voice;

[fuckai]

[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]

So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.

How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?

Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.

I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?

[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]

Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.

[...............]




And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?

Comments

voice;

[givetheslip]

Enjoy your new life with the wall.

voice;

[fuckai]

What? No! I'm not living in the goddamn wall!

It's not even a good wall!

voice;

[givetheslip]

Oh? What would you require in a wall to be willing to make it your home?

voice;

[fuckai]

[grumble grumble] It could be nearer the kitchen, for one.

voice;

[givetheslip]

An excellent idea. As it is, if no one assists you, you may have to gnaw at your own leg. That would free you in the end.

voice;

[fuckai]

What? Ew. I'm not-- holy shit, do people actually eat their own limbs off? That's fucking disgusting.

voice;

[givetheslip]

If it's a matter of survival, I wouldn't be shocked.

voice;

[fuckai]

Man, screw that. I'd rather live in the wall than do something like that. Gross.

voice;

[givetheslip]

Don't worry. This era has many advances that I've discovered. I'm certain you can have your meals delivered to the wall.