voice;

[fuckai]

[The feed opens to the very disgruntled voice of a very angry person.]

So, hey, people of this shithole of a planet. Here's a question.

How many of you are sick and fucking tired of the Porter messing with you?

Show of hands, pie charts -- hell, I'll even give anyone extra points for pictures of flipping off a government building.

I mean, I knew about the whole "Oh, hey, I feel like being a dick and teleporting you out for a few months just for a goddamn laugh" but to throw in a new useless, annoying power as well?

[There's some muffled grumbling and swearing for the next few seconds as Church presumably re-situates himself.]

Good to see it's the same shitty, annoying Porter in the same shitty, annoying world.

[...............]




And uh.... does... anyone know how to get a leg unstuck from a wall?

Comments

Permavoice;

[exceptfebruary]

The Porter brought me to the universe before this one. I was sent home on November 11th, 2012. I was ported to this world, with an additional power, on January 6th, 2016.

voice

[dualismum]

How did you get your leg stuck, in first place...?

voice

[incogneto]

Break the wall.

[ Duh. ]

voice;

[givetheslip]

Is it attached to the wall or inside it? If it's the latter, you may have to cut it off.

[Said with complete sincerity, but who knows if that's real.]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurch! You're back! Hello!

[Ignoring the whole disgruntled and stuck in a wall thing.]

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Normally, Glitch may answer this kind of question but today is not that day.

Instead it's a loud, insufferable groan followed by: ]

Oh no, not you again!

[fuckai]

[There's a few moments of silence as Church processes that. Then: ]

Holy shit. What did you do to it, kill its mother?

voice

[fuckai]

[Shrilly: ] That's how I got stuck!

voice

[fuckai]

Uh, I kicked it? How the hell else do people get stuck in walls?

voice;

[fuckai]

I'M NOT CUTTING OFF MY LEG!!

[Way to answer the question, Church.]

[airshow]

Depends. How much butter are you carrying right now?

[fuckai]

Oh, uh. Hey....... kid. [Church did you forget Ripley's name again what the fuck, man.]

You've been sworn in as a Blue and all that crap, right?

[fuckai]

[Oh it's this asshole.]

Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. I can't deal with this crap right now.

[Hi, Glitch.]

[fuckai]

None? Who the fuck carries butter around?!

[glitchinthesystem]

[ wow, no you don't this asshole him. YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE. ]

Why? Because you're an idiot who got stuck in a wall?

[ he's helping. ]

[fuckai]

[Hey, HE WASN'T THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS. FOR ONCE.]

I didn't get stuck in a wall! [Church you literally made a post about being stuck in a wall] I kicked it, and my fucking power decided to be a pain in the ass!

[airshow]

People who don't want to get their legs stuck in walls, for one.

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Yeah, well, shush. The grown up is talking.

The grown up being Glitch.

Still, he snorts a little at Church's explanation. ]

So, basically what you're saying is, your power stuck you in a wall? Pffft, loser.

[fuckai]

It's butter! NO ONE CARRIES BUTTER!

And what the hell would I do if I had it?! My leg is fused to the wall, not stuck in a pipe!

[airshow]

Well, that's a different thing entirely! You should've said that in the first place.

[fuckai]

[UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! This little shit is so annoying.]

Shut. Up! I've had this power for literally an hour. Give me a goddamn break.

[fuckai]

I did! [He didn't] I said it was stuck! [How is that any different, Church] If it was just in a hole I'd, I dunno, shoot it or something! [Because that would help]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

[Again? RUDE.]

I think so? Boose said I was a Blue!

Except... then you all kinda disappeared, and there was no Blues for a bit? But now you're back, so that's great!

video

[dendarii]

Hello, Church. Nice to see you again.

[exceptfebruary]

I would say that perhaps I caused too much trouble, but if she didn't want me to do so she wouldn't have given me the power it did.