Akuti Tejaswini Jyoti ghem Estif Arqua Vorpatril (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghemnotgem) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-06-27 01:35 pm
ghemnotgem) wrote in maskormenace2016-06-27 01:35 pm
001. voice
Hello. ( tej, pragmatic as she is, has opted for voice for this post. it's a rich, chiming voice with a noticeable accent. ) I'm Lady Vorpatril ( she leaves out her first name — or any other name. she’d been hesitant to use the network in the first place, but using that gives her a little layer of protection in her mind. it’s been months, but it was months back in the nexus, too. ) and I work for Talk Show Radio Host Sush Whimbaugh. ( oh yes. )
Today everyone is going to the polls to vote, and as my boss had me interview the majority of candidates for his radio show, I thought I would share the results with you all. America's political system is very different from any that I'm used to — there's all this pretending that you're not even a little self-interested. And voting. ( that's for betans, although tej can kind of see the merits of it. but jackson's whole doesn’t pretend, it knows what people are like and rewards those who are skilled and ambitious enough. ) Still, I think I'm coming to understand a little of it.
Thank you, and may the best candidate win.
[[ ooc: each candidate has a comment with an audio clip of their interview — think radio interviews — feel free to comment to that as well as the overall post! ]]
Today everyone is going to the polls to vote, and as my boss had me interview the majority of candidates for his radio show, I thought I would share the results with you all. America's political system is very different from any that I'm used to — there's all this pretending that you're not even a little self-interested. And voting. ( that's for betans, although tej can kind of see the merits of it. but jackson's whole doesn’t pretend, it knows what people are like and rewards those who are skilled and ambitious enough. ) Still, I think I'm coming to understand a little of it.
Thank you, and may the best candidate win.
[[ ooc: each candidate has a comment with an audio clip of their interview — think radio interviews — feel free to comment to that as well as the overall post! ]]
KOMASAN
Hnm, I see...this is already a tough question, zura. The first thing I would do is make sure I have some dashi, zura. It's kinda hard to find in these parts, but they have special monge~ markets that sell it, zura! I guess if you really REALLY wanna do this, you can always go with chicken stock, but it's not gonna taste the same, zura.
2) What are your plans for making sure the supporters of your eliminated political rivals do not mount an effective counter-strike against you?
Boil them, zura! You have to boil your water and then your dashi to create what's gonna be your soup broth, zura! Instant dashi comes in granules, which makes boiling much easier, zura.
3) How big of a bribe would it take for you to change your opinion? Do you prefer a lump sum or yearly installments?
I definitely prefer silk, zura. Silken tofu is much softer than regular tofu, so it makes it easier to cut into little squares, zura!
4) What are you going to use the campaign money for?
Ah, that's the best part, you don't have to spend a lot of money, these ingredients are cheap, zura.
5) How will you promote your campaign donators’ interests?
Some Americans might choose green onions over seaweed, but seaweed is the classic ingredient, zura. But not everyone likes the same things, so I won't judge them for changing it, zura.
6) What other bonuses are you providing to those who are supporting you?
Miso is the most important ingredient and full of all kinds of healthy bonuses, zura! You're gonna need about a fourth of a cup of miso paste, but you can use the rest for all sorts of yummy things, zura!
7) What laws will you abolish? Why?
Before you put your miso into the pot, what you wanna do is spoon it into a separate bowl and mix some of your dashi broth with it, which will cause it to dissolve into a much smoother mixture, zura.
8) Will you advocate for the continued practice of imPort welfare even though it does not foster the appropriate spirit of competitiveness and self-sufficency? If so — why, when they can contribute relatively little to society as a whole?
Okay, so once that's done, you can put your miso mixture in with your other pot that has the broth, seaweed, and tofu, zura. You gotta be careful and turn the heat off first before you mix it, though. Just trust me, zura.
9) Do you truly believe that the vast majority of the imPort public is capable of picking a qualified leader when the American public does not seem to be capable of doing so, with their support and nomination of a failed businessman?
If you think you failed, try adding more miso paste for flavor, zura!
10) What are you doing to convince them?
You're gonna want to serve it immediately— Eh? ....Y-You know what, I think I might've brought the wrong notes, z-zura...
COUNT DOOKU
I 'eliminate' my rivals by discrediting their proposals and demonstrating the desirability of my own policies in a frank and respectful exchange of ideas. I do trust that was your intended meaning.
2) What are your plans for making sure the supporters of your eliminated political rivals do not mount an effective counter-strike against you?
My intention is to win over those who currently support my opponents, by persuading them that my reform platform offers a better future for imPorts and natives alike. They will not retaliate: they will join me. Those who are not so enlightened risk finding themselves left behind by progress.
3) How big of a bribe would it take for you to change your opinion? Do you prefer a lump sum or yearly installments?
I beg your pardon. I certainly hope that you are joking, madame- if not, I must insist on an apology.
4) What are you going to use the campaign money for?
My generous donors will see that their gifts have been used in advertising and educational materials to promote my platform among imPorts. My media displays at the recent Swear-In were proudly paid for without any government money: only through the appreciated support of my fellow imPorts. My message is an independent one, not one that depends on approval from the official agenda.
And that is all. The next question, if you please.
5) How will you promote your campaign donators’ interests?
By delivering the forward-looking and fearless platform for reform that they expect and deserve. I received my donations because there are imPorts who believe in my promises. And they will not be disappointed, once I am elected.
6) What other bonuses are you providing to those who are supporting you?
Only an attentive ear to their concerns and aspirations... and the promise that I will create the change they seek in return for their support.
7) What laws will you abolish? Why?
An Ambassador lacks the authority to establish or abolish American laws. However, if elected, I will be the voice of dissatisfied imPorts. I will advocate for regulations which allow us more freedom. In particular: renegotiating Registration, establishing Porter access, and reforming the imPort criminal justice system.
8) Will you advocate for the continued practice of imPort welfare even though it does not foster the appropriate spirit of competitiveness and self-sufficency? If so — why, when they can contribute relatively little to society as a whole?
I must take exception to this question, madame. The benefits imPorts receive are not "welfare:" they are a humane provision for people abducted to a strange world through no fault of their own. And I strongly contest the idea that we contribute little. Our businesses create cutting-edge technology. Our power grants this country an unmatched advantage in national security. Our charities aid the less fortunate and drive social change. Our celebrities are beloved by the many fans we inspire, and for good reason.
As a whole, the presence of imPorts creates a net benefit for the United States. We should be treated accordingly. As Ambassador, I will fight against this idea that we are a burden upon our hosts, just as I will fight against the idea that we are weapons to be feared.
9) Do you truly believe that the vast majority of the imPort public is capable of picking a qualified leader when the American public does not seem to be capable of doing so, with their support and nomination of a failed businessman?
I do not understand why you persist in asking questions which insult our community. I have every faith in the judgement of my fellow imPorts, and trust them to make the best choice for our community on June 27th by voting for Count Dooku.
I will not make any comment on the choices of our native hosts... except to note that there are many concerns with the policies of the government they have voted into office. As Ambassador, I will hear and act upon these concerns, in the spirit of reform.
10) What are you doing to convince them?
ImPorts are a busy people with many pressing concerns to contend with. Moreover, many of our people may have never participated in an election of this sort before, or they are newly arrived and unaware of all the issues we face. That is why my campaign has pursued a strategy to spread our message as broadly as possible. I have spoken on the Network, presented at the Swear-In, debated my worthy opponents, sponsored posters throughout Maurtia Falls, and solicited other imPorts for their input and endorsements. I am confident that by this point, all have heard the name 'Dooku' and know what my platform stands for.
I also wish to note the role of evidence and proof in supporting my promises. I am not making wild promises or accusations. All my commitments are well within the reach of an Ambassador's allotted budget and allowed authority. Every issue I have raised regarding the current state of affairs- the secret trials, the corruption in law enforcement, the secrets that are kept from us- rests on clearly established facts which are available to the public.
I believe I have built the strongest possible case for my candidacy, and done all within my power to make my fellow imPorts aware of why they should vote for Count Dooku.
YAYOI NAKAYAMA
I'm sorry, what? Isn't that a weird way to say it? I'd do the same thing I've been doing: Say things as clearly as I can. I don't think people need to spend forever talking about how whatever their history is. That's boring. Just get to the point of what you want to do so people can make a decision already.
And candidates like Ikki-kun are already sabotaging themselves. I don't need to do much there.
2) What are your plans for making sure the supporters of your eliminated political rivals do not mount an effective counter-strike against you?
How can they if they've been elim...i... [There's an abrupt shuffling sound when Yayoi straightens in her chair.] Wait, were you being literal? I'm not going to kill anyone! And neither is anyone else! Even if they're slimeballs they're not that bad!
3) How big of a bribe would it take for you to change your opinion? Do you prefer a lump sum or yearly installments?
Oh my god I'm not going to change my opinion! Is this a real interview? Am I on some stupid prank show right now? Ikki, if you set this... [Her voice trails off into inaudible yelling as she turns away from the mike to chew him out.]
4) What are you going to use the campaign money for?
Ugh. Okay, a real question. [There's a long pause.] But... I didn't really get a lot of money for this. Maybe a couple hundred dollars? I get more from my part-time job. [Another pause.] I guess I could use that to start a charity to build homes for the Native homeless. There was a good point about their government providing for us but not them brought up in the debate. ...And...what? Homes cost a lot of money. I'm not going to have extra left over.
5) How will you promote your campaign donators’ interests?
What donators? Anyway, if anyone does donate to me then obviously they like what I have to say. Why would you waste money on someone you don't agree with? I'm not going to change my mind because of anyone else.
6) What other bonuses are you providing to those who are supporting you?
[Her tone is vastly unimpressed on this answer, almost derisive.] I'm not going to bribe people to support me.
7) What laws will you abolish? Why?
I can't abolish anything, but I'd like to work on getting the limitations on our ability to travel removed. I think I have to agree that some imPorts are too dangerous -- that asshole who attacked Heropa back in January, for example. But most of us are great people who don't deserve to be treated like dangerous criminals. I want people like that to get to move freely.
8) Will you advocate for the continued practice of imPort welfare even though it does not foster the appropriate spirit of competitiveness and self-sufficency? If so — why, when they can contribute relatively little to society as a whole?
Yes, what the hell do you mean they can't contribute? Don't we all get assigned jobs so we can contribute? Anyway, advocating for us is an ambassador's job, isn't it? Representing the imPorts? There's no point to running if you aren't going to do that.
9) Do you truly believe that the vast majority of the imPort public is capable of picking a qualified leader when the American public does not seem to be capable of doing so, with their support and nomination of a failed businessman?
I really, really hope they are.
10) What are you doing to convince them?
I've been...running my campaign? That's all I can do. If they decide they like what I'm saying then it means I did a good enough job.
replying to tej directly
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It would be much easier to do away with it all together, and be up front about it.
( honestly. )
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( someone hasn't been to barrayar to see mass delusions at work, alright. )
MINAMI "IKKI" ITSUKI
TWO ROUNDS, NO HOLDS BARRED. I'll let them tap out if they ask nicely.
2) What are your plans for making sure the supporters of your eliminated political rivals do not mount an effective counter-strike against you?
THEY WOULD NOT DARE AFTER THE SHEER POWER AND SPREAD OF MY SUPER POTENT STENCHBOMBS. Never underestimate the funk of a teenager!
How big of a bribe would it take for you to change your opinion? Do you prefer a lump sum or yearly installments?
Uh... about 500 yen.
4) What are you going to use the campaign money for?
Building a giant robot OR a personal combat suit.
5) How will you promote your campaign donators’ interests?
... So. Are space bras better? Because you have some SERIOUS lift going on.
6) What other bonuses are you providing to those who are supporting you?
Seriously, they're fantastic. Have you considered TV, or maybe like, spandex.
I could go get some.
7) What laws will you abolish? Why?
Like right now. WAIT. No. I know a better outfit. Let me just see what your sizes a-
( a small fumble. and then, in a radio announcer voice, Ikki continues: )
And because radio is a tragedy right now, allow me to explain for the listeners at home. There is a lush pouring of soft, dark skin, just barely kept constrained by what seems to be an underwire bra, thick material, no hint of the nip in the rather sheer, yet tantalizingly revealing cotton shirt. The heaving with anger is indistinguishable from anger-
( the interview is, sadly, cut short. )