VIDEO

[freckledninja]

[If you ever wanted a screen full of dancing turtle your time has come. He has some sweet tunes blasting at first but after thirty seconds or so he slams those jams off and shoots finger pistols towards the webcam as his sweet moves come to a halt. This sure is a teenager who is mutant turtle that might be trained to be a ninja. He seems pretty stoked to be talking to everyone and doesn't seem to feel the need to explain things like Why He Is a Giant Turtle.]

YO! I'm Mikey! I'm in this Manchurian Falls place and I just got here and I got this brochure but it was real boring and blah blah blah. My bros are probably gonna portal themselves over or something soon to pick me up but until then let's hang! I gotta get in some sweet vacation time while I can.

Where's the best pizza here at? I got a need that can only be unneeded by about three boxes of large pizzas! I'm gonna stack them on top of each other like a perfect cheesy and tomatoey cake.

Comments

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[dendarii]

Oh my god you're a turtle.

[freckledninja]

Uh, yeah?

And you're a human dude! Or like some sorta shapeshifter who only LOOKS human cuz everyone else is human and you're afraid to stand out.

It's okay to be yourself! Be your own shape, shapeshifter guy! I won't judge ya! Unless you're like super buttugly. Like, made of butts.

[dendarii]

Just the one butt. And I don't think it's ugly.

[freckledninja]

Gotta work on your confidence! But I can't do that for ya.

So who are you? I'm Mikey which I already said but maybe you forgot.

[Gestures to himself as he says his name before giving an expectant look]

Can't be friends until I know what to call ya! Or I could make up a name! Like Frankie Joe or Grogson The Earth Shatterer!

[Video]

[monge]

So that's what a "cheesecake" is, zura...

[Finally, it's all making sense. Cheesecake is pizza.]

Eh...w-wait, your brothers are already coming? So soon, zura? My brother hasn't even shown up yet, zura...

[freckledninja]

They always come to get me. I mean maybe there was that time it kinda took awhile but D was saying something about weird passage of time or whatever. Maybe he was just trying to cover his shell. Still came! And I became super cool Savage Mikey while I was doing my own thing.

But forget them, back to the pizzacheesecake! You wanna do that thing with me? Cuz I am so ready to get my pizza on.

[monge]

[Komasan will gladly talk about pizzacheesecake, because he's honestly not sure what to make of all that other stuff. He'll just trust that it's true. And makes sense. People usually know more than he does anyway.

However, he's still a little lost on the lingo. "Get my pizza on?"]

Oh, well, I was just gonna eat mine, but you can wear yours if you really want to, zura.

[freckledninja]

I've worn pizza before but it's way better in my mouthplace. Can't taste pizza through skin.

That'd be an AWESOME power though. I could taste everything way faster! And way more things at once!

I'd become the most powerful cook EVER.

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[fullmetalbrat]

[Today Ed is wearing an Amestrian uniform because, you know, bullshit happens sometimes.]

Won't that make a mess?

[freckledninja]

Probably! But it's all going in my belly in the end!

[fullmetalbrat]

Even if most of it falls out?

[freckledninja]

I got real big hands.

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[glitterateur]

Maurtia Falls, huh? All the best pizza places I know are in Nonah or Heropa! [And all the pizza in Maurtia Falls tastes like crime] Have you made the pizza cake yet or is this an experiment? 'Cause if it's an experiment maybe you don't use the best pizza, you use okay pizza.

[freckledninja]

EVERY pizza is best pizza. Especially when I get to eat it. And yeah, this is my first pizza cake experiment! Falling in the footsteps of my pizza shake experiment!

How do I get to the Nonah pizzas?

[Nonah is like down the street right.]

[glitterateur]

You take the teleporter! There's a military base near the houses where imPorts live and you go in there and tell them which city you wanna get to. Unless you have, like, flying or teleporting powers on your own.

[freckledninja]

I can teleport but I can't go like SUPER far only KINDA far.

If I could go super far I'd be in like Japan right now.

[tactical_lalafel]

[One benefit of coming from Eorzea is that Malms' definition of 'people' is broad enough that dancing turtle teenager sails past without even a blink, leaving him free to get to the important questions.]

What, exactly, is pizza?

[freckledninja]

Only the BEST food ever! Picture this!!! You got a bready thing in the shape of a circle. You cover that bad boy up with tomatoey stuff and cheeses and then whatever else you like to eat! Meats and veggies and fruits and whatever you're into! And then after you bake it you slice that circle into friendly triangles and...!

And it's sooooooooo good!

[tactical_lalafel]

Ooh, that does sound tasty. I haven't been to Maurtia Falls, but I have seen several places selling pizza here in Heropa...

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[crapbearer]

[ Talking turtle? Yeah, no big. One of his dads is a chicken fowl. Max is unfazed, and offers a friendly grin. ]

Personally, I think the best pizza is the pizza you eat while hangin' with your buds. So you should probably get right on makin' some so you can enjoy your pizza properly.

I'm Max!

[freckledninja]

Hey Max! Like your hat.

And I dunno, sometimes best pizza is Pizza You Stole From Your Big Bros.

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[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Hi Mikey, I'm Ripley! You must reeeeeeally like pizza, huh? I didn't know that turtles could eat pizza! The little bitty turtle I had as a class pet once, he only ate lettuce and bugs.

--And sometimes he tried to eat fingers I guess.

[freckledninja]

He didn't wanna eat those fingers, he was just showing his turtley love! Or I guess turtley violence if people were being butts to him. I dunno much about being a teeny turtle. Maybe I oughta ask Slash about it when I get home.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Is Slash a teeny turtle friend?

[text]

[thelimitdoesnotexist]

[He's gonna be polite unlike those human punks and not point out the obvious okay.]

I wouldn't know about pizza.

but I know a few locations that deal in good ice cream.