]

Okay, okay! Show them. Oh, wait.

[ One hand waves at the stork, getting it to fly, and then Dick starts to gather the swallows into the relative safety of his hands. ]

Fuckin’ sweet. [and then the camera fumbles. kavinsky clamps gansey’s little head between his elbows and puts his hands over his own ears, so that the camera winds up with a weird, skewed shot of the sky. the next instant, fireworks rip out of the mortar embedded nearby in the sand and up into the night overhead. deafening. red and white. the imports of heropa might even hear it, the distant pop-pop that goes with the flash of smoke and color over the seaside sky, punctuating the boardwalk lights and saturday beach club music. birds soar! the video goes out.]

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[ Man, she looks so cool with her pushed back hair. He needs to sound impressive.

He folds his arms. ]

My name is Richard Campbell Gansey the Third.

[ Nailed it. Not even a little bit dorky. His grin probably is, though. ]

Okay, do me!

[ Haughtily: ]

I know that already.

[ And then there's a little ripple of power, and - sitting there, behind the camera, is Dick himself. A perfect copy of the ten-year-old boy - except for the fact that when she speaks, it's with her own voice. ]

Not too bad, right?

[ It looks just right! He knows it does, because she looks just like one of his clones, and he's seen plenty of those. He looks delighted. ]

That's so cool! Except, you still sound like you. You're way too British to be me.

[ Because that's the problem, and not the fact that she sounds singularly girly. ]

Well, how about this, then?

[ And another ripple of magic, and she turns into Adam. With, again, a girl's voice. ]

I suppose I'm too British for him, too, right?

[ Dick's eyes widen. And not just because Kitty managed to get Adam just right, but because this must mean she knows who Adam is! Why does she know who Adam is?! ]

Hey! That's my best friend! How'd you get his name!

[ She probably just asked for it, like any normal person would. ]

[ And back to her own face. ]

We met at the grocer's. And also...I knew him already.

You did?

[ What's a grocer's? British people are weird.

Anyway, staying on task here. Dick frowns at her. ]

You mean...before you were small?

[ A nod. ]

I knew you, too. I think.

[ Oh.

Oh, well, that's a worrying thing. What if he was embarrassing around her? ]

You did?

Joseph did, too. I'm really sorry, but I can't remember. Were we friends? You and me?

I'm pretty sure we were. Yeah.

[ She says that with confidence. Not in her memories, exactly - she doesn't actually feel confidence about any of her memories - but she speaks with confidence, because confidence makes you sound cool. ]

Anyway, it's okay if you don't remember. I'm not hurt.

But, I should remember you.

[ Because, let's be honest: she's not exactly forgettable. A girl from a world full of magic, who doesn't let anyone tell her what to do? He'd definitely remember her. ]

How old are you supposed to be?

I am thirteen and a half.

[ She scowls fiercely - not at him, but at her own fuzzy memories. ]

I remember being...a grown-up. But I also remember being really old. I think. So - I'm not sure.

I’m supposed to be seventeen. [ Says Dick, while conveniently not mentioning that he is only ten at present. He’d rather she not think about the massively insurmountable three and a half years between them. She’d just think he was some kid! He draws himself up, willing himself to be taller. ]

How old’s really old? Do you mean like, you’re thirty? [ He purses his lips. ] I don’t think you could be that old.

[ She shrugs. ]

I remember...looking in the mirror and seeing gray hair. And wrinkles. So - old. I guess. Like grandmother old.

[ Dick considers this. ]

So…you could be like my grandma?

[ He shakes his head, immediately dismissing this terrifying notion. ]

No way. You’re way too cool for that. It’s impossible.

Well, obviously I'm not your grandma. We'd have figured that out way before now.

[ She's well cheered, however, by that comment about her coolness. Yeah. Yeah. She is cool. ]

Anyway, it's weird. I'm a shapeshifter now, so maybe all I remember is making myself look old. Maybe as a disguise or something.

[ Oh. She's a shapeshifter. Yes, obviously. Dick's face clears, while the understanding that this explains everything spreads through him. Everyone has superpowers here. Even Dick. that makes total sense. ]

Yeah, that's got to be it. You were probably playing a trick on someone. I probably thought it was funny.

[ On this shapeshifting thing, though... ]

Can you turn into other people, too?

[ She nods. ]

Yeah. As long as I know their names. Why, do you want me to do someone?

[ That is so cool. Dick only needs to think for a minute. ]

Yeah! Yeah, do Adam! You know him, right?!

Oh. Yeah. I totally know him. Here -

[ And she closes her eyes, and then - poof. Adam's right there, grinning a very un-Adam-ish grin at Gansey. Somewhat disconcertingly, though, she does speak with her own voice. ]

Not too bad, right?

[ Wow, that’s –

well, almost perfect. Dick would know that isn’t Adam’s smile. That’s a wrong smile on Adam’s face. He’s not overly sure he likes it.

But, it is cool. ]

Yeah, you can do it! You could look like anyone.

[ A little pause. ]

Don’t be me, okay?

[ And "Adam" gives a short laugh, and shifts her weight, and asks: ]

Why not? What if I want to be?

[ Foiled again. ]

Cause I said no! I already have clones, so.

Hold on, you already have what?