video - forward dated to 7/3

[performance]

[When the video to this particular post turns on, viewers can get a look at one Jaime Reyes and one Dick Grayson. Neither of them look as though they’re particularly devastated - no proud teenaged boy wants to address the crowd as a whole with red eyes - but both are notably somber.

Jaime’s the first to speak, posture held unusually still, though at the edge of the screen, it’s easy to see him fidgeting, picking at the skin at the side of his nails, an absent, insistent movement.]

Hey. Um, we’re here to talk about some port-outs today. If you’ve been here for as long as us - [he glances over at Dick, then back at the camera] - then you’re bound to get to know a few people who get ported out. And these days, it seems like people who’ve been here for a year, maybe two, are starting to get ported out. Maybe we don’t announce every single one of them, but we sure notice them. Over the past couple of months, Tadashi and Hiro got ported out, though Cass covered that one already, and so did Ellie, Minato, Shinji, Akihiko, Traci... I used to think that the longer you stayed here, the more likely it was that you’d stick around, but it looks like a lot of people who’ve been here for a while are gone now. The trends are -- well, that’s another topic. We’re here to say that that’s not all of ‘em, though.

[Dick’s posture is unusually perfect; his hands, folded in his lap, are completely still. He’s composed - too much so, for anyone who’s used to his constant movement.]

Wally went home the other day, too. Just a little over two years here. [He looks as if there’s something more he wants to say about it, but that’s all he manages, for the moment.] I don’t know about you guys, but for me? The worst part about this place is losing people. Knowing we might not see them again, and if we do, they might not remember.

But… even if they don’t, even if you both forget, it’s still important that it happened, right? [He splays his hands a bit, still folded.] If it hurts that they’re gone, it’s only because what you had together was worth missing.

[It is a rare day that Dick Grayson is more comfortable with naked emotion than Jaime Reyes, but it seems that today’s one of those days. Jaime gives Dick a little smile, though it’s strained around the edges.]

Anyway. What we’re really getting at here, is remembering these people. Not, these people specifically, but the people who used to be here. Or people you used to have at home; we’re not exactly picky. If you got any stories you’d like other people to remember, in case you’re the one who leaves next, we’d like to hear ‘em. [He should probably say something about how important these people are, but -- no, he seems to decide against it. He clears his throat a little.] Thanks for listening.

Comments

video

[monster_san]

[Jaime's lost another friend? Ah... and with that in mind... how long are e and his friend here going to last?]

...I'm sorry you've lost another friend. [trends... she should keep an eye on that, too.] That's--that's too many at once.

[she has plenty of stories, but she wants to say that first.]

[performance]

Jaime's been here forever, and he's friends with everyone, it seems like. [ A small smile. ] He's had it pretty rough.

Re: video

[khajidont]

It wasn't all at once.

[Close enough, but that's his way; downplay it, so it'll feel a little better, even for himself.]

It's, um... it's the way this place goes. [He cracks a tiny smile at her.] I hope I stick around, though, so you want have people saying the same thing to you.

video; private ( though Jaime can see too since they're hangin out )

[plucky]

Two years?

[ that's not the part she should be focusing on, but she can't help it. that's so long.. ]

I'm sorry, Dick. I know that's not what you were asking for when you posted this, but still.

[performance]

It wasn't, but I'll take it. Thanks, Babs.

[ Dick tries to smile, but doesn't stick the landing. ]

Just about a month less than me, actually. Crazy, right?

video;

[brushoff]

[ There's a pause. Dorian's voice is tinged with regret. He's got Major Feels with regards to people leaving and with regards to him outliving others. ]

I've been here almost two years as well. Where do we start with those who's left?

[performance]

It was two for me in May, [ Dick replies sympathetically. ] And I don't know. Is there anyone you find yourself missing more than the rest?

video; private (to Jaime, but Dick can obvs see it too)

[deadkord]

[ Ted knows all too well what it feels like to have someone important ported out. ]

That's a long list of people.

[khajidont]

I had a long list of friends.

[Now, though? Not that many friends. People he loves, sure, but friends, friends like he was with these people? They're in short supply.]

That probably makes me lucky in the long run, you know. Getting to know 'em.

video;

[amadaman]

Yeah.

[It's kind of weird responding to something from Jaime without addressing just him, but it wouldn't feel right for Ken if he didn't talk to both people present. Especially about something so important.]

Even if one of you or both of you are gone, that doesn't make what happened any less important. I think you get changed by every person you get to know, and as you change you change other people differently, too. It won't disappear completely, even if it might fade.

video;

[khajidont]

That's a nice way of thinking about it. It's just like you, too.

[Ken is all about the cyclical nature of life. They're all changed for having known each other, and then they change others in turn. It's a nice thought, but Jaime's not sure how much it applies to him, whether or not he can easily transfer so much of that meaning, so much of that exuberance and goodness that's been lost into himself.

Nobody can capture Wally, in all of his combativeness, all of his altruism, all of his faith by just being himself, no matter how much Wally talked him up in that last e-mail. But words can't either. He's at a stalemate, just him and his memories.]

I think stories have their place too, though. Remembering their names. You know what I mean.

voice;

[sassguard]

That's a lot of people to lose. [ Shepard pauses. He's been luckier than most -- he's only seen a couple of people show up from his own world only to lose them again, but otherwise the Normandy's had a surprisingly steady presence. ]

At least with people from your own world, you know you're going to see them again. [ Unless they were already dead. But the conversation doesn't need any more gloom injected into it. But hey, back to the topic at hand: ]

What kind of stories were you looking for?

voice;

[khajidont]

[When Shepard says that about people from his own world, Jaime can't quite keep his mouth from twitching. Only one in that list is from his own world, and Traci... well, if she doesn't remember, that's a dead relationship in the water, isn't it? No amount of love can surpass that kind of inequality, not at their age.

That aside, the other four are dead, so that doesn't work out so great. So he doesn't address it, just keeps it as a little twitch (though if this goes on, he's going to have a permanent twitch), and says, lightly,] I mean... good ones are nice. Ones that describe why they'd be important to you, but it's not like we'll tell you to stop if you decide to cover something else.

video;

[lasthugs]

I don't know about stories. But I'm trying to find a way for the café to keep running. It's a place for you guys to go, so it'll make me happy if it could stick around, you know?

... I'll miss Wally. He used to come and eat all my leftover donuts.

video;

[khajidont]

I think it'll stick around for a long time, Cass. Everyone loves the cafe. [He pauses, and then his expression softens.] Everyone loves you, too. Especially Wally. You know, I don't think I ever heard him say anything bad about you. And he has something to say about everyone.

[Sorry, Wally, but you are a bitchmaster extraordinaire.]

I'm happy you were there for him.

[He has no idea how much. He just knows that Wally wasn't fond of many adults, and having someone so quintessentially mom-like around was good for him, good for anyone.]

video;

[sidecars]

[ This is the first time he's regretted volunteering to serve his time in prison. He has a friend that's hurting and there's nothign he can do except give a shitty apology from a cell. ]

I'm sorry, Dick. When I get out, we'll bust out the ice cream.

[performance]

I appreciate the thought, but hey. Trying to stay positive. And it's not like I'm getting the worst of it, between us.

video | id reads "karen starr"

[boobwindow]

[ Considering what Wally's future entails, Karen can feel her heart sink. ]

The nature of this place, right? [ A sigh. ] Sorry to hear, boys.

[performance]

The nature of everything. Just... worse, here. In a way, at least.

Then again, how many people would we never have gotten to meet at all, right?

[ Video ]

[dualismum]

Two years in September for me. [ that's... nearly half of Sasaki's life, actually, since he has only existed for 3 years in his world ] It's a long time and we get to see many people come and go. It's something regular, but something we still aren't used to.

I hope we never will be.


I'm sorry your friends left. [ two of Sasaki's left this month too, so he knows the feeling far too well ]

[performance]

Yeah. Even if you know it's a reality of living here, it doesn't really get any easier, does it? I think you'd have to be pretty jaded to get used to it. Not a great tradeoff.

video

[foreshadower]

You know, I never thought he would accept it when I called him by another name.

[ A beat. ] I think we'll all miss him.

[performance]

[ Dick's hit with a pang of guilt, suddenly. He hadn't spoken to Shade much, except when Robin had sought him out to be suspicious of his intentions in being kind to Wally. And yet... he'd never done anything to warrant that suspicion. Nothing but believing in Wally the way not many people ever had.

He can't even say anything to the man now. Secret identities suck sometimes. ]

... It meant a lot more than he ever said. There aren't a lot of people with the kind of rock solid faith in him that you had. He might not have always believed he deserved it, but I know he wanted to.

Voice

[kanadian]

I'm, ah, sorry for your loss, guys.

[ There's a pause.,/small> ] I mean, we all lose people but... I think it's harder when you meet them here. You never know if they're going to show up again, or if you won't see them... and people who you miss from home -- You know to take advantage of the time here, right?

But... I remember Freddy Lounds, and how she'd... She'd been good to me. Really good friend, but someone killed her, and she never came back.

voice

[khajidont]

Yeah. Yeah, I remember her. I'm still sorry that happened, Kaidan. I wish that we knew who to punish for it, or at least that she could have come back.

[Sorry for filling your car full of bugs, Freddie. He didn't like her, but she didn't deserve to die -- and he can, of course, respect Kaidan's loss.]

You're right, though. We have to learn to make the most of whatever time we've got here, even if it's just a month. There are no guarantees. We should probably talk about it more.

voice

[hypnotherapy]

Imports are transient. I suppose it's just that time where we get reminded of this, more than ever. [ He wants to go home, after all, at his core. It's...something he feels bad about, but like a bird flying to nest or a compass pulling north, his heart pulls towards that distant shore. ]

But that's not helpful, is it...I'm sorry for your losses, though I'm sure you've heard that already.

The memories of the time you had together are valuable, even if it's only you who holds them. That much, I do know.

[performance]

Yeah.

... You know what's weird? I miss the people who've left, but it makes me want to stay here more than ever. At least until we can find a way to remember everything. I don't want to see them again at the price of forgetting all this, you know?

text;

[iamtetsuo]

what a load of shit

wouldve been better if i never met any of the ones who left

longer you stay here longer you learn its not worth meeting new people theyre just gonna leave anyway

[performance]

So you'd trade being happy if it meant you'd never have to be sad?

[beneathbluerafters]

What?!

[ Klarion is jumping straight into the 'disbelieving anger' part of the grieving process. He only knew two of the names listed - Traci and Wally - but he'd liked them, and Traci in particular had been a good friend. ]

They're... this stupid place!

[khajidont]

Yeah.

[Jaime's reaction is downright dim in response to Klarion's fury. You lose enough people, it gets hard to talk about it in the same way, in the same outrage.]

I'm sorry, Klarion. I know. It sucks.

video;

[whatyoumust]

It's always difficult to lose someone. No matter the circumstance. I'd say that you boys are too young to have to experience something like that, but... I was in your shoes long ago, too.

[Alberto smiles, serene and sad.]

It is important to remember your friends. And it is normal to hurt like this.

video;

[khajidont]

[He forgets, that when he posts to this community, he's also talking to his parents. This should be a good thing, considering how much he wanted to see them again, but it's not only a good thing. He feels okay right now. Controlled.

His parents have a funny way of breaking that down, without really having to do much, or say much, and more than that, he doesn't even know if his Dad knows that he's used to this kind of hurt by now. He responds, of course, but is left lost for words, if not only for a little while.]

Yeah. I know you were too, Dad. That's kind of a different thing, though. [Worse, in its own way.]

...are there any stories you wanna tell?

Video

[caduceusvalkyrie]

I am so sorry to hear about this lose. It's never easy, but please take comfort in those people you still have here.

[performance]

Thanks. That's all any of us can really do, right? Remember to stay close to the people we still have.

video;

[fridgeflower]

I'm... I'm really sorry to hear that Wally's gone. He-- He wanted to get out of it, somehow. Out of what's supposed to happen, I mean, and we never figured anything out. Not that I actually... I didn't help much. You get caught up in everything everyday, and you somehow push that stuff out of your mind.

[ Ahem. Anyway... ] Um. Everyone else you knew, too, that's... That sucks.

It feels like you're locked away from people sometimes, living here, like the consequence for being alive and well is having to do it with no certainty of companionship.

[performance]

Nothing's ever certain, right? Wherever we are. It's just... everything's more noticeably transient here, I guess.

I bet you still helped in other ways. He got too caught up in it sometimes, I think. I think there's some value in forgetting for a while, too.

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya is sitting cross-legged on her floor, with a leather roll stretched out in front of her, but instead of holding tools, it's full of metal stakes. There are maybe two dozen of them, nearly identical. Ashiah bumbles her way onscreen to sniff at them as Kanaya turns her attention to the camera. ]

When you're here for a long while, it becomes an inevitability that other imPorts will leave you behind. Sure, the likelihood may seem more distant for the tenured, that we will only stay longer. But every beginning must come with an end, and all we leave behind are memories.

It's in our best interest to be prepared for that. Especially when they can come back without those memories. It helps to compartmentalize those memories, externalize them. Put a distance between yourself and them, because if you're going to carry your dead, you need to be able to bear the weight.

[ She pulls one of her takes out, the words WE DO NOT FORGET engraved along the front. On the head, there's a purple sun, its rays wisping out in the cardinal directions. ]

We do not forget, but we need to find our way to cope.

[performance]

How do you do it, then? Keeping the distance.

video; private

[heliophilic]

I think... I'd rather meet people and lose them then never meet them at all. Because while it sucks that it happened... you're still a better person from having met them.

[This is far more personal than M is comfortable with, so he pivots slightly.]

You holding up all right?

[performance]

Honestly? I don't know if all right's on the table. But I'll get through it.

But yeah. I mean... you know that cheesy sentiment about how every person we meet changes us, right? But it's kinda true. And especially him.

video, private to jaime (and dick)

[harrisonwells]

[He's only spoken to Jaime once, right after he'd arrived, and they'd both been distracted by the whole doppelganger thing, but he'd said anyone. If it looks like Harrison hasn't slept in a few days, it's only because he hasn't, and there are no glasses to hide the shadows beneath his eyes. Which means he's also not wearing his sound-suppression tech, so there may be moments when he's distracted by some distant but penetrating noise, on either end of the video.]

It's only been two days. That she's been gone. But. My daughter was here, and the Porter gave her wings. I never even imagined it, and it took. Some time. For her to stop fighting them and learn how to use them—I was able to help her with that, as it turns out, with what I can do—but she could fly, and it made her. Very happy. [Sigh. Maybe he's overreacting, but it isn't like her to be missing like this, and he can only assume she's been Ported out.] I suppose someone else remembering that would help, now that she's gone home.

[khajidont]

Oh... man, I'm sorry. One of the worst things this place does is separate people from their families.

[There's a real look of sympathy on Jaime's face -- empathy would be the more accurate way to put it, in fact. He understands intimately at least the sort of thing Harrison is going through, if not this exact scenario.]

I'll remember her. What's her name?

video: private

[andaway]

[Clark just stares at the post, unsure on how to reply to something like this. Wally was... Wally was honestly one of the few people who got Clark to laugh, in this place. And it's not easy to lose a friend.]

Are you okay? [He's talking to both of them.]

[khajidont]

[God, what a question. After all this loss, is he okay? What can he say to that?

The truth. He shrugs.]

Not really. We'll get there, though. This is... just the way this place is.