voice;

[fuckai]

[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]

So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.

How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?

Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.

I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?

[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]

Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.

[...............]




And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?

Comments

[deadkord]

So you're stuck in a wall this time?

[fuckai]

Oh shut the fuck up. The tree was not my fault.

[...]

And this isn't either.

[deadkord]

So who's fault is it?

[fuckai]

The Porter's!

I was just getting used to the other shitty power it gave me, and now it's just skipped me forward a few months and decided it'd be so much fun to just go ahead and screw me over again!

[There's... there's a lot of anger, here.]

[deadkord]

Was the tree the Porter's fault, too?

[fuckai]

[Oh. Right. Shit. The tree.]

Oh shut the fuck up. What is with all you assholes being so incredibly useless?!

[deadkord]

That must be the Porter's fault, too.

[fuckai]

Dunno, pretty sure it's a humanity wide thing.

[I mean, he's not really insulting himself, too.]

[deadkord]

Okay, that might actually be true.

[fuckai]

Ha! Holy shit, you're not as dumb as you look. [It's not every day that Church meets someone as salty about idiots as he is.

Well. At least partially as salty. No one can have Church levels of salt.]

So who the hell are you, again?

[deadkord]

That's high praise coming from the guy with his leg stuck in a wall.

Ted Kord.

[fuckai]

IT'S A NEW, SHITTY POWER!!

[Well his good mood and willingness to introduce himself lasted all of two seconds.]

[deadkord]

What kind of power is it? It can't be just being stuck in a wall, because that's even more useless than talking to dung beetles telepathically.