1) How would you eliminate political rivals? I'm sorry, what? Isn't that a weird way to say it? I'd do the same thing I've been doing: Say things as clearly as I can. I don't think people need to spend forever talking about how whatever their history is. That's boring. Just get to the point of what you want to do so people can make a decision already.
And candidates like Ikki-kun are already sabotaging themselves. I don't need to do much there.
2) What are your plans for making sure the supporters of your eliminated political rivals do not mount an effective counter-strike against you? How can they if they've been elim...i... [There's an abrupt shuffling sound when Yayoi straightens in her chair.] Wait, were you being literal? I'm not going to kill anyone! And neither is anyone else! Even if they're slimeballs they're not that bad!
3) How big of a bribe would it take for you to change your opinion? Do you prefer a lump sum or yearly installments? Oh my god I'm not going to change my opinion! Is this a real interview? Am I on some stupid prank show right now? Ikki, if you set this... [Her voice trails off into inaudible yelling as she turns away from the mike to chew him out.]
4) What are you going to use the campaign money for? Ugh. Okay, a real question. [There's a long pause.] But... I didn't really get a lot of money for this. Maybe a couple hundred dollars? I get more from my part-time job. [Another pause.] I guess I could use that to start a charity to build homes for the Native homeless. There was a good point about their government providing for us but not them brought up in the debate. ...And...what? Homes cost a lot of money. I'm not going to have extra left over.
5) How will you promote your campaign donators’ interests? What donators? Anyway, if anyone does donate to me then obviously they like what I have to say. Why would you waste money on someone you don't agree with? I'm not going to change my mind because of anyone else.
6) What other bonuses are you providing to those who are supporting you? [Her tone is vastly unimpressed on this answer, almost derisive.] I'm not going to bribe people to support me.
7) What laws will you abolish? Why? I can't abolish anything, but I'd like to work on getting the limitations on our ability to travel removed. I think I have to agree that some imPorts are too dangerous -- that asshole who attacked Heropa back in January, for example. But most of us are great people who don't deserve to be treated like dangerous criminals. I want people like that to get to move freely.
8) Will you advocate for the continued practice of imPort welfare even though it does not foster the appropriate spirit of competitiveness and self-sufficency? If so — why, when they can contribute relatively little to society as a whole? Yes, what the hell do you mean they can't contribute? Don't we all get assigned jobs so we can contribute? Anyway, advocating for us is an ambassador's job, isn't it? Representing the imPorts? There's no point to running if you aren't going to do that.
9) Do you truly believe that the vast majority of the imPort public is capable of picking a qualified leader when the American public does not seem to be capable of doing so, with their support and nomination of a failed businessman? I really, really hope they are.
10) What are you doing to convince them? I've been...running my campaign? That's all I can do. If they decide they like what I'm saying then it means I did a good enough job.
YAYOI NAKAYAMA
I'm sorry, what? Isn't that a weird way to say it? I'd do the same thing I've been doing: Say things as clearly as I can. I don't think people need to spend forever talking about how whatever their history is. That's boring. Just get to the point of what you want to do so people can make a decision already.
And candidates like Ikki-kun are already sabotaging themselves. I don't need to do much there.
2) What are your plans for making sure the supporters of your eliminated political rivals do not mount an effective counter-strike against you?
How can they if they've been elim...i... [There's an abrupt shuffling sound when Yayoi straightens in her chair.] Wait, were you being literal? I'm not going to kill anyone! And neither is anyone else! Even if they're slimeballs they're not that bad!
3) How big of a bribe would it take for you to change your opinion? Do you prefer a lump sum or yearly installments?
Oh my god I'm not going to change my opinion! Is this a real interview? Am I on some stupid prank show right now? Ikki, if you set this... [Her voice trails off into inaudible yelling as she turns away from the mike to chew him out.]
4) What are you going to use the campaign money for?
Ugh. Okay, a real question. [There's a long pause.] But... I didn't really get a lot of money for this. Maybe a couple hundred dollars? I get more from my part-time job. [Another pause.] I guess I could use that to start a charity to build homes for the Native homeless. There was a good point about their government providing for us but not them brought up in the debate. ...And...what? Homes cost a lot of money. I'm not going to have extra left over.
5) How will you promote your campaign donators’ interests?
What donators? Anyway, if anyone does donate to me then obviously they like what I have to say. Why would you waste money on someone you don't agree with? I'm not going to change my mind because of anyone else.
6) What other bonuses are you providing to those who are supporting you?
[Her tone is vastly unimpressed on this answer, almost derisive.] I'm not going to bribe people to support me.
7) What laws will you abolish? Why?
I can't abolish anything, but I'd like to work on getting the limitations on our ability to travel removed. I think I have to agree that some imPorts are too dangerous -- that asshole who attacked Heropa back in January, for example. But most of us are great people who don't deserve to be treated like dangerous criminals. I want people like that to get to move freely.
8) Will you advocate for the continued practice of imPort welfare even though it does not foster the appropriate spirit of competitiveness and self-sufficency? If so — why, when they can contribute relatively little to society as a whole?
Yes, what the hell do you mean they can't contribute? Don't we all get assigned jobs so we can contribute? Anyway, advocating for us is an ambassador's job, isn't it? Representing the imPorts? There's no point to running if you aren't going to do that.
9) Do you truly believe that the vast majority of the imPort public is capable of picking a qualified leader when the American public does not seem to be capable of doing so, with their support and nomination of a failed businessman?
I really, really hope they are.
10) What are you doing to convince them?
I've been...running my campaign? That's all I can do. If they decide they like what I'm saying then it means I did a good enough job.