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[coppelganger]

[ Sarah is sprawled out on the couch in her apartment, holding onto a beer, and the communicator seems to be set up on the coffee table. She takes a drink before she says anything, closing her eyes briefly, and then looks askance at the camera. ]

So has anyone else been having bloody weird dreams the past couple days?

Comments

[doubleblind]

[It's a good thing Sarah doesn't mind, because Cosima's going to continue hugging her. This is something she wouldn't have dared to try with teenaged Sarah. She knows it would not have gone well.]

I know, I know. And you were great, in a totally different way. I'm glad I got to meet you... But it wasn't the same.

[coppelganger]

I was "great," huh.

[ Sarah doesn't remember everything about what happened during the week she was a teenager, but she remembers enough to seriously doubt that. ]

[doubleblind]

Maybe informative is a better word for it...

[puppydoctor]

You talk about it like you were the worst teenager in the history of the world.

[coppelganger]

Informative sounds interesting.

[coppelganger]

Not the worst, but I was pretty awful.

[puppydoctor]

[Okay, he isn't even going to pretend to deny that.]

... Would you have actually slept with a guy my age?

[coppelganger]

[ She shifts away from him a little bit, uncomfortable with the question, but... she did send him that email, a while back, right? ]

Yeah, if I thought I could get something out of it. Money or drugs... anything.

[puppydoctor]

[He senses her discomfort, and mentally kicks himself. His intention was curiosity, not judgment, but it was still thoughtless. Shifting a bit, he rubs her back.]

I hope you don't have to again. Ever.

[In a perfect life, he would assure her of it. He would promise to look out for her, for as long as he could. But they're in purgatory, and Sarah is like lightning. She would never stay with him that long, even if this place wasn't going to tear them apart eventually. He doesn't get to keep her and protect her. That other life will take her back, the life that's put all that pain in her eyes, and she'll forget that this dumb, sappy doctor ever wanted to give her the entire world.]

It's only ever been your circumstances that were bad, Sarah. Not you.

[doubleblind]

It wasn't informative in a bad way.

[resipiscent]

Mm. I mean... for me it's both. I don't get how I could have done the things I did, but I remember how I felt then, too.

[coppelganger]

My circumstances weren't that terrible, you know. My mum's a good person. We always had everything we needed. I was just...

[ She sighs. There aren't really the words to explain how she felt growing up—like she didn't belong anywhere, with anyone. How it made her want to abandon everybody before they left first, how she still feels like that at times. Finally she settles on, ] Angry.

[coppelganger]

[ She huffs a laugh, still disbelieving. ]

If you say so, Cos.

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[helladoomed]

Well clearly that's something that needs to change.

[Chloe's not a bad influence. Oh wait yes she is.]

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[coppelganger]

[ Sarah hands the joint over so Chloe can take a hit if she wants. ]

Try getting high when you've got an eight year old running around. [ Or when you're in the middle of dealing with a huge conspiracy. ]

[puppydoctor]

A lot of kids are, growing up that way. It's not fair.

[He presses a kiss to her forehead.]

But you're loved by so many people, now.

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[helladoomed]

Iiiiii am never going to have that problem.

[She hoped.]

[coppelganger]

Yeah, I know. [ She can't help but laugh a little bit. ] I started out an orphan and now I'm pretty sure I hold some sort of record for having the most siblings.

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[coppelganger]

Hey, you never know. I never imagined myself having kids.

[ She says it more like "accidents happen" than "you'll change your mind." ]

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[helladoomed]

Yeah well.

I'm pretty sure my girlfriend can't accidentally knock me up, Sarah.

[She snickers as she gets picks another joint off the pile.]

[puppydoctor]

After the North American Bullfrog, who has about twenty-four thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine.

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[coppelganger]

[ Sarah would be really surprised if Chloe and Max stayed together ~forever~ but she's not going to say anything about it. Let them come up with this on their own. It's not her business. ]

Yeah, true.

[coppelganger]

Oh, right. Can't forget the North American Bullfrog.

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[helladoomed]

[So would Chloe, in those unfortunately real moments, but she doesn't let herself think about it.]

Besides. I mean, I'd probably be good with a kid.

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[coppelganger]

You think so?

[ She doesn't doubt it. She's good with kids herself. It's just that there's a lot more to raising them than "being good" with them. ]