maskormenace | [Video]

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[ The feed opens with Adachi looking like he swallowed a bug, for lack of a better way to describe it. He lets out a sigh after a moment, ducking his head down and reaching back, scratching at the back of his head. ]

So... uh... I've been unemployed for two months... heh heh...

[ Man, that sounded pathetic; Dojima would punch him if he heard him. Another sigh escaped from him, before he gave the camera a pitiful look. ]

I... have actually been thinking about where to work, and I still can't see myself as anything other than a detective. So, uh...

[ He paused, swallowing nervously. ]

H-how... d'ya start your own business around here, anyway?

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The first thing you have to do is buy a sign, zura.

[Komasan has started a whole zero businesses, do not listen to him.]

Uh...

[ He doubts a sign is the first step. ]

Isn't there documentation to pull together first? I think I know that much...

[ Maybe; it's not like he's ever actually tried this before. ]

Eh...well, I suppose you could go see a doctor if you really want to, zura.

[Doctor, documentation. Totally the same thing.]

That's good that you're being responsible with your health, zura.

I...

[ ...what?! ]

When did I say anything about doctors?!

[Right, about that. Allow him to explain himself.]

The next step is to go out and buy a really nice tie, zura!

[Oh, um, never mind.]

I have a tie!

[ Adachi let out a frustrated noise. ]

Do you even know what you're talking about?

Uh huh, I know, I meant a nicer tie, zura.

[Like, one that lights up or something. Oh! Or has pineapples on it. Pineapples are professional.]

Do you want more help, zura?

This is a nice tie!

[ He did not just imply his tie wasn't good enough, okay? He would go all Dojima on that little brat if he did! ]

Can I get help from someone that's actually helpful!?

Nicer doesn't mean your tie isn't nice, zura! Nicer is... Ah... nicer is...

Nicer than nice, zura!

[But Komasan's happy Adachi likes his tie. You should always be proud of your things.]

The next thing you want is a car, zura!

[Because as far as Komasan's concerned, he is actually helpful.]

[ Adachi opened his mouth to reply, before he let out a groan instead, shaking his head. No, this was a pointless joke right now, really. Just... let it go. ]

Car, hunh. Fine. What else?

[Awesome, finally we're getting somewhere!]

You need a monge~ haircut to impress all your customers, zura!

[ ...okay, hold up. ]

...what is a "monge" haircut supposed to be?

The best haircut you ever had in your whole life, zura!!

Right...

[ Listen, he cut his own hair, and it came out just fine, thank you very much. ]

Mm... Do you want me to cut your hair for you, zura? I can understand if you're shy, zura.

[ What the hell; was he serious?! ]

No way! Can you even hold a pair of scissors?

Eh... Can't everyone, zura?

People who have fingers can!

I do have fingers, zura!

You have paws! There's a difference!

[But his paws always functioned like normal hands, no one's ever had a problem with them before...

Well, Komasan doesn't want to make him uncomfortable. No sense forcing paws on people who don't like them.]

I can always turn into a human if it bothers you, zura.

...what?

[ Nope, all he has is that brief glance he saw of the Idiot Team's bear popping out of his costume, and he had no desire to see what the equivalent would be for this guy. ]

You didn't know that, zura? It doesn't seem like anyone knows that, zura...

[The government really needs to work on informing people.]

If you talk to anyone who isn't human around here, chances are they can turn into one, zura... The porter makes all the different people human when we get here, zura.

...that...

[ Was messed up, but instead Adachi just let out a faint groan, pressing a hand to his forehead. ]

...nevermind.

[Oh Adachi, take it from someone who has started his own business as of late.]

Buy a building, sign some papers, and then brag about it on the network.

[It's...a little more complicated than that, Kaneda.]

[ ...hey, that kind of sounds like the basic process though? Either way, Adachi flinched. ]

Egh... sounds like basically "have money first".

Oh.

Right.

[How's an unemployed guy going to get money...]

You could work from home. I think the lawyer guy in my house does that.

...that... wouldn't be so bad. I'm in public housing, but I don't think my roommates even know I exist...

See? Free office, and you don't even have to pay for electricity!

Heh... yeah, not a bad idea.

What else 'ya got?

...hm.

Classifieds? Hell, do it for your love life too.

Wha--?!

[ Adachi made a face. ]

I have a girlfriend!

...

[He's silent for a few seconds. A few...long seconds.]

Like a real one? [As opposed to a fake one, I guess.]

Yes a real one!

...Okay, spit it out.

And Video game characters don't count!

Wh--

[ Ugh, seriously; why did he have to tell him? He wasn't even sure if she wanted him bragging about her. Hell, he wasn't... much to think about. Seriously, why did she put up with him again? ]

She's a doctor here, working in the women's shelter; her name's Harley.

...

[Well, consider him impressed, by the way his brows raise completely and mouth hangs open a little.]

You're serious. A doctor?

Dammmmn! Good on you.

[ Adachi opened his mouth to reply, because damn right it was good on him, but he found his throat choking up, and a sputtering noise escaped from him instead. He didn't have to catch a faint glimpse of his reflection in the phone screen to know he was blushing like crazy too. Son of a... ]

I-it's not that big of a deal...

[Kaneda knows that look. It's the same look Tetsuo gave about Kaori. And the smile slowly creeps across his face the moment he see Adachi blush.

And he lets out a long whistle.]

You've got it bad.

[Like you're one to talk, Kaneda.]

Sh-shut up! I'm an adult, I'm allowed to like a mature lady!

[ Well... semi-mature? It is Harley... and wait, that wasn't the point! A flustered noise escaped from Adachi as even his ears turned red. ]

I-I mean... n-no I don't! Not that bad!

...Really bad.

[Neon signs are less subtle than you, Adachi.]

How long's it been? Two weeks? You got that glow about you.

U-uhm...

[ Adachi paused a moment, trying to count in his head. ]

Maybe two... months?

That's about how long me and my girlfriend've been.

Pretty great, huh?

[ Adachi hesitated, glancing away from the screen. His face was pretty close to tomato red at that point. ]

Y...yeah. It's... pretty great.

That's the kind of thing that has a lot of answers.

But something like 'being a detective' isn't the kind of business most people think of when they hear 'business', right? It's more like a private practice. Unless you think you want to start a whole agency.

Well, what else would you call it? You're starting a business, even if it is just you doing it.

A limited liability company.

I mean, that's not what I'd call it. But that's what you legally want, I think.

Well, yeah, that's generally how it works.

[ ...right? Y-yeah, right. ]

Right?

If you know that part though, there's not much else I can help with. The rest would be detective things—advertising and having a place to meet with clients. I don't know much about being a detective.

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text; ID reads 'Sumeragi'

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