maskormenace | video; chalk off spot 3 on Doctor Bingo

[ The comm is obviously the Doctor's. And the background is obviously the Doctor's room in Heropa 11 (if you know what the Doctor's room looks like, that is). But there's some sort of hodge-podge device made up entirely of junk and taking up the majority of the bed. There's a fez sitting on a bedpost because the Doctor has money and Heropa has stores so the Doctor can buy hats. And the person who's grinning at the camera like a maniac is definitely not the Doctor. If it wasn't the lack of eyebrows, it's the bowtie and the fact that this Doctor looks like he'd be grumpy granddad Doctor's kid.

There's also a possum that's hanging out on his shoulders. Yeah, space granddad's affected like HELL due to the current plot. ]

Hellooooooo Heropa! Doctor here, or at least a Doctor, or at least a Doctor that you might not know, though that's the thing, isn't it! I don't know if you know me or not, isn't this fun? [ This Doctor does not shut up. ] But I do know that thanks to a few conversations with a few friends and a little bit of poking around here and there that some things aren't just adding up.

Now, someone mentioned magic. I don't know anything about magic, magic's not my wheelhouse, bother someone else if you want magic, but what I do know about are timelines. People who know people who've got weird memory issues, speak up! Who's affected, who's missing bits and pieces, who's backstories weirdly don't line up with your backstories, this might be a timey wimey problem and I'm the king of timey wimey.

[ There's a pause, while the possum yawns. ] Oh yes! This is Murray, by the way, he's informed me that he's quite happy with his living circumstances though he'd enjoy it if he had a few eggs. I think I'm taking Murray with me if the TARDIS ever were to show up here—he'll be new Handles.

[ another pause before ] Oh and also, I do hope that I wasn't the one who came up with the sonic sunglasses. There's nothing wrong with the screwdriver, screwdrivers are classic, screwdrivers are cool. Tell the other-Doctor if he shows up again that I'm rather put out by the changes! Right, Doctor out!

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Naaah, not in the slightest! It's more fun than anything else.

So there's no magic to worry about?

Why'd there be magic in trick or treating?

Not in trick-or-treating. On Halloween. It's a very powerful day.

Oh, well there's arcane rituals of all sorts on Halloween but that's about it. Really, the candy's better. Have you ever had the ones where it's wax bottles with some kind of colored syrup inside?

Er...No.

[ And the Doctor just looks SCANDALIZED. ]

I'm taking you to the nearest sweet shop. Murray, get the map! [ The possum makes a small possum noise and hops off the Doctor's shoulders. ]

[ Whoa. ]

Hold on - is that a demon?

Nah, he's just Murray. I speak possum, you know, we've bonded.

Just...a normal animal.

Biologically speaking yes, he's a normal possum. Personality speaking, he's a lot more relaxed and tolerant than other possums he knows.

According to him, I suppose.

Find me a few other possums to talk with and I'll throw in my opinion as well!

Be honest, though, truly. That is a demon, right?

Nope, just a possum.

[ Murray makes an affirmative little possum noise. ]

But - animals don't have that sort of - planning ability.

Says you. Murray'd beg to differ!

Oh, yeah, 'cept he wouldn't, 'cause he can't speak for himself.

[ In response, the possum makes an ungodly hissing noise. ]

I think he's speaking for himself perfectly fine right there.

[ She rolls her eyes and makes a noise of deep disgust, because, well...yeah. He sort of is. So she just scoffs: ]

Stupid.

[ The Doctor returns to giving the possum a few head scratches and Murray just makes a happy little possum noise in return. ]

So you think. Personally, I think you're the one being stupid.

Well, I think you're stupid!

Not that big an insult coming from a stupid person.

[ And she gives a cry of anger, and hangs up on him. Like an adult. ]