maskormenace | video;

[Oh good, it’s Mabel Pines. This bodes well! What doesn’t bode well is that she’s outside the mess that is Heropa 18, wearing a sweet helmet and with two piles of junk sitting on the front lawn visible in the frame. Piles of junk that might, in a galaxy long ago and far away, be a “pod racer.” Except these definitely have more rockets attached to the sides. Like, an excessive amount of rockets.]

Hey guys! Mabel Pines here-- oh and Dipper! [Who waves distractedly at the camera as he puts the finishing touches on his racer.] We just wanted to remind everybody to save the date. The date being August 31st! ‘Cause it’s our birthday and it’s gonna be a celebonanzapalooza to be remembered. We’ll be celebrating being fourteen-- totally seasoned teenagers!-- in major style. And all of you are invited!

[In the background, the pod racers gently lift off the ground. There's a faint humming noise and a weird glow. This actually looks like it might work?? Dipper gives Mabel a thumbs up and adjusts his helmet, only for one of the racers to make an alarming pinging sound and suddenly list to one side. He smacks something and everything straightens out.]

We really do mean all, even you new people! Every imPort’s a friend of the Pines family, except for that one guy and he knows who he is. Come by, say hi, get cake! Bring presents.

[Dipper nods at Mabel, and the twins snap on some sweet goggles in synch. Several pigs with fire extinguishers in their mouths stand at attention. Mabel makes to turn off the camera before she remembers--]

--and if you’re in Heropa we’re sorry about the noise!

[Mabel gives a jaunty wave and the camera turns off as they hop in their racers. The people of Heropa will get treated to some alarming drag racing noises and some minor explosions in the next few minutes. Everyone else-- hey, you’re invited to a party! If the kids are still alive to host it!]

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[What supervillain! There are no supervillains here. Mabel grins at him with the flaming wreckage in the background.]

Aw, thanks! And you don't really have to bring a gift, you can just come by and have fun.

But you were training, Mabel. Now's the time you'll get to do more stuff.

[Apparently Mabel's been making friends with people that kind of feel vaguely supervillainous? Whatever, it's probably fine.

Dipper's helmet is a little askew and he's got grease smeared down one side of his face, but his smile is still bright.]

Thanks! Promise it won't be as crazy as... this.

[He gestures behind him to where the pigs are putting out the flaming vehicles.]

Edited 2016-08-09 22:37 (UTC)

[Mabel turns on the camera and lifts the goggles off her face. The racers are... mostly not on fire anymore, thanks Waddles.]

Right? You'll be there, won't you?!

[ Wow. The urge to just burn this whole damn party down is rising. Happy Birthday kids, enjoy the sounds of everything burning around you.

But, he just laughs even more. ]

Wow. This is actually quite a sad attempt. Good for you. [ slow, slow, mocking clapping. ]

Enjoy your party though. I'm sure you'll be in for some interesting surprises. [ the threat may be implied. ]

[That's... a goat? Sure. Dipper checks his helmet to see if there are any dents. Maybe he hit his head harder than he thought? But then the goat talks and it clicks. Just another imPort.]

We're fine! Totally fine. Just a bit surprised.

[THEY DO EXPLODE. A little. Puny explosions, but these are puny little racers. Goodbye, things that looked like rockets on the back of the vehicles. Hello, small group of pigs using fire extinguishers.

Mabel watches sadly from her seat on the pavement a few feet away.]

--aw, man, and I was this close to winning!

Edited 2016-08-09 22:41 (UTC)

[Dipper's got grease smeared down the side of his face, but he doesn't seem to notice.]

It was pretty cool! Until we crashed. But everything else was great.

[The good news is there are none limbs or blood anywhere. Because these kids wore helmets! Because these kids appreciate safety.

Also they're supernaturally lucky. Mabel waves from where she's sitting on the pavement a few feet away from the wreckage.]

Yeah that race lasted like a minute tops.

[At first, he was going to wish them an early congratulations, whether or not he was invited. He'd met Dipper, back when he had his Aliea attire on, so he figured he might as well introduce himself when he doesn't look like a big alien candle, hair down and now sporting an actually casual outfit and hairstyle.

That's what he WAS going to do. However, with the end of the feed playing out, along with the explosions, those teal eyes widen at the sight as he...tries to figure out what to say.

What the hell did he just watch.]

Hi Dipper-kun. [And sister.]

[Blink. Blink.]

A-Are you two alright??

[Dipper's lying on the pavement a few feet away from the flaming pod racers. Because he's a melodramatic weirdo.]

Is this what Icarus felt like? Did we fly too close to the sun?

[Dipper sits up briefly from where he's lying on the street, only to flop back down again. At least he's far enough away from the wreckage that the pigs aren't spraying him with fire retardant foam.]

It was really neat when it was happening, though!

If you try anything you'll regret it! We've defeated stuff way scarier than you.

[And that was before they had superpowers, even.]

We won't save cake for you.

...This world differs enough from my own to warrant this question: What constitutes an appropriate gift for two people turning fourteen?

[There are sighing kids, but Tina ain't scared of no fire. She's leaping in among the pigs, trying to see from the wreckage what went wrong. How they can make it better, faster. More explodey.]

No Napykins Lunestalker, but cool. Cool, cool. And comes with dinner!

[Okay that's cool as heck. She pops up, ignoring the racers (they're yesterday's news!) and getting a better look at the new goatboss form.]

That's awesome! You're all fluffy.

I doubt a little girl, a little boy and a few pigs could do any real harm to me.

[ and he just rolls his eyes. ]

Oh I'm wounded. [ the sarcasm is thick. ]

[Griiin]

Sure, I'll be there.

Like.... huh.

[Give her a second, she'll come up with something they haven't done.]

We can't drive yet? I guess there's high school which means proms and stuff but we do those kinda things at swear-ins a lot.

[The angle of the video suggests that Dipper is holding the phone over his face while he lies in the street.]

Hey, man. We're okay. Looks like we'll need to build new racers, though.

[The video tilts to show a crowd of pigs spraying the flaming wrecks with foam.]

Bumper cars aren't exactly known for their delicate handling. If we really want to race, we need something that steers really well.

It's not like we can use an actual car...

[...But what if they did use an actual car.]

Legally going to fourteen plus movies, Mabel. No more sneaking in or bringing an adult.

No one likes you when you're not doing your weird magic thing and ripping out hearts.

Oh yeah we're fine!

[As parts of one of the racers collapses under the weight of the foam with an alarming clang.]

It was just a small crash and we wore helmets. It's cool.

I'm also completely sure that's not how it works. There's a teen on the end of 13. So... teenager.

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