maskormenace | (no subject)

[This is a view from the bottom of a very tall hill - a small mountain, if you will - that is also very steep and has a small cart at the top. Standing next to the cart is Adam Parrish. He looks doubtful.]

This is for posterity, Parrish. In case we die.

[Running a hand over his face, Adam’s faint voice can be heard in all it’s horrifically accented glory.]

I should never have let you watch those Jackass reruns. It’s not the nineties anymore.

[Ronan makes a noise.]

Don’t pussy out on me now-

[Ronan sets the camera down and gets in the shot; the angle such as it can catch the entire length of the hill. He heads up, and there is a moment of bickering at the top that the camera doesn’t catch because that’s how far up they are. The bickering is good natured for all that - they’re not really fighting. They’re just arguing for the joy of arguing. Chainsaw is sitting at the front of the cart and she occasionally contributes her opinions in the form of cawing.

And then Adam scowls, gets in the cart, and Ronan gets in behind him. Apparently, Lynches celebrate birthdays with spectacular feats of stupidly racing down things, because Ronan pushes them. They’re both screaming after a moment, and Chainsaw opens her wings and flies away before they crash at the bottom.

Now they’re right in distance for the camera to catch them, a pile of boys at the bottom of the hill, with Ronan making a noise that’s laughing and Adam-

Adam Parrish, resident misanthropist, who has never been seen really smiling on the network (or anywhere the public can see) is smiling too, and pushing at Ronan.]

That was really fuckin’ stupid. [He’s still grinning though, far too fond as he untangles himself and moves to check out the pretty wicked scrape now on his arm. It’s then that he catches sight of their recording, moving to pick it up and hand it back to its owner when he gets a look at it properly.] Did you press something different?.

What? [He looks up. Ronan Lynch, who has never posted to the Network, didn’t realize that the red button for record and the green button for stream were different things. This is what you get when you hate phones. He gets up, and rolls his eyes, and switches it off.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What does real matter anyway?

[ He shrugs his shoulders but holds Ronan's gaze. ] You're a Greywarren, Matthew's a dream, I'm a Magician. It doesn't stop anything. I didn't become less real when I gave myself up to Cabeswater. Matthew isn't any less real because he came from your head. He's still alive.

It matters.

[He takes Adam's spoon again.]

I know that, but he doesn't. And it matters to him, if he thinks he's not, then it's my fucking fault.

[ Adam frowns. ]

Does he know about Aurora?

Of course he knows about mom.

[They go to see her. Ronan told him. He told him all of their dad's secrets.]

Does he think she's any less because of that?

[ He's just trying to be reasonable. ]

I don't know.

I don't know why it happened, or why I had to hear about it from Noah.

Fuck.

[He looks away, and then back at Adam.]

You know this is shitty, right? You shouldn't be doing this.

[He says it calmly so it's not that he's mad that Adam is asking. He's just.

He doesn't want Adam to feel obligated.]

[ He looks down at his bowl and then up again. ]

I care about you, you shitbag.

[ It's as close to love as they can get for now. ] You don't have to pretend to be okay just because it's my birthday. Fuck that. Why did Noah tell you?

Because I told him he should have kept his mouth shut about being dead to my stupid kid brother.

[Matthew is dumb. But more importantly, Matthew is innocent, and Ronan needs that about Matthew. His utter innocence.]

[ He'd known they were bickering. He couldn't have not. Ronan's refusal to tell them anything the other day and Noah's disappearance couldn't be more of a coincidence if it tried. Which mean it wasn't.

He watches Ronan for a quiet moment, working through his thoughts. Adam doesn't necessarily believe Matthew should be protected from hard truths the same way he should be protected from the world at large, but as big brother and creator Ronan would obviously see it differently. ]

Maybe it's for the best that he knows now. [ Carefully. ] You've seen how things in this place get. What if Noah's suddenly a ghost again and Matthew had found out we'd been keeping it from him this whole time? I know he's not the most perceptive, but it'd still hurt him then. You can at least help him deal with the fallout while the blow is a little more ... gentle. [ Adam's not as close to either of them, but knowing there's nothing they can do for Noah is hard enough even then. Matthew is clearly attached. ]

[He looks up, sharply.]

He should have talked to me first.

He should have asked me before he went around-

Jesus, you know that secrets are important! We protect each other all the time.

[ Sometimes navigating their personal issues is like trying to avoid getting blown up in a minefield. But Adam wants to help. He can't really stand by and watch Ronan hurt. ]

Noah being dead wasn't your secret though.

[ Matthew had already known that he wasn't real. He'd fallen asleep. There was no way he could avoid that. ]

I know you want what's best for Matthew. I'm not disputing that. But if he's going to be near us then these are the kind of things that are going to happen. [ They're prone to falling apart every damn day. Maybe ignoring it isn't for the best. Maybe they need to make him a little stronger. ]

Maybe he and I should leave.

[He says it without intention. He doesn't want to.]

[ He holds himself very still. ]

There are better ways of dealing with this.

[He tilts his head up. Aggressive, is how he would look to anyone else. Adam can read him better. Adam can read the fear there.]

Yeah? What the fuck do I do? He's my little brother. Hasn't he already dealt with enough shit? With my dad? With mom? With Kavinsky?

Ronan, dealing with shit is a part of being human.

[ Because that's the problem, isn't it? That's what's been going on. ] You want him to not question if he's real? You have to let him go through all the crap that comes with it. It doesn't mean you love him any less. And at least he'll have you to help him figure it out in the end.

Declan-

[He hates his brother. But there are things Declan is better at.

Ronan doesn't finish that sentence. He kicks out, looks more like a thug than before. Says nothing.]

Fuck that.

[ It's soft, but still fierce. ]

Declan isn't here. So you have to do it, you have to deal with it. But the thing is Ronan, you can. You're a lot better than you think you are.

[He looks furious, fierce. He is at his most fierce with Adam, but it's because he's at his most vulnerable, too.]

Eat your fucking ice cream.

You know I'm right.

[ Mildly, before he picks his spoon up again. ]

I don't want to talk about this.

[He says it clearly. Not with body language. With words.]

[ Adam holds his gaze for a beat more before he shrugs, turning back to his ice-cream. It's not on him to make Ronan understand, and at least he's tried. No need to sour this any more. ]

Okay.

[He fights the urge to argue, because Ronan isn't always rational. So he moves a hand so their fingers overlap on the table, he moves it so they're touching again.

That's the compromise.]

[ Adam looks down at their hands and looks up at Ronan. It would be easy to keep going, to argue their way through this like they usually do. But maybe part of him doesn't want that, not here and not today.

And so he turns his hand over so he can fold their fingers together, caring little for anyone around them. ]