O2 👶 VIDEO;

[pillz]

[technically, baba marta was a month ago and in another country. but it’s april fool in the united states which is close enough. according to his companion, this is better than shooting homeless people with paintball guns. when the video shudders into view, 10-year-old richard gansey iii stands on a heropa beach lit by mitsubishi headlights. the little boy is festooned in birds, a hilariously tall stork standing on his left shoulder, half a dozen tiny swallowtails running down his right arm. he looks very solemn and alarmingly adorable. from behind the cellphone camera, a voice (kavinsky’s) (drunk) (not more than usual) calls out:] Okay mini-Dick, telling your loving public what gives.

[ Dick is, in fact, more interested in the swallows than the camera. He seems relatively at peace with the stork, even when it starts to climb from his shoulder to the top of his head, but the swallows are running along his arms, and he has to keep moving to give them somewhere to go. ]

Are you sure the birds won't be scared of the fireworks? I don't want to make them -

[ Then he does look up, and sees the red light on Kavinsky's phone. His eyes widen. ]

We're already live?!

[ Concern is instantly replaced with the kind of smile that hints this is not his first photoshoot. ]

Hi, everyone! Joseph wants to tell all of you about the Baby Martha.

[ He pauses, looking expectantly at the boy offscreen. ]

Motherfucker I said no name-- fine. Fine, [kavinsky's disembodied voice is annoyed, but cussing at a smol child is just regular kavinsky. he never got pr lessons.] Baba Marta is a celebration of Spring. Life and renewal, bitches! March is a grandma who spends all winter fucking, shakes out her broke-ass mattress to make the last big snow, and the sun comes out when she smiles. [this is not the version you’re going to find in an encyclopedia. It’s also not child-safe. but everything is still mostly ok.] Me and homey here are bringing the Goddamn season.

[ Dick is wearing an expression of strong disapproval every time Kavinsky curses. It’s the kind of look you might see from your dad, which roughly translates as We’ve talked about this, son. But if they have, Kavinsky was clearly not listening, and Dick is not about to be put off by words alone. There are, after all, going to be fireworks. He was promised. ]

Okay, okay! Show them. Oh, wait.

[ One hand waves at the stork, getting it to fly, and then Dick starts to gather the swallows into the relative safety of his hands. ]

Fuckin’ sweet. [and then the camera fumbles. kavinsky clamps gansey’s little head between his elbows and puts his hands over his own ears, so that the camera winds up with a weird, skewed shot of the sky. the next instant, fireworks rip out of the mortar embedded nearby in the sand and up into the night overhead. deafening. red and white. the imports of heropa might even hear it, the distant pop-pop that goes with the flash of smoke and color over the seaside sky, punctuating the boardwalk lights and saturday beach club music. birds soar! the video goes out.]

Comments

[pillz]

1 way of goin crazy
when bad shit happen 2 u
specially at wars wit russians

[rathercommon]

Oh.

[ She considers this a moment, then answers, very practically: ]

I've got quite a lot to do, and I really haven't got the luxury of going mad. So I don't remotely intend to get ptsd, no. What about you? Are YOU in danger of getting it?

[pillz]

nah. if im batshit im some other kind. u know
lots 2 choose from
u met some crazy fucking grownups right? u have taht look
the
i coudlve come out worse, how hard they tried 2 fuck me up, look

[rathercommon]

[ She hesitates, then writes back: ]

That's right. I have. But I never let them win.

What about you? I'm not sure what look you have.

[pillz]

cokehead

[rathercommon]

I MEAN do you hate grown-ups too.

[pillz]

that a damn good question dwarfy

hmmmm.

lets go wit yes

[rathercommon]

Why?

[pillz]

cuz theyre people

[rathercommon]

So you don't like any people?

[pillz]

soetmtiems a lil bit for a little while
doesnt last
maybe a few hours. longer if im on the right shi t

[rathercommon]

Isn't that a bit lonely?

[pillz]

nah
that swhat sex is for
but u should wait til ur next bday

[yeah he's gross.]

[rathercommon]

[ yeah ew ]

Eugh no THANKS. I have NO interest in boys, thank you. Anyway that's a bit fucked, isn't it?

[pillz]

no
just me ;(

[get it.

get it.

inappropriately young kitty, do you get it]

[rathercommon]

Oh my god stop being dense. Fucked UP.

[pillz]

im jus showin not tellin baby girl
it doesnt bother me.
welcome to the world. fucked up.
why u hate old people anyway

[rathercommon]

Because they're closed-minded and stuck in their ways and the world never progresses because they can't get their heads out of their arses and realize they've broken EVERYTHING.

[pillz]

sounds like time 2 break more shit

[rathercommon]

I WILL. Don't think for a moment I'm scared of smashing EVERYTHING. My intention is to bring down the whole rotten system.

[pillz]

i can get bheind that
will u be needin a tire iron, smufrette
or c4

[rathercommon]

What's c4

[pillz]

toy that goes boom ;(

whispers no kitty no

can't stop won't stop

[rathercommon]

Is it magic?

[pillz]

more science tahn magic.

a lil bit of magic.

do u like magic lil girl