voice;

[fuckai]

[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]

So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.

How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?

Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.

I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?

[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]

Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.

[...............]




And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?

Comments

Permavoice;

[exceptfebruary]

The Porter brought me to the universe before this one. I was sent home on November 11th, 2012. I was ported to this world, with an additional power, on January 6th, 2016.

[fuckai]

[There's a few moments of silence as Church processes that. Then: ]

Holy shit. What did you do to it, kill its mother?

[exceptfebruary]

I would say that perhaps I caused too much trouble, but if she didn't want me to do so she wouldn't have given me the power it did.

voice

[dualismum]

How did you get your leg stuck, in first place...?

voice

[fuckai]

Uh, I kicked it? How the hell else do people get stuck in walls?

voice

[incogneto]

Break the wall.

[ Duh. ]

voice

[fuckai]

[Shrilly: ] That's how I got stuck!

voice;

[givetheslip]

Is it attached to the wall or inside it? If it's the latter, you may have to cut it off.

[Said with complete sincerity, but who knows if that's real.]

voice;

[fuckai]

I'M NOT CUTTING OFF MY LEG!!

[Way to answer the question, Church.]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurch! You're back! Hello!

[Ignoring the whole disgruntled and stuck in a wall thing.]

[fuckai]

Oh, uh. Hey....... kid. [Church did you forget Ripley's name again what the fuck, man.]

You've been sworn in as a Blue and all that crap, right?

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Normally, Glitch may answer this kind of question but today is not that day.

Instead it's a loud, insufferable groan followed by: ]

Oh no, not you again!

[fuckai]

[Oh it's this asshole.]

Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. I can't deal with this crap right now.

[Hi, Glitch.]

[airshow]

Depends. How much butter are you carrying right now?

[fuckai]

None? Who the fuck carries butter around?!

video

[dendarii]

Hello, Church. Nice to see you again.

permavoice

[fuckai]

Oh, hey, it's the girlfriend stealer.

[CHURCH PLAY NICE]

voice

[liverletdie]

Kind of rude, to call it a shithole, don't you think?

voice

[fuckai]

Hey, I'm just calling it like I see it.

[deadkord]

Oh good. You're back.

[fuckai]

Yeah, trust me. Not exactly happy about it either.

voice

[burnseternal]

Breaking the wall is one possibility, certainly. But it would be far more convenient to you, and those you have ostensibly been roomed with, to attempt to control the power that got it there in the first place. You were granted with the power of intangibility, correct?

voice

[fuckai]

Control??? That's easy for you to say, your leg isn't STUCK IN A WALL!

[He might be freaking out a little bit.]

Yeah, intangiwhatsit. Do you know where the on switch for this bullshit is?

text

[failureisntachoice]

[ Church she can see you making a damn fool of yourself all over this post. Really. ]

I should be checking in with you, huh?

voice

[fuckai]

[Oh thank God. Despite how much Church has been screaming and working himself up all over the post, just seeing the notification from Tex is enough to have him calming down. At least a little.]

Well yeah. I've been leading the team since Blood Gulch, so why the fuck not?

[Look, he was just a little unwilling to try messaging Tex and get the same bounceback he got from Tucker.]