voice;

[fuckai]

[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]

So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.

How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?

Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.

I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?

[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]

Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.

[...............]




And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?

Comments

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Normally, Glitch may answer this kind of question but today is not that day.

Instead it's a loud, insufferable groan followed by: ]

Oh no, not you again!

[fuckai]

[Oh it's this asshole.]

Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. I can't deal with this crap right now.

[Hi, Glitch.]

[glitchinthesystem]

[ wow, no you don't this asshole him. YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE. ]

Why? Because you're an idiot who got stuck in a wall?

[ he's helping. ]

[fuckai]

[Hey, HE WASN'T THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS. FOR ONCE.]

I didn't get stuck in a wall! [Church you literally made a post about being stuck in a wall] I kicked it, and my fucking power decided to be a pain in the ass!

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Yeah, well, shush. The grown up is talking.

The grown up being Glitch.

Still, he snorts a little at Church's explanation. ]

So, basically what you're saying is, your power stuck you in a wall? Pffft, loser.

[fuckai]

[UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! This little shit is so annoying.]

Shut. Up! I've had this power for literally an hour. Give me a goddamn break.

[glitchinthesystem]

Nah, nah I won't. Do you need someone to pull your roboass at cause I'm sure I could TRY.

[fuckai]

I'M NOT A ROBOT! [Look, it's just an automatic reaction at this point.] And no. Fuck off. I'll do it myself.

[glitchinthesystem]

Uh huh. Sure. You believe both those things.

So how STUCK are we talking here?

[fuckai]

[There's a few seconds of almost inaudible muttering and grumbling as Church debates just hanging up on this asshole kid.]

.... My leg is fused up to the knee.

[glitchinthesystem]

[ It takes so much willpower to not snort loudly from laughter. Oh this is too perfect. ]
Quite a predicament. Okay, I'm feeling nice. Where are you, I'll see what I can do.

[fuckai]

SHUT UP!! [Church that is not the way to get someone to help] I already said, I don't need your help!

Besides, even if I told you where I was you'd probably only make it worse. So no. Fuck off.

[glitchinthesystem]

I'm the guy who can do anything with fucking metal. Do you really think I could make this any worse than what you've done already?

[fuckai]

[.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... wait what]



You can do what with metal?

[glitchinthesystem]

I can do what I want to it. You know, MAAAAAAGNETISM? Except better than what a stupid magnet can do.

[fuckai]

[fuckai]

Yeah, uh. How about we go with my plan, then. Which is you staying way the fuck away. [He is like 99.9999% metal pls don't break him]

[glitchinthesystem]

...

[glitchinthesystem]

Nah, I'm coming to find you. [ he doesn't listen to orders. ]

[fuckai]

No! Fuck off!!

[he is suddenly trying rEALLY HARD TO FORCIBLY PULL HIS LEG OUT OF THE WALL]

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Glitch is now clearly making noises as if he's heading down stairs. All the while sing songy: ]

Goooooing out the doooooor.

[fuckai]

Stay the fuck away. I have a gun!!

[HA....]

[glitchinthesystem]

Last I checked guns shoot METAL.

Metal that I can stop.

Or crush. [ there's no way to win, Church. ]

[fuckai]

SHIT.

[He hadn't thought of that.]

Look. Just. Stay the fuck away. I don't need your help!

voice->Action

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Glitch at this point has stopped responding. Perhaps he finally listened?

Nah, nah he hasn't.

Instead he was taking the time to look on the network to find the whereabouts of Church. So far he's narrowed it down to Heropa in an imPort neighbourhood.

Now where are those loud shrieks coming from?

Ah, over there.

Doop doop doop, just going to head up to the door and knock. ]