maskormenace | - 2° - Steal from the Rich and Give to the Sexy

I was going to report a crime.

[The voice of Leonard Snart comes on, distinctive as ever. He looks into the camera, apparently leaning against a wall in a dimly lit room with pounding music and some flashing light. In his free hand he holds a beer, on his head he wears a pointy head that says 'Wizzard' on it, which might be familiar to some.]

But I'm not even sure what's going on here.

[That said he turns the camera to show Axel Walker, who - as usual - is a sight to behold.]

Make it rain! Oh yeah baby, just like that -- oh oh you are so fine.

[Axel is throwing what little money he stole because, you know, strip clubs aren't the best place to steal from, right back at the strippers. It's noble, you know. Like Robin Hood. He steals from the ugly old owners and gives to the sexy girls in need. Honestly, it's like charity, he's doing a good thing here. How could anyone want to put an end to this? Sliding some ones into girls' thongs, he turns to Leonard. While he's not entirely sure why he's being filmed, he assumes good reasons? He grins at the camera and tries his best to look cool, his body language changing to a sort of obnoxious swagger.]

Hey, yo, it's the Trickster once again and if you wanna get a little wiggle in your lap, come on down. I'm gonna be throwing singles at these honeys all night. No one is gonna stop me neither.

[He smirks cockily and turns back to the stripper, throwing a load of money at her.

Not to worry, children and concerned citizens, in spite of them obviously being at a strip club, Leonard takes care not to show anything that could entirely rob one's innocence.

He brings the camera back around to his face, just about smiling and clearly more amused than horrified.]

Help? I need a hero.

[ooc: Plotting post can be found here if you want to figure something out, otherwise just go for it. Commenting to each other and threadjacking are both HIGHLY encouraged! Action, voice, video or text, everything goes!]

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YOU- ! HOW DID YOU - ? [Rincewind's positively incandescent with anger, his whole skinny body shaking.] GIVE IT BACK! Give it back this very instant, this is a bloody outrage! Mayhem! Mayhem and insult, is what it is! You've got twelve seconds before I find and thrash you, you absolutely terrible git! How dare you even - ?! And it's mine, and you - and you're, you're wearing it, like - !

Give me back my hat, you damned thief!

Thief?

[Damned thief.

Yeah, he can identify with that. However, that doesn't mean he's admitting to anything.]

Are you coming? Cool.

Oh!

[he snatches the false hat off his head and throws it to the floor, pointing a finger at the video.]

Oh, you're too bloody right I'm coming! I'm coming right now, you absolute bastard! You think this is funny, do you? Well, it's not! It's - it's - oh, just you wait!

[Hey! He made that very lovingly.

Len reaches up to give his own hat a twist so it can sit at a jauntier angle. Jaunty, yes. Wizzardly and jaunty.]

Now I get what's coming for me, yeah? You promised.

[Rincewind sputters, watching as Leonard touches his hat with his no doubt filthy fingers. The man took his hat to a strip club, who knows what he's going to get on it!]

Oh, you'll get more than you can bloody well take. [he snarls.

(No, no he doesn't hear himself.)]

I knew you were trouble, I knew it. And it will serve you right if the Luggage ends up eating you!

Kinky.

[Since, well, he does hear Rincewind.

But worry not, Leonard doesn't touch people, strippers or not, and his fingers are as clean as they can be. Not that he's not a dirty thief and horrible bastard, mind.]

Is the Luggage coming? Because I've something for it. I remember it liked what I had back on Independence Day.

Back on...? [Rincewind whirls around to glare down at the Luggage]

Did he put something in you? [the chest lifts itself in something of a rectangular shrug, and creaks its lid up. Sure enough, it's been keeping Leonard's stuff safe for him. The Luggage ain't no snitch.]

[That just makes it sound dirty. Does Rincewind really not hear himself?]

There it is. You can keep that, for the record, I ain't gonna risk losing a hand retrieving it. Losing one once was enough.

[Besides, he'd rather keep the Luggage as much on his good side as possible.]

[unintentional innuendo is an innate talent of wizardry.]

- I don't want it! [he snarls back.] All I want is my hat back! And I am coming to get it, I'm warning you!

Not you, blizzard. I meant the Luggage.

[No way is he taking anything out of that thing.]

You are? Great. Make sure to bring change.

[BLIZZARD - oh, oh, it's been some time since Rincewind has wanted to punch someone quite this badly. He answers through gritted teeth:]

Right. See you soon then.