voice;

[fuckai]

[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]

So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.

How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?

Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.

I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?

[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]

Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.

[...............]




And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?

Comments

voice

[fuckai]

There's no hole! If there was a hole, I'd just pull it out! My leg is PART OF THE WALL!!

[Church, it'd help if you could actually explain what's going on instead of just. Screaming about it.]

Re: voice

[incogneto]

Is one of your powers to phase through solid objects?

[fuckai]

Unfortunately, yes. I just figured it would, I dunno, come with a goddamn manual or something.

[incogneto]

The easiest thing for you to do is to stop panicking. Once you do that, your body will relax and you'll naturally fall right out.

[fuckai]

I'M NOT PANICKING!!

[Sorry for any resulting tinnitus]

[incogneto]

Sorry if I have a hard time believing that.

Really, you could just cut a hole around your leg.

[fuckai]

And what? Go around with a chunk of drywall permanently fused to it? I'll never get back in my armor!

[incogneto]

How long have you been stuck?