ʟᴇᴏɴᴀʀᴅ ʟ. ᴄʜᴜʀᴄʜ ☓ α | ᴀʟᴘʜᴀ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fuckai) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-06-05 02:11 am
fuckai) wrote in maskormenace2016-06-05 02:11 am
voice;
[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]
So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.
How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?
Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.
I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?
[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]
Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.
[...............]
And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?
So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.
How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?
Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.
I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?
[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]
Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.
[...............]
And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?
no subject
So how STUCK are we talking here?
no subject
.... My leg is fused up to the knee.
no subject
Quite a predicament. Okay, I'm feeling nice. Where are you, I'll see what I can do.
no subject
Besides, even if I told you where I was you'd probably only make it worse. So no. Fuck off.
no subject
no subject
You can do what with metal?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[he is suddenly trying rEALLY HARD TO FORCIBLY PULL HIS LEG OUT OF THE WALL]
no subject
Goooooing out the doooooor.
no subject
[HA....]
no subject
Metal that I can stop.
Or crush. [ there's no way to win, Church. ]
no subject
[He hadn't thought of that.]
Look. Just. Stay the fuck away. I don't need your help!
voice->Action
Nah, nah he hasn't.
Instead he was taking the time to look on the network to find the whereabouts of Church. So far he's narrowed it down to Heropa in an imPort neighbourhood.
Now where are those loud shrieks coming from?
Ah, over there.
Doop doop doop, just going to head up to the door and knock. ]
Action
Which, you know, really just sums up his life.]
Shit. [He swears under his breath when he hears the knocking, frantically trying and failing to hop back and out.] GO AWAY, NO ONE'S HERE.
Re: Action
[ He read that online but whatever.
He's just opening all the locks with his magnetism and stepping on in.
The sight? Just earns more a snort.]
Wow you weren't kidding.
[ walking on over don't mind him. ]
Action
[Church is snarling that in the driest tone he could possibly muster.
But then again, it's hard to be anything other than equal parts angry and embarrassed when Glitch walks on in and sees him in the middle of the goddamn living room, his right leg stuck about 3/4 up the thigh in a wall.
He's out of his armor, even if that doesn't make him feel any safer, considering he's pretty damn sure androids have metal skeletons. But at the very least, it means he can actually properly glare.]
Just shut up and do something useful. Since you, you know, decided to be an asshole and come here.
action 1/2
[ He's got a few ideas but he's stepping on up next to Church to kneel down beside the current leg stuck in the wall. Completely not afraid of any sort of punches or guns that might be aimed for him because well, robots can't hit him if he just magnets them away.
Regardless, he frowns a as he stars at it. ]
Mmk, first things first.
[ He's going to point his finger towards the kitchen and give it a little flick. A large steak knife comes from one off one of the knife racks and just floats on over. ]
Gonna see how fucked you are.
[ With the knife now in his hand he looks it over. Yup, sharp enough. Looking to Church with possibly the most unreadable and blankface he turns to Church's leg. He pulls back his hand, aims the blade and thrusts it forward. ]
2/2
He doesn't even bother to stop if there's any protests because he's cutting a square sized hole to look in.
This way he can assess if the leg is merely trapped between empty space or...weirdly fused with everything. ]
no subject
What? [He frowns, glancing up to where Glitch had pointed just in time to see a knife come floating on over.] Wait. Wait, wait, hold the fu--
[And that, ladies and gentlemen, that one moment when Glitch gets the knife all ready to be thrown, is when Church lets out a scream to defeat all screams. A screech of a panicked FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK! that no doubt shattered glass somewhere in the house.
And then, the knife jerks forward, lodging itself in the wall, and Church's body goes slack as the scream abruptly cuts off.
It's almost like he fainted. Or it would be if a small sliver of light isn't being projected from the base of his neck, a small pinhole calling notice to itself, right over the nearly seamless area where a data chip can be slid in.
A few seconds later, a life sized, see-through, white suit of Mjolnir armor flickers into being, arms waving angrily and wildly overhead.]
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
no subject
He pries out the piece of dry wall to look inside but then is completely distracted when the AI comes back to life...in a sense.
His eyes shift towards the now transparent Church rolling his eyes heavily when the man starts screaming once more. ]
I'M TRYING TO GET YOUR LEG OUT, YOU BABY! NOW SHUT UP! [ Okay, looking side the hole. There's a very deep frown when he looks inside.
Yup, that stuff... ]
Yeah, everything is fucking fused together with your leg. Clearly you won the lottery on powers.
no subject
YOU SHUT UP, YOU CAME AT ME WITH A FUCKING KNIFE!!
But then, Church just lets out a frustrated noise, very obviously miming strangling Glitch when he glances back to the hole he'd made in the wall.]
Yeah, tell me about it. Easy enough to get in, hard to get out. [Where's Tucker when you need him?
Forcing himself to calm down just a little, Church walks around his... stationary... body... and leans on down to where the leg's stuck.]
Shit. I really am gonna have to live with this thing on my leg.
[Grumpily, he goes ahead and waves his hand through the spot on the wall, avatar flickering just slightly as he does.]
(no subject)